On last night's Daily Show, to explain Congress's endless cycle of hypocrisy, Wyatt Cenac brought out Mick Foley, who demonstrated that Washington politicians are really no different from pro wrestlers. Now, that might be true to a degree, but I don't know if it's an entirely fair comparison. After all, who would you rather have babysit your kids, Triple H or Joe Lieberman? Also, wrestlers know how to use makeup in moderation.
Mick Foley's last appearance on the show can be found below.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: David Vitter, Eric Massa, House of Representatives, John Boehner, John Ensign, Jon Stewart, Larry Craig, Mick Foley, Nancy Pelosi, Senate, The Daily Show, Video, Wrestling, Wyatt Cenac
Don't you hate it when you sit down with a guy who you think is all set to blow the lid off one of the most corrupt political organizations in modern history, and then it turns out he just wants to blow?
Stephen Colbert probes this important issue after the jump…
Tags: Eric Massa, Fox, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Jon Stewart, Rahm Emanuel, Scandalgate, Sex, Tea Party, The Daily Show, Video, William Kristol
We've covered plenty of outlandish moments on this website — sexcapades, scandalgates, Sarah Palin interviews — but, honestly, this Eric Massa situation is just getting weirder and weirder, and squirm-inducing-er and squirm-inducing-er, and I'm starting to think that tomorrow Massa will rip off his face and reveal himself to be Conan O'Brien playing a giant stunt, because surely Coco's bored with Twitter by now.
Here are the latest cringe-y revelations, btw…
According to Peter Clarke, a Navy shipmate, Massa was notorious for making unwanted advances toward subordinates. He tells the story of his friend Stuart Borsch, with whom Massa shared a hotel room while on leave during the first Gulf War. "Stuart's at the edge of the bed," Clarke says Borsch told him at the time, "and [Massa] starts massaging him. Massa said, 'You'll have to get one of my special massages.' He called them 'Massa Massages.'" Ron Moss, a Navy shipmate and Borsch's roommate, confirmed that Borsch told him this story at the time.
Clarke says that Massa's roommate, Tom Maxfield, was also assaulted. "Tom lived on upper bunk," Clarke say. "When you're on ship, you're almost exhausted 24-7. So a lot of times you sleep with your uniform on. Tom and Massa shared a stateroom together. Massa climbed up on the top of his bunk, which is hard to do–you never crawl up on somebody else's bunk. He wakes up to Massa undoing his pants trying to snorkel him."
No idea what that means. Oh please oh please let "snorkel" be Navy slang for "awaken." Or maybe it's, um, actual snorkeling? They're on a ship, right? In the water? Where people snorkel?
Or not. Augh! Now I know, and there's no unknowing.
Well, I have to give Massa points for one thing: he's certainly advancing sex education in America. And hey, it's not like he's the target of an ethics investigation.
Tags: Eric Massa, Military, Scandalgate, Sex
Eric Massa (D-Nowhere, now) blathered to Glenn Beck about his persecution for an hour yesterday, which means today we must spend multiple hours reviewing that hour and all its juicy tidbits, of which there are plenty…
In the interview with Mr. Beck, Mr. Massa acknowledged exercising poor judgment in his interactions with his staff on another occasion. He recalled tickling an aide during a birthday party in a townhouse he shared with five of his staff members.
"Now they are saying I groped a male staffer," he told Mr. Beck. "Yeah I did. Not only did I grope him. I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. It was kill the old guy. You can take anything out of context."
Where in the Constitution does it say a member of Congress cannot grope and tickle his own staffers until they suffocate? What provision in the Constitution could you point to?
Tags: Democrats, Eric Massa, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives
It is a national tragedy that Eric Massa has resigned from Congress, because the man is a veritable wealth of commentary that begs to be Command+C/Command+V'd* on every website in the world.
Massa's latest line is that Democrats, including Rahm Emanuel (whom Massa calls "the son of the devil's spawn"), forced him to resign because they knew he was a no vote on health care legislation. Parliamentary rules are complex, but is it really possible that the entire bill hinges on one freshman representative from New York? Who knows? All I know is, one time naked Rahm Emanuel yelled at naked Eric Massa in the shower, while they were both naked…
Massa said Emanuel came up to him last year, shortly after he entered Congress, while he was trying to clean up to give him grief about a budget vote.
"I'm sitting there showering, naked as a jaybird, [Ed. note: He showers sitting down? Is this common in men's locker rooms?] and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me because I wasn't gonna vote for the president's budget," Massa said. "Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man? … It's ridiculous."
He continued, "By the way, what the heck is he doing in the congressional gym? He goes there to intimidate members of Congress."
Whether any of this is true or not it certainly makes for good reading, so from an entertainment standpoint it's too bad Massa won't have a platform from which to spout his colorful opinions/conspiracy theor-
Right. Never mind.
* Or CTRL+whatever, if you're a PC.
Tags: Democrats, Eric Massa, Glenn Beck, Health Care, Rahm Emanuel