Stephen Colbert Explains the Finer Points of Hermaphrodite Sexuality

Rep. Duncan Hunter is probably very embarrassed right now…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: DADT, Duncan Hunter, LGBT, Military, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Duncan Hunter Warns Against Overturning "Don't Ask If You're a Hermaphrodite, Don't Tell That You're a Hermaphrodite"

Rep. Duncan Hunter — former Marine and failed 2008 presidential hopeful — has some very compelling reasons for not overturning DADT.

Like, for example, the inevitable infestation of trannies and chicks with dicks…

Rep. HUNTER: I think the folks who have been in the military that have been in these very close situations with each other, there has to be a special bond there. And I think that bond is broken if you open up the military to transgenders, to hermaphrodites, to gays and lesbians.

NPR: Transgenders and hermaphrodites.

Rep. HUNTER: Yeah, that's going to be part of this whole thing. Its not just gays and lesbians. Its a whole gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual community. If you're going to let anybody no matter what preference – what sexual preference they have that means the military is going to probably let everybody in. Its going to be like civilian life and the I think that that would be detrimental for the military.

First of all, let me just state that I share Rep. Hunter's fear that the U.S. military might one day be forced to degrade itself to regular world levels of tolerance and human decency.

Secondly, I'd like to point out that the good congressperson has clearly missed his calling, and should be writing for the adult sex entertainment industry. He could seriously be a millionaire right now. (Rep. Hunter, please contact my Uncle Geno. He's waiting on your call and is ready to cut a check.)

Tags: DADT, Duncan Hunter, LGBT

Duncan Hunter Wants to Know If You Support Throwing Money into the Toilet

Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA) has a sincere question for all the disparate people who regularly visit his official government website for all the great content there…

Hmmm… I wonder which way Hunter would like us answer.* Where does he stand on this issue? If there was only some way of divining that elusive information.

Completely unrelatedly, I wrote a poll for no good reason at all…

(via Pharyngula)

^{* Something tells me that Hunter was hoping for different results than the ones he got. Whoops! That's the Internet for ya.}

Tags: Duncan Hunter, Health Care, House of Representatives, Polls

Fellow Ex-Candidates Jump on Hillary Clinton's T-Shirt Bandwagon

Hillary Clinton needs your help. See, she spent a lot of money recently, and she's trying to recoup a little. We've all been there, right?

So she's selling these t-shirts. It's an inspiring message. But it turns out she's not the only candidate looking for a little reimbursement — other ex-candidates are hitting the t-shirt trail as well:

Mitt Romney:

Chris Dodd, Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich and Duncan Hunter:

Mike Gravel:

Mike Huckabee:

Rudy Giuliani:

Ron Paul:

Tags: Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Dennis Kucinich, Duncan Hunter, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Mike Gravel, Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani

Catching Up With A Loser: Duncan Hunter

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

Catching Up With A Loser! It's time for the next entry in the Pages' catalog of failed 2008 presidential candidates! Republican primary voters who thought that Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-CO) didn't hate gays and Mexicans enough to be president found their man in Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA)! The San Diego County Congressman entered the presidential race in early 2007, sporting an impressive resume including:

* Proposing that women be banned from the U.S. Army.

* Accusing former California Governor Gray Davis of burning down his house.

* Introducing legislation that would empower any parent to sue a media company for producing material causing "emotional injury" to a minor (including breasts, phallic imagery, or close-ups on Rudy Giuliani's terrifying mouth).

* Enduring a proud 27-year career in Congress without once dying on the floor of the House of Representatives.

Hunter pledged to make the United States a better place for him to be president by sticking to the twin tenets of complete border security and endless war in the Middle East. His campaign received a huge boost when he received the coveted endorsement of Ann Coulter, who chose him after discovering that her initial choice, Vlad the Impaler, had exited the race because of a campaign finance scandal.

The Coulter endorsement failed to provide a lasting boost, however, and Hunter's campaign was hurt by his eighth-place finish in the Michigan primary, where he lost — 0.32% to 2.08% — to "Uncommitted," who was riding high after defeating Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) in the Iowa Democratic Caucus!

Hunter dropped out of the presidential race on January 25, 2008, eager to return to his job of representing suburban San Diego in Congress. Imagine his shock, then, to find out that he was being replaced by his own son, who snuck into the race with the crafty strategy of also being named Duncan Hunter.

But not to fear: The younger Hunter is the odds-on favorite to win the seat in November, and he has promised his old man that the family ratings of 7% from the ACLU, 28% from the NAACP and 0% from the Human Rights Campaign are all in safe hands!

Tags: Catching Up With a Loser, Congressional Confidential, Duncan Hunter