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Eliot Spitzer
  • Rod Blagojevich on a Reality Show? Yes, of Course

    I just found out that Rod Blagojevich — who today plead not-guilty to being the worst governor ever in the history of ever — is in negotiations to star on a reality show full of "D-list celebrities."

    I don't know why that didn't shock me more than it did. I guess I'd just assumed he was already on a show like that.

    I mean, seriously, what took him so long?

    The NBC show, called "I'm a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!," will premier June 1, WMAQ reported. The plot would include leaving a group of D-list celebrities in the middle of the jungle and let the plot unfold, on prime time.

    The show reportedly could pay the impeached former Illinois governor, who is facing federal corruption charges, as much as $80,000 an episode. NBC confirmed it wants Blagojevich on the show…

    According to WMAQ, Blagojevich asked a federal judge Tuesday to allow him to travel if his bond was increased. The impeached governor reportedly is broke and believes the show could help finance his legal defense.

    If that doesn't work out for him, I think he should look into taking over for that ShamWow guy.

    Unless Eliot Spitzer already has it.

    Tags: Eliot Spitzer, Illinois, NBC, Rod Blagojevich
  • Eliot Spitzer May Make Bid for Most Masochistic Politician of 2010

    Eliot Spitzer — Former Governor of New York and big-spending john — may be trying to re-stimulate his political career by going back to basics and running for state attorney general next year

    After launching a column on, and giving interviews to National Public Radio and the "Today" show, the sources say, the disgraced former governor told friends: "My record as governor was disappointing, but the voters will remember my excellent two terms as attorney general."

    Laugh all you want at Spitzer, but you do have to admit: He was a seven-diamond attorney general.

    Tags: Eliot Spitzer, New York
  • Again with the Most Important Jews in Politics of 2008 Already!

    As 2008 draws to a close, we thought it appropriate to run Gladstone's year-end round-up of the the eight most important Jews in American politics of the past year, that he'd originally written to celebrate American Jewishyishness and the eight nights of Hanukkah.

    If you missed it the first eight times, here's your chance to catch up…

    In honor of Hanukkah and the Jewish people, Indecision 2008 news editor Dennis DiClaudio put together a special feature called The 8 Most Important Jews in Politics of 2008.

    Of course, Dennis — despite being hairy, bespectacled, and consumed with religious guilt — is not actually what my people refer to as a “Jew.” And frankly, while I’m all for tolerance and diversity, the thought of his greasy Italian fingers punching up a piece on my political brethren makes me want to puke up my macaroons.

    So seeing as I’ve been Bar Mitzvah’d, circumcised, and found attractive by Catholic girls with Jew fetishes, I offered to spruce up his list. I must say, even though Dennis didn’t manage to select the actual Jews in our nation’s Zionist occupied shadow government, I think his efforts were just adorable. So sit back and enjoy the next eight days of Hanukkah with each day celebrating a different political Jew of note.

    Night 1
    Rahm Emanuel

    In 2008, President Elect Barack Obama chose Illinois Congressman Rahm Emanuel to be his Chief of Staff, cementing Emanuel’s status as the kind of Jew my people want to be: one that Black people like to hang out with.

    But how important is that approbation to Rahm? Well, many feel he gave the up the chance to one day be Speaker of the House in order to run Obama’s White House. That kind of dedication is just inspiring.

    And this is no mere accidental pairing of a Black and a Jew like Jon Stewart and Chris Rock on my personal comedy heroes’ height/weight chart. No. By all accounts, Obama selected Rahm for his tenacity, judgment, and ability to get things done. Together they promise to affect real change in 2009 and realize the nightmares of bigots everywhere.

    Night 2
    Eliot Spitzer

    2008 was a hard year for Jewish surnames containing "Spitz." Of course, the big story was that Michael Phelps shattered Jewish Olympian Marc Spitz's seemingly unbreakable record of eight gold medals.

    To a lesser extent, however, there was also some slight reporting on New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer's wildly inappropriate prostitute sex scandal. The scandal revealed that Spitzer enjoyed exposing more than Wall Street corruption, but also raised many questions in the Jewish community such as "Is he Jewish? Really? Are you sure? Damn."

    Spitzer left office in disgrace after a press conference that was as strained and painful as some of the "dangerous" sexual practices he is alleged to have engaged in.

    Still, his downfall struck another positive note for Black/Jew relations in 2008. After the scandal, Lt. Governor David Patterson assumed Spitzer's office, making Patterson New York's first Black Governor and the African American that has benefited most from prostitution since Snoop Dogg.

    Night 3
    The Next Senator Elected from Minnesota – Either Al Franken or Norm Coleman

    When I think of Jew-friendly places in America my thoughts turn to New York, L.A., and Miami Beach, but, perhaps, I should add Minnesota to that list. I mean, aside from being the birth place of one Robert Zimmerman (non-Jew name Bob Dylan), the State was also represented by the late Senator Paul Wellstone. And what's more, no matter what happens in 2008's bitterly contested Senatorial election, Minnesota will be getting another Jew in office. That's right, both Norm Coleman and Al Franken are Jewish.

    No, really. Despite signs to the contrary, Norm Coleman is Jewish. And those reports about the Coleman family menorah featuring 8 maids-a-milking are probably apocryphal. Still, it can't be denied that Norm has hid his Judaism well through arch conservatism and a steadfast refusal to be even remotely funny. But don't underestimate how badly Franken wants this. While he may not be able to conceal his Hebraic status as successfully, Franken has been going toe to toe with Coleman by seemingly refusing to be funny for several years now.

    Night 4
    Lynn Forester de Rothschild

    Wealthy Clinton fundraiser Lynn Forester de Rothschild –- or Doll Face as I used to call her when we partied in the Hamptons back in the 90's — came to embody the Obama-hating Clinton supporter who just couldn't toe the party line after their gal was defeated.

    After raising oodles of cash for Hillary in 2008, Rothschild threw her support behind McCain rather than back Obama. The ramifications were great –- although Barack Obama still won the election handily, he received one fewer popular vote than he would have had Rothschild voted for him.

    Night 5
    David Axelrod

    Several times during cable news's reporting of the 2008 election I asked myself, "why is CNN interviewing that sleepy labor union representative about Obama's campaign strategy?"

    But that question only belied my own ignorance. For that vaguely unkempt mustached gentleman was no disgruntled shop teacher, but Barack Obama's brilliant campaign strategist, David Axelrod.

    Axelrod is credited with engineering Obama's unprecedented Presidential victory, and by all accounts, his efforts represent the most successful Jewish direction of a Black since Steven Spielberg led Oprah Winfrey to an Oscar nomination in The Color Purple.

    Night 6
    Mark Penn

    Ask any racist and they will tell you: Jews are smart, crafty, and good with money.

    Well, in 2008, the Jewish community took its hat off to Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's campaign strategist, for shattering those anti-Semitic stereotypes. As no one can dispute, Penn's handling of the Clinton campaign was just abysmal.

    Smart? Some claim that Penn was unaware that delegates in primaries are not awarded in a winner take all fashion. Crafty? Penn predicted that a big win for Clinton in large states would lead to a decisive Super Tuesday victory. Good with money? Hillary Clinton finally abandoned her campaign millions of dollars in debt.

    No doubt, Hillary's decision to team up with Penn will go down as the most disastrously messy Clinton/Jew collaboration since Bill stained up Lewinsky's dress.

    Night 7
    Bill Kristol

    I don't know Bill Kristol. He doesn't belong to my synagogue and we didn't go to school together, but I'm pretty sure I'd be able to pick him out on the playground 40 years ago -– if the Collegiate School's Prepatory Academy for Boys had a playground.

    Bill was the kid who did the bully's homework for him and then deluded himself into thinking the bully was his friend. Perhaps, little Bill even tried to affect some of that bully's power by tormenting his more socially-afflicted friends. By embracing something seemingly stronger, more mainstream and "American," he hoped to shake loose the shackles of his Jewish nerdom and acquire a sense of everyman -– a Manhattan elite, Ivy Leauge educated, national publication-editing everyman.

    Of course, this is all just conjecture, but it would explain Kristol's fascination with George W. Bush in 2000. Over and over, he extolled Bush's simple, old-fashioned integrity while lambasting Gore as a shifty, bookish nightmare. Perhaps, Gore was a dark reminder of Kristol's own tortured past. A past that included studying for tests, understanding Earth science, and pronouncing "nuclear" correctly.

    And in 2008, Bill earned his place on this list by being one of Sarah Palin's biggest supporters. His magazine, The Weekly Standard, defended this all-American, no-nonsense, right-as-rain sweetheart to the end. I have to wonder, after all that do you think she kissed his cheek and told him that for a New York Jew, he was "A-OK" in her book? Gee, I certainly hope so.

    It would be a shame to think he helped saddle a cancer-ridden, geriatric Presidential candidate with a woefully unqualified running mate for anything less.

    Night 8
    Joe Lieberman

    To find the people in this world who are really, really passionate about Joe Lieberman you have to search the narrowest shaded regions of a highly specific venn diagram: war hawks, who love Jesus, who aren't anti-Semitic, who can overlook pro-Choice politics.

    Maybe that explains his disastrous 2004 Presidential run despite all his "Joe-mentum." But as a Jew from Connecticut, I guess Lieberman is used to not exactly fitting in.

    Still, his not-fitting-in-iness got a whole lot more not-fitting-in-ier in 2008 when he backed Republican Senator John McCain for President. Lieberman railed against Obama and supported his pal McCain until the bitter end. And the end was bitter.

    When the dust settled, Lieberman apologized for what he'd done and ate crow -– which although technically Kosher, must have been difficult for him to swallow.

    Tags: Al Franken, David Axelrod, Eliot Spitzer, Hanukkah, Jewish, Joe Lieberman, Lynn Forester de Rothschild, Mark Penn, Norm Coleman, Rahm Emanuel, William Kristol
  • WINNER The Indecision 2008 Awards for Indecision 2008, Brought to You by Indecision 2008: The Best Political Faux Pas

    We asked you to vote on the Best Political Faux Pas of 2008, and you have decided.

    But first, here's the nominees…

    * John Edwards

    * Sarah Palin

    * Joe Biden

    * Eliot Spitzer

    * Fred Thompson

    * Barack Obama

    * Elizabeth Dole

    And the winner is…

    Who else could it be?

    It was Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for, well, everything…

    Thanks to Cube, for being pretty much the only person to actually nominate anyone.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Eliot Spitzer, Elizabeth Dole, Fred Thompson, Indecision 2008 Awards, Joe Biden, John Edwards, Sarah Palin
  • YOU DECIDE The Indecision 2008 Awards for Indecision 2008, Brought to You by Indecision 2008: The Best Political Faux Pas

    Last week, we asked you to nominate the great politicians of 2008 for the honored Best Political Faux Pas of 2008 award. And you came out in great numbers to do so.

    Here are your nominees…

    * John Edwards for getting busted porking some floosy by the National Enquirer. (Cube)

    * Sarah Palin for thinking Africa was a country and deducing the proximity of Russia to Alaska equates to foreign policy experience. Really that's two fuck-ups. Actually, all of her interviews. (Cube)

    * Joe Biden for guaranteeing a manufactured crisis testing Obama's mettle within his first six months in office. (Cube)

    * Eliot Spitzer for nailing a hot call girl and not defending himself. (Cube)

    * Fred Thompson for coughing and sleeping instead of campaigning. (Cube)

    * Barack Obama for his choice for the faux Parthenon at the Democratic National Convention. (Cube)

    * Elizabeth Dole for stating that her opponent didn't believe in God when she was in fact a Sunday School teacher. (Bob, I mean Cube)

    (Jeeze, I wonder which nominator is gonna win this one.)

    Tags: Barack Obama, Eliot Spitzer, Elizabeth Dole, Fred Thompson, Indecision 2008 Awards, Joe Biden, John Edwards, Sarah Palin