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Eliot Spitzer
  • The Most Important Jews in Politics of 5768-69: Second Night – Eliot Spitzer


    Eliot Spitzer

    2008 was a hard year for Jewish surnames containing "Spitz." Of course, the big story was that Michael Phelps shattered Jewish Olympian Marc Spitz's seemingly unbreakable record of eight gold medals.

    To a lesser extent, however, there was also some slight reporting on New York State Governor Eliot Spitzer's wildly inappropriate prostitute sex scandal. The scandal revealed that Spitzer enjoyed exposing more than Wall Street corruption, but also raised many questions in the Jewish community such as "Is he Jewish? Really? Are you sure? Damn."

    Spitzer left office in disgrace after a press conference that was as strained and painful as some of the "dangerous" sexual practices he is alleged to have engaged in.

    Still, his downfall struck another positive note for Black/Jew relations in 2008. After the scandal, Lt. Governor David Patterson assumed Spitzer's office, making Patterson New York's first Black Governor and the African American that has benefited most from prostitution since Snoop Dogg.

    Go to the third night.
    Go back to the first night.


    Tags: Eliot Spitzer, Hanukkah, Jewish
  • Eliot Spitzer in a Massage Parlour? Yawn…

    Of course Eliot Spitzer recently turned up in a former massage parlour. Of course…

    If Eliot Spitzer were to choose a venue at which to make his re-entry into society, he would presumably not have selected a former massage parlour in Chinatown on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.

    But Mr Spitzer, who resigned as governor of New York state after getting caught up in a call girl scandal this spring, did not get the choice. Happy Ending, the former parlour in question, is now a sleek bar and it is where Slate, the online magazine was holding its seasonal drinks party.

    Mr Spitzer this month started to write a column for Slate as part of his comeback – he wrote last week about the Detroit bail-out – and so he showed up at the Slate party to be sociable.

    As a person whose been to (read as: got drunk at) the Happy Ending Lounge many, many times and even one time looked over from my table to see a naked dude salsa dancing with a slightly-less-naked dude, I think I can say with some authority that there's no way that Eliot Spitzer should have been there.

    Their bouncers should know better than to let bad elements like him through the front door.


    Tags: Eliot Spitzer, New York
  • Bailout's Failure is Great News for the Cheap Mattress Industry

    The failure of the mortgage bailout bill could mean a string of all-nighters for members of Congress, who are desperate to resolve the issue by week's end. This is great news for the D.C. mattress industry, which had been reeling from bad publicity ever since the Eliot Spitzer scandal last March.

    Rather than profit from the situation, one local mattress company is offering to donate beds to Congress for the good of the country…

    Late last week, Classic Sleep Products CEO Mike Zippelli fired off a letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) offering to donate 535 mattresses immediately to the U.S. Capitol.

    "I was watching John McCain announce the suspension of his campaign and said to my leadership team that it doesn't matter what side of the political aisle you are on, solving this crisis is paramount," he said in a statement. "Congress should be in session 24/7 until this issue is resolved, and I'll make sure we give them tools to take some naps on the Hill, but stay in session until this problem is resolved."

    Zippelli has not received a message from Pelosi on the mattresses.

    Zippelli's business is located in the congressional district of Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD), who could now reward Classic Sleep Products with an exclusive Congressional contract in an earmark spending bill.

    But this is unlikely since it wouldn't sit well with Republican presidential nominee John McCain, who famously opposes any political pork that doesn't result in him scoring with a lobbyist.


    Tags: Economy, Eliot Spitzer, House of Representatives, John McCain, Senate
  • (Secret Shadow) Family Values

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    Washington is no different from Hollywood — it's full of famous names, ruthless backstabbers, and gossip bloggers willing to grossly exaggerate any anecdote to boost their readership. As former United States Senate Pages, Dylan and Ethan Ris were privy to backroom dealings, power grabs, and scandals that would make even Eliot Spitzer blush. Join the Pages as they get the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    This Week’s Politician in Trouble! The Pages are organizing a candlelight vigil for embattled U.S. Representative Vito Fossella (R-NY), who is facing a host of accusations including drunk driving and lying to a police officer. Also something about fathering a child with a common-law wife in Arlington, Virginia.

    This one hits home for the Pages, because the square-jawed Congressman from Staten Island was a father figure to us during our time on Capitol Hill, always happy to dole out kindly words of wisdom or a piggyback ride. We say a man of his paternal caliber shouldn’t be wasted on one measly family!

    And yet some meanies in Washington are demanding that Uncle Vito resign because of the allegations, or at the very least hold a tearful press conference where he admits to being gay. Fortunately fellow Rep. Peter King (R-NY) is coming to Vito's defense by pointing out that Fossella is a "good guy who's made a mistake" and should be allowed to stay in office as long as he wants.

    Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer disagrees, noting that many business opportunities will await Fossella if he leaves politics. Spitzer, after all, is the star of Fox's upcoming smash "Who Wants to Have Anonymous, Rough Sex with a Governor?"

    Vito’s post-political career, by contrast, hinges upon the demand for Ray Liotta stand-ins at mini-mall openings, but he could use any downtime to lay the groundwork for families three, four and five!


    Tags: Congressional Confidential, Eliot Spitzer, Peter King, Vito Fossella
  • Hillary Clinton Now Destroying Other People's Countries, Too

    A quick cross-cultural note before I continue: in Brit-speak "No. 10" is not shorthand for "Eliot Spitzer's brother," as I first thought.

    Turns out No. 10 Downing Street is the British version of the White House, where the British version of the president lives or works or messes with interns or bangers and mash or whatever.

    And today No. 10 is embroiled in an international scandal, and it's all Hillary Clinton's fault!

    A deeply embarrassed [Prime Minister] Gordon Brown today found himself being wrongly lauded by Hillary Clinton for "boycotting" the Beijing Olympics.

    To the fury of No. 10, his decision to miss the rituals that will start the 2008 Games was being reported around the world as a snub to China.

    Downing Street desperately tried to douse the story by pointing out that it had been saying for months that the Prime Minister would only attend the closing ceremony, where the torch will be symbolically passed from Beijing to London 2012.

    See, Hillary has been going around praising Brown for his decision to skip the opening ceremonies, and the media has been all "Oooh, Hillary's pal Gordon is totally giving China the proverbial finger here, just like she wanted him to," and now the British government is trying to explain that really, Brown never intended to go to the ceremonies, but it was just some kind of scheduling issue, not a self-aggrandizing symbolic statement.

    An aghast Downing Street desperately put out the message that there was no boycott and no snub…

    It suggested that No. 10 had been cack-handed for allowing the confusion.

    Okay, I have no idea what that last part means. But I am pretty sure it's still Hillary's fault.


    Tags: China, Eliot Spitzer, Gordon Brown, Hillary Clinton, Olympics, United Kingdom