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Dream Act
  • Barack Obama Orders Immunity for Young Immigrants

    In late 2010, the House of Representatives passed the DREAM Act, so-named because it was always a complete fantasy for a far-reaching piece of legislation to make it past the dysfunctional Senate, where 60 votes are needed to shut off an opposition party filibuster. The bill would have extended conditional legal status for five years to undocumented immigrants who were younger than 16 when they entered the country, have lived in the U.S. for at least five years, and earned a degree from a U.S. high school.

    Needless to say, the DREAM Act died a quiet death in the Senate and moldered beneath America's Latino-manicured lawns until it was resurrected, today, in the form of an executive order by President Obama…

    Under the administration plan, illegal immigrants will be immune from deportation if they were brought to the United States before they turned 16 and are younger than 30, have been in the country for at least five continuous years, have no criminal history, graduated from a U.S. high school or earned a GED, or served in the military. They also can apply for a work permit that will be good for two years with no limits on how many times it can be renewed. The officials who described the plan spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss it in advance of the official announcement.

    Unlike a legislative solution, this action offers no path to citizenship — it's neither amnesty nor legalization, but merely a semi-permanent stay of deportation — but it still represents good news for friends of Jesus.

    Firstly, because there are few things more unChristian than deporting young people to countries they may not even remember. Secondly, because Jesus has positively working his ass off, getting a GED, joining the military, and trying to start his own restaurant, despite a lack of documentation, and why would we ever want to be rid of this cool guy?

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Dream Act, Hispanic, Immigration, Latino
  • Marco Rubio Too Nice to Immigrants to Be Romney's VP?

    Marco RubioUnless you've been living in a cave for the last few months, you've probably heard the name "Marco Rubio" come up quite a bit in the context of VP speculation. And if you have been living in a cave, then I have some bad news: Your favorite candidate, Ron Paul, will not win the nomination this year.

    Since Rubio is Latino and hails from the crucial swing state of Florida, he seems like the perfect running mate for Romney. There's only one problem. He has reasonable views on immigration

    Florida Sen. Marco Rubio has thrust himself into the raging illegal immigration debate, proposing a plan that would create a path to legal status for children of illegal immigrants — putting him at odds with an immoveable wing of the Republican Party on this issue.

    It’s a risky move for a potential vice presidential candidate, and it puts presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney in a pickle as he may have to decide whether to back an immigration plan rolled out by one of the party’s rising Hispanic stars, or stick to the strident anti-illegal immigrant positions he staked out during the Republican primary…

    Rubio’s version [of the DREAM Act] does not have a citizenship option, as Democrats propose, but it would open the door for children of illegal immigrants who have completed high school to be awarded "non-immigrant visas" before obtaining a more permanent status. The Romney camp is closely watching Rubio's moves on immigration.

    Yes, Romney wouldn't want Rubio to treat immigrants too humanely. Perhaps if undocumented workers declared themselves to be corporations, the GOP would treat them like actual people. You know, with actual lives, families and career goals.

    Hopefully, Romney can look past the DREAM Act and give Rubio a shot. After all, Romney and Rubio are very similar. They're both ashamed of their Mormonism, look great in suits and have no definable personality. Sounds like a match made in non-denominational Christian heaven.

    Photo by Win McNamee-Staff/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Dream Act, Florida, Immigration, Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, Republicans, vice president
  • The Delicious Chimichanga That Could Bring Down Obama

    Laugh now, but one day President Santorum will erect a monument to this chimichanga

    Jim Messina, who is helming the president's reelection effort, tweeted a line from a column written by The Washington Post's Dana Milbank, in which he argues that Republicans will struggle to attract the Latino vote after coming out against the DREAM immigration reform act.

    "Line of the day from WAPO's Dana Milbank: 'The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos,' " Messina tweeted.

    But the comments drew rebuke from Republicans, who argued the reference to the deep-fried burrito was culturally insensitive.

    Aw, man! What a rookie mistake! Never ever never reference a chimichanga — or, for that matter, any type of stuffed tortilla-based foodstuff — to a person of Latin American heritage. It's almost as bad as talking about a stromboli in front of an Italian. Or meatloaf in front of a WASP. (Actually, if I'm not mistaken, an ill-timed meatloaf quip was a contributing factor in the Protestant Reformation.)

    Photo by Erik Abderhalden/Wikimedia Commons


    Tags: Barack Obama, Dream Act, Food, Republicans, Twitter
  • Mitt Romney Vows to Crush Your Child's Dream

    Republicans are known for their stiff opposition to government programs that benefit immigrants, children and other disadvantaged groups. But it's not everyday that a presidential candidate promises to literally destroy an immigrant child’s DREAM

    Mitt Romney said Saturday that he would veto legislation that would allow certain illegal residents to become American citizens.

    "The answer is yes," Romney said during a campaign stop here in western Iowa, when he was asked if he would refuse to sign what's known as the DREAM Act.

    Romney has said before that he would oppose the legislation, which would legalize some young illegal immigrants if they attend college or serve in the military. But Saturday was the first time he's explicitly said he would veto it.

    It's simple. If those kids wanted to be legal citizens so badly, they shouldn’t have allowed themselves to be carried across the border when they were babies.

    As a former management consultant, Romney surely knows just how expensive a child's citizenship can be. For every 3,928 dreams funded, the U.S. could purchase one nuclear missile, a half a predator drone or part of Warren Buffett's elbow.

    While some voters will be disappointed with Romney’s firm disavowal of the DREAM Act, it's totally in line with his previous opposition to the National PUPPY RAINBOW Bill and the Emotional BLACKMAIL Act of 2005.

    Photo by Richard Ellis/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Dream Act, Immigration, Iowa, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans