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Elena Kagan
  • This 'Ragin' Kagan?' Is Going… Going… Going… Still Available!

    The 19-member Senate Judiciary Committee is scheduled to vote tomorrow on whether or not Elena Kagan will be moving on to the full Senate vote next month.

    The smart money's on her confirmation, so here's a chance for you to show solidarity with probably-soon-to-be Justice Kagan while you still can. But, ya know, with style…

    Download your a PDF of the design to make your own Team Kagan t-shirt and show you're on the team!

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    Design by Andy Ross, a writer and performer in New York. You can see more of his work at his daily comedy blog here.


    Tags: Baseball, Elena Kagan, Senate, Sports, Supreme Court
  • Will Elena Kagan Bring Too Much Delicious Borscht to the SCOTUS?

    Politics Daily's religion reporter David Gibson has an incredibly important question for the world to ponder thoughtfully: Is Elena Kagan too Jewish funny for the Supreme Court? Such hok a chainik from a respectable journalistic smartypants!

    Decide for yourself, what don't you?

    Stop it! Stop it! You're killing me over here with the one-liners, funny lady. Please, I think I'm gonna plotz!


    Tags: Elena Kagan, Jewish, Religion, Senate, Supreme Court
  • Senate to Elena Kagan: Put Us Out of Our Misery!

    So, the Senate should be voting on whether or not (or almost certainly yes) Elena Kagan will be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice. So far, we know that Sen. Orrin Hatch is definitely not on Team Kagan. And we know that Sen. Arlen Specter is a chicken apparently. And we can make a lot of pretty good guesses about a lot of the other votes.

    But, you may wonder why a senator will be motivating the inevitable — if ineffectual — votes against Kagan. This might shed a tiny bit of light

    Over and over, Ms. Kagan reminded the senators questioning her of their own duty to pass cogent, sensible — and constitutional — laws. The Supreme Court, she said, was not created to strike down foolish measures…

    On Tuesday, for instance, Senator Tom Coburn, Republican of Oklahoma, asked what should happen if Congress enacted a law requiring Americans “to eat three vegetables and three fruits every day.”

    "It sounds like a dumb law," Ms. Kagan said. But she would not commit to striking it down. "I think that courts would be wrong to strike down laws that they think are senseless, just because they’re senseless," she said.

    Okay, but what if it was, like, really senseless? What if we enacted a law requiring Americans to place the toilet paper roll into the dispenser so that the paper falls over the roll instead of hanging behind it? Well, what if we enacted a law making it illegal to acknowledge that there is a biologically taxonomic difference between alligators and crocodiles? How about a law requiring Americans wear spaghetti with clam sauce on their heads between the hours of 4 and 7 pm on alternating Thursdays? Because — mark my words! — we will do that!

    Ms. Kagan repeatedly said she would show "great deference to Congress." Perhaps surprisingly, that was not what many senators seemed to want to hear. They appeared to want the Supreme Court to save them from themselves.

    Please! You don't understand what we're capable of! As a body, we are effectively a seven-ton, mentally-handicapped sociopathic 9-year-old with intermittent rage disorder! We will kill us all!!!!


    Tags: Arlen Specter, Elena Kagan, Orrin Hatch, Senate, Supreme Court, Tom Coburn
  • Get Your Official Team Kagan Softball Jersey!

    Today marked the third and last day of SCOTUS-nominee Elena Kagan's hearings before the U.S. Senate. It's been a bumpy ride — fill of gay soldiers and Mormon vampires — but as the process draws to a close, will Kagan be confirmed or will she definitely be confirmed?

    So, as the country awaits the big news, you can cheer her on in style, with your very own softball jersey in support of "The Ragin' Kagans"!

    Download your a PDF of the design to make your own Team Kagan t-shirt and show you're on the team!

    .

    Design by Andy Ross, a writer and performer in New York. You can see more of his work at his daily comedy blog here.


    Tags: Baseball, Elena Kagan, Senate, Supreme Court
  • Elena Kagan Would Be an "Activist Judge," Which, By the Way, Is Horrible and Scary

    So what were you up to yesterday? If you are Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, your answer is, "Oh, I spent the afternoon being mad at Thurgood Marshall, who is a dead person and also a hero."

    Assuming you are not the junior senator from Alabama, let’s proceed with a wee recap of a highlight from Day 2 of Princess Kagan and the Temple of Gross. So Solicitor General Elena Kagan clerked for Marshall, the Supreme Court’s first African-American member, during the 1987-88 term. Jeff Sessions does not like this, because Thurgood Marshall was an "activist judge." It is possible that Jeff Sessions also has heard that Thurgood Marshall was a Known Activist even before he was a judge? In fact, it’s his fault that the all-white color scheme at your favorite local public school was altered (this was before the Internets were invented, so it does not really matter, but here is what your friends would call a "recap.")

    Here is Jeff Sessions on why Elena Kagan should not be the new Supreme Court Idol…

    "Importantly, throughout her career, Ms. Kagan has associated herself with well-known activist judges who have used their power to redefine the meaning of words of our Constitution and laws in ways that, not surprisingly, have the result of advancing that judge's preferred social policies and agendas. She clerked for Judge Mikva and Justice Marshall, each well-known activists. And she has called Israeli Judge Aharon Barak, who has been described as the most activist judge in the world, as her hero."

    Who are these other terrible criminals Elena Kagan has law-dated? Here is a random and totally correct guess: Israeli Judge Aharon Barak Obama is a Muslim terrorist. Also, Judge Mikva is a human bathtub for Jewish ladies.

    Day 3 is going to be so fucking awesome.


    Tags: Elena Kagan, Israel, Jeff Sessions, Senate, Supreme Court