Tweet Untweet: How Will The Dow Jones Change Your Life?

The Dow Jones has hit a record high! We're all gonna be RICH!** not applicable to people who aren't already rich

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) March 5, 2013

Tags: Dow Jones, Economy, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

Stephen Colbert on America's Credit Downgrade and Rick Perry's ColbertPAC Upgrade

You ever have one of those weeks where it seems no matter how many blood sacrifices you make to your tribal deity, things don't get any easier? This is totally one of those weeks!

Coverage continues with Rick Perry's patriotic non-political America prayers after the jump.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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Tags: Belgium, Bill of Rights, Christianity, Colbert Super PAC, Constitution, Debt, Dow Jones, Economy, Iowa, Iowa Straw Poll, Money, New Zealand, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Perry, Standard & Poor's, Texas, Wall Street

Tworld News: Week of August 5, 2011

The most informative tweets about the funniest news stories this week. No wait, that's not right.

After that whole debt ceiling crisis, it was pretty clear that our economy had no where to go but up…

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Tags: Barack Obama, Debt, Dow Jones, Economy, Fox, House of Representatives, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Polls, Primaries, Republicans, Twitter, Tworld News

Huge Majority of Americans Unhappy with Congress for Some Obscure Reason

So, this debt ceiling deal that President Obama and congressional Republicans concocted to get America on the path to recovery. I mean, I know it's a little early to tell for sure, but how's that working out so far?

The Dow tumbled 512 points on Thursday, its biggest point drop since Dec. 1, 2008. It's in the red for the year and has fallen more than 10% below the 2011 closing high in April, putting the measure squarely in correction territory.

Oh, but that doesn't mean… Does it?

It has been three decades since the United States suffered a recession that followed on the heels of the previous one. But it could be happening again.

Hmmmmm… I see.

But people have to know that the the President and Congress — in taking us to the brink of financial ruin before deciding to cut trillions of dollars of spending, without bringing in any additional revenue,  in a time of extreme economic hardship — were acting in what they believed was the best interest of the nation, right? I mean, people have to know that!

A record 82 percent of Americans now disapprove of the way Congress is handling its job — the most since The Times first began asking the question in 1977, and even more than after another political stalemate led to a shutdown of the federal government in 1995.

More than four out of five people surveyed said that the recent debt-ceiling debate was more about gaining political advantage than about doing what is best for the country. Nearly three-quarters said that the debate had harmed the image of the United States in the world.

Republicans in Congress shoulder more of the blame for the difficulties in reaching a debt-ceiling agreement than President Obama and the Democrats, the poll found.

Okay, but people still think that John Boehner's tan looks totally boss! Right? Right?

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Debt, Democrats, Dow Jones, Economy, Eric Cantor, Harry Reid, House of Representatives, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Polls, Republicans, Senate, Wall Street

I Survived the Fall of Civilization and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

Um, what the hell just happened? I left the computer for, like, half an hour to take the dog for a quick walk, and, while I was gone, Western Civilization came tumbling down and obliterated itself into a fine powder of dust beneath its own massive weight before spontaneously regenerating itself back up into the hobbled powerhouse it's been of late.

And all while I was carrying around a plastic bag full of dog poop. (That's a metaphor!)

In one of the most dizzying half-hours in stock market history, the Dow plunged nearly 1,000 points before paring those losses in what possibly could have been a trader error.

According to multiple sources, a trader entered a "b" for billion instead of an "m" for million in a trade possibly involving Procter & Gamble, a component in the Dow… Sources tell CNBC the firm in question that handled the erroneous trade is Citigroup.

Hahahahaha! That old million/billion confusion thing. Oh, man! If I had a million billion nickels for every time I made that same mistake myself…

Tags: Citigroup, Dow Jones, Economy, Money, Wall Street