Federal Reserve Ignores GOP Legislators' Request to Let America Suck It

Earlier today, top Senate and House Republicans sent an heartfelt earnest plea to Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke to please please please consider doing absolutely nothing to boost the U.S. economy or make any attempt to do anything that might accidentally foster job growth…

Even though the financial markets have been counting on the Federal Reserve to take action, Republican Congressional leadership sent a letter to the Federal Reserve chairman on Tuesday evening urging it not to engage in further stimulus…

"We have serious concerns that further intervention by the Federal Reserve could exacerbate current problems or further harm the U.S. economy," said the letter, signed by four of the top Republicans in Congress: Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Senate Republican leader; Jon Kyl of Arizona, the Senate Republican whip; House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio and House Majority Leader Eric Cantor of Virginia.

It's a really inspiring letter. I strongly recommend reading the whole thing. I'm pretty sure that school children will be memorizing it instead of the Gettysburg Address in future generations.

But, you know, that Bernanke guy's a well known treasonist, and you just can't argue with those people. So, he went ahead and announced that the Fed would be buying $400 billion in bonds and selling as much in debt. Which, I'm assuming means something to somebody because stuff happened…

The dollar rebounded against the euro and other major currencies Wednesday after the U.S. Federal Reserve announced new plans to help boost the American economy.

The central bank said it will buy long-term Treasurys and sell short-term securities to help spur growth. The plan could lower rates for mortgages as well as those for consumer and business loans. The plan was expected by investors.

Well, that sounds good so far, but it's still waaaaay to early to tell. Hopefully — and I know we're all really pulling for this — there won't be any significant long term economic or employment benefits to Bernanke's plan.

Nothing aggravates an already dismal national mood more so than having to wake up early on a Monday morning and go to work. Ugh!

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Ben Bernanke, Eric Cantor, Federal Reserve, House of Representatives, John Boehner, Jon Kyl, Mitch McConnell, Republicans, Senate, Stimulus, Unemployment

Jon Stewart on Barack Obama's Jobs Bill Plan

Oh, right! Barack Obama's jobs plan. Yeah, yeah… that big speech he made last week with all the standing and the clapping. Are we still doing that?

Coverage continues after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Economy, Eric Cantor, House of Representatives, John McCain, Jon Stewart, Mitch McConnell, Republicans, The Daily Show, Unemployment, Video

Quote Unquote: Eric Cantor Responds

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's response to Barack Obama's jobs speech…

"This is my objection to the message that was delivered tonight. The message was: Either accept my package as it is, or I will take it to the American people. I would say that that's the wrong approach."

Yeah, seriously. Let's just keep the American people out of this.

Tags: Barack Obama, Eric Cantor, House of Representatives, Quote Unquote, Unemployment

From the Pork Barrel: Meeting with the Bosses

* John Boehner, Eric Cantor want pre-jobs speech meeting with President, presumably to brief him on what he's allowed to say.

* Mitt Romney announces jobs plan guaranteed to add 11.5 million new chambermaid, gardener, personal chef, valet and chauffeur positions to work force over a four-year period.

* Teamster President James Hoffa refuses to for-real apologize for make-believe offensive comment.

* Why is there a Department of Education? Michele Bachmann asks, is answer to.

* Breaking news: Shadowy billionaires hold clandestine summit for secretive moneyed conservative donors, crack joke about Obama.

Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Koch, David Koch, Eric Cantor, House of Representatives, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans

Eric Cantor Holds Hurricane Relief Hostage to Budget Cuts

If you're among the millions of Americans picking through debris strewn yards, pumping out the basement, and recovering from the umpteenth game of Yahtzee with your in-laws, Eric Cantor has a message of hope.

He'll give FEMA its precious disaster recovery funds, just as soon as Congress agrees to cut spending on whatever nonsense, like grants to first responders, the federal government is paying for these days…

Speaking on Fox News Channel, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor said a natural disaster like Hurricane Irene is an "appropriate instance" for a federal role, but that the government can't go deeper into debt to pay for unexpected outlays.

"We will find the money if there is a need for additional monies," he said. But "those monies are not unlimited. And what we've always said is, we've offset that which has already been funded."

Cantor equated the situation to what an ordinary family would do in a crisis, doing without a new car to pay for the needs of a sick loved one, for instance.

Whatever, there's no hurry; hurricane victims are just going to blow the money on replacing spoiled food and finding shelter.

Besides, Cantor is right. This is exactly how families are supposed to manage emergencies. When your car breaks down, do you pay the mechanic with your credit card, like some kind of profligate socialist, so you can drive to work the next day? No! You stop feeding your children for a week or two and save that money until you can pay the repair bill, like a Real American.

I hear your objections. "Government isn't like a family," you say, "My family isn't allowed to print its own money or borrow money at negative real interest rates." Perhaps you're not convinced by Cantor's logic because you're not an expert in disaster management like former Bush FEMA Director Michael Brown, who endorses the Cantor plan…

If you're trying to institute a new paradigm in the field of federal disaster relief, you could use a better ally than former FEMA Director Michael Brown, better known to most of you as "Heckuva Job" Brownie.

He's the former International Arabian Horse Association Commissioner and the guy many blame for bungling the federal response to Hurricane Katrina in 2005. He's also the first high-profile person in with experience in the field of disaster management to back the new GOP requirement that federal disaster aid be offset with federal spending cuts.

I can't imagine how anything could go wrong.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Eric Cantor, FEMA, House of Representatives, Michael Brown, Natural Disasters, Republicans