Department of Justice to No Longer Defend Undefendable "Defense of Marriage Act" It Never Wanted to Defend in the First Place

On a day when it feels like the entire world is burning, it's nice to get a little bit of unexpected excellent news…

President Obama has decided that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional and has asked his Justice Department to stop defending it in court, the administration announced today.

"The President believes that DOMA is unconstitutional. They are no longer going to be defending the cases in the 1st and 2nd circuits," a person briefed on the decision said…

His administration defended the law as recently as January, when the Justice Department defended the law against a ruling that said it violated the rights of states to set their own marriage policies.

While liberals will surely rejoice the about face by the President, they should be aware that he's only doing this to free up the Justice Department so they have more time to defend the "Put Adorable Puppies in a Blender Act," which the president personally opposes.

Tags: Barack Obama, DOMA, LGBT, Marriage Equality

Justice Department Opens Up Second Front on Gay Rights Just in Time for Elections

You know, when I first started reading this story, I got my acronyms confused and thought this was the inevitable response to that federal judge putting an end to DADT yesterday, but then I was all like, Oh no, this is about DOMA, a totally different LGBT civil liberties advancement that Obama's DOJ is going to be fighting against in court.

Seriously, FTS…

The Obama administration decided on Tuesday to appeal a judge's rulings that prevented the U.S. government from banning same-sex marriages, a move that could undermine support among President Barack Obama's traditional liberal base ahead of a key election…

Although Obama opposes the law, a Justice Department spokeswoman said that the administration was defending the statute because it was obligated to defend federal laws when challenged in court.

"As a policy matter, the President has made clear that he believes DOMA is discriminatory and should be repealed," said Justice Department spokeswoman Tracy Schmaler. "The Justice Department is defending the statute, as it traditionally does when acts of Congress are challenged."

But, don't worry. That DADT appeal is undoubtedly on its way, too.

In other news, Barack Obama is still doing his darndest to fire up liberals. I'm sure that'll work like a charm.

Tags: Barack Obama, California, DADT, DOMA, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Massachusetts, Military, Obama Administration

The Defense of Marriage Act Must Be Defended Against People Who Want to Defend Their Rights to Marry

Ever since we elected a disturbingly handsome black Ken doll/imam to lead us, every other country around the world thinks that the United States of America is totally frigging gay. And they are correct! This is why Judge Joseph L. Tauro of U.S. District Court in Boston ruled Thursday that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.

And to really shove the message up our collective you-know-what (anus), Tauro "sided with the plaintiffs in two separate cases brought by the state attorney general and a gay rights group." TWO SEPARATE CASES. It's as if he were saying, "No homo, but you fags deserve some rights. Yeah, and you freaking dykes, too."

And, though these decisions will most likely please both of The Indigo Girls (and probably Tegan and Sara as well), they probably won't survive the appeals process any better than your average homosexual will survive The Rapture.

But more importantly, what does Kris Mineau — president of the anti-geigh Massachusetts Family Council — have to say about all this? Could there perhaps be a press release documenting this ambiguously-named anti-fagtivist's Important Angry Opinion on Judge Tauro's decision?

"DOMA has withstood prior challenges, and I am confident that an appeals court, and ultimately the Supreme Court, will uphold the government's right to define marriage, strengthening and protecting children and families."

Yes, it is very important for our nation's children that homosexual adults not be permitted to take time off from work in order to care for a sick or dying spouse. It is also our Jehovah-given right to make certain these Sapphists and Oscar Wildeans do not share in the health-insurance plans of their life partners-in-crime. Every time a committed monogamous lesbian with breast cancer uses her wife's health insurance to pay for her chemo treatments, Jesus freaks out and does poppers with Saint Peter. Then they gaze into each other's eyes and just let nature take its course.

Tags: DOMA, LGBT, Marriage Equality

Federal Judge Finds DOMA to Be Unconstitutional

Well, here's some big gay news hot out of the closet! A federal judge in Boston has ruled, in two separate cases, that a critical part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.

Apparently, according to Judge Joseph Tauro, Congress violated the Tenth Amendment when it passed DOMA, taking away the ability for states to decide which couples can be married. In a companion case, the judge ordered that DOMA violates equal protection in the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment. Oh, snap!

GLAD attorney Mary Bonauto told Tauro that DOMA constitutes a "classic equal protection" violation, by taking one class of married people in Massachusetts and dividing it into two. One class, she noted, gets federal benefits, the other does not. Just as the federal government cannot take the word "person" and say it means only Caucasians or only women, said Bonauto, it should not be able to take the word "marriage" and say it means only heterosexual couples.

Hmmmm, defining "person" to mean only Caucasians. I hear they were flirting with passing similar legislation in Arizona.

Anyway, the next step in the case is the U.S. Court of Appeals, and then the Supreme Court! Only three more years until a decision is made!

Tags: Bill of Rights, Constitution, DOMA, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Massachusetts, States' Rights

Dan Savage on Barack Obama's Gay Record-Shaped Vacuous Void

When Obama ignores gay issues, he's not just alienating gay people. He's also alienating people like me, straight dudes who everyone just kind of assumes is gay for some reason that I can't quite put together. Oh, and people who are into civil liberties, too.

And, between those three groups, that a pretty big voting bloc.

Tags: Barack Obama, DADT, Dan Savage, DOMA, LGBT, Marriage Equality