Stephen Colbert on Chick-fil-A's Anti-Gay Marriage Stance

"No surprise that Chick-fil-A supports traditional marriage, unlike KFC's Double Down. Two chicken breasts rubbing up against each other? That is nothing but a lesbian fantasy snack." – Stephen Colbert

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Chick-fil-A, Christianity, Corporations, Facebook, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Mike Huckabee, Religion, Rick Santorum, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Twitter, Video

Our Endorsements: The Fool on the Hill

* Mitt Romney's "Magical Underwear Tour" is waiting to take you away to The Hamptons.

* Hillary Clinton like you've never seen her before.

* Funny or Die's Ronna and Beverly talk to Veep actor Matt Walsh.

* The Washington Monument gets set up with some uppity French building, from The Onion.

* Obama and Romney as teenagers on facebook, from College Humor.

Tags: Barack Obama, Beatles, Daily Links, Facebook, France, HBO, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney, vice president, Washington Monument

Our Endorsements: The President's Summer Jam

* President Obama sings "Call Me Maybe." (Spoiler alert: It's a little pitchy).

* Key & Peele meet President Obama and lose their sh*t.

* American Voices consider Herman Cain's new radio show.

* Comedian Jamie Kilstein wants to fight National Review's Jonah Goldberg.

* Coming up on your local news, will Funny or Die's coverage of gas prices kill you with laughter?

* Speaking of gas, David Crowe talks about his addiction to petroleum.

* A prospectus for Silicon Valley's next must-have IPO, from McSweeney's.

Tags: Barack Obama, Daily Links, Energy & Oil, Facebook, Funny or Die, Herman Cain, Key & Peele, National Review, Socialism, The Onion

Tweet Untweet: Babies Making Status Updates

I have a parenting decision to make but it's something Bristol Palin hasn't addressed on her Facebook page.What do I do?

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) May 27, 2012

Tags: Bristol Palin, Facebook, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

We Must Protect Our Expatriate Billionaire Tax-Dodgers!

If there's one thing that's ruining America, it's the lack of freedom afforded to our job-creating billionaires seeking to renounce their U.S. citizenship so as to avoid paying taxes.

These people are true American heroes, and any attempt to stymie their noble efforts to horde money is clearly an act of anti-patriotic menace so heinous it can only be compared to… compared to…

Well, I'll let Grover Norquist explain…

Norquist, the president of Americans for Tax Reform, said the targeting people that turn in their passports reminded him of regimes that had driven people out of the country, only to confiscate their wealth at the door.

"I think Schumer can probably find the legislation to do this. It existed in Germany in the 1930s and Rhodesia in the ’70s and in South Africa as well," said Norquist. "He probably just plagiarized it and translated it from the original German."

The Nazis infamously implemented a departure tax on Jews who tried to flee Germany before World War II. Schumer is Jewish.

Well put! I'll bet Grover Norquist got an A+ in Comparison class back in school.

And it's only more chilling a comparison when you consider the awful inhuman yoke of subjugation under which that U.S. billionaires are forced to live in the Democratic regime. Can you imagine the grim specter of being forced to cycle money back into the economy? I get physically ill at the very thought of it.

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Related: Quote Unquote: Impeaching Obama

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Facebook, Grover Norquist, Money, Taxes