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Faisal Shahzad
  • Pakistani Political Discourse Marred by Mindless, Speculative 24-Hour News Cycle

    Oh, man! Sucks to be you, Pakistan!

    Eight years ago Pakistan had one television news channel. Now there are 26 news channels, half of which broadcast 24 hours a day. But most of what is on offer hardly qualifies as rigorous, fact-based news. Rather, shows follow a familiar formula of a roundtable discussion by middle-aged men hashing out political conspiracies…

    Media critics here say the problem lies with a lack of experienced reporters, and a lack of investment in investigative journalism, which has created a troubling tilt toward right-wing, highly opinionated talk shows. After all, talk shows are cheaper to produce, and easier to make.

    No wonder everyone in Pakistan is so jealous of all us here in Hannity's America.

    (By the way, you really should watch the video.)


    Tags: Faisal Shahzad, Hillary Clinton, Pakistan, Television, Terrorism
  • Jon Stewart: Sh*t Is Flying Everywhere!

    On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out that shit is basically out of control all over the entire world. The Gulf Coast is soaked in oil, Nashville is under water, Greece is about to collapse, the Dow went on a rollercoaster and some numbnuts tried to blow up Times Square. And that's just a few of the crazy things that have happened in only the last week. I knew it was a mistake to built Earth on that old Indian burial ground!



    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.


    Tags: CNN, Economy, Energy & Oil, Faisal Shahzad, Family Research Council, George Rekers, Greece, IRS, Jon Stewart, Natural Disasters, Republicans, Rick Sanchez, Terrorism, The Daily Show, Video, Wall Street
  • Happy National Day of Prayer, America!

    Good for you, followers of the adherents of the Abrahamic faiths! It's so heartening to see you still going strong after these past couple of months, which, quite frankly, must have been pretty rough on you. What with the institutionalized child rape, attempted mass murder plots and now growing evidence that the Times Square car-bomber may be an operative from one of your fundamentalist groups

    Officials said that after two days of intense questioning of the bombing suspect, Faisal Shahzad, evidence was mounting that the group, the Pakistani Taliban, had helped inspire and train Mr. Shahzad in the months before he is alleged to have parked an explosives-filled sport utility vehicle in a busy Manhattan intersection on Saturday night. Officials said Mr. Shahzad had discussed his contacts with the group, and investigators had accumulated other evidence that they would not disclose.

    So, it's nice to see that you are moving on unfettered with your National Day of Prayer, the one day of the year… when people pray? Or something? I don't know. I personally don't have the moral fortitude to participate in "this magnificent day"…

    The 59th annual National Day of Prayer was held Thursday against a backdrop of controversy and growing doubts about the future of the event, which a federal judge recently declared unconstitutional…

    "America was birthed in prayer and founded on the God of the Bible, on his biblical principles and on his moral values," Day of Prayer organizer Shirley Dobson said. Dobson blamed the controversy on a "small band of self-proclaimed atheists and agnostics" determined to "take down this magnificent day." Dobson is married to Focus on the Family [Ed note: which you may remember from here] founder James Dobson…

    If America is going to pray today, I only ask that it pray for a better future when religious groups like the ones mentioned above can practice their faith in peace, without having to worry about persecution from "small band[s] of self-proclaimed atheists and agnostics" like this guy.

    Because, really, we're counting on these people to provide us with our "principles and… moral values."


    Tags: Bill of Rights, Catholic Church, Christianity, Constitution, Faisal Shahzad, Focus On the Family, Hutaree, Islam, James Dobson, Jewish, Pope Benedict XVI, Religion, Sex, Terrorism
  • Joe Lieberman Has a Great Idea for Stripping U.S. Citizenship from People Suspected of Stuff

    Okay, so Joe Lieberman — like his friend John McCain — is apparently upset that Faisal Shahzad had to have his Miranda Rights read to him by the FBI. So, what's a hawkish Democratic senator to do? How about come up with a brilliant plan to strip terrorists of U.S. citizenship so that Miranda Rights would no longer be required.

    Try as I might, I can't possibly think of any glaringly obvious problems with this plan…

    Lieberman is planning to introduce a bill that would allow the government to revoke the citizenship of an American who joins a foreign terrorist organization, the Hill reports. The proposed legislation would amend current law that strips a person's citizenship if they fight with a foreign army.

    "I think it's time for us to look at whether we want to amend that law to apply it to American citizens who choose to become affiliated with foreign terrorist organizations, whether they should not also be deprived automatically of their citizenship and therefore be deprived of rights that come with that citizenship when they are apprehended and charged with a terrorist act," Lieberman, head of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee, said on Fox News.

    "…said on Fox News." No surprises there. Where else would he say it? The bowels of Hell? They only tape on weekends.

    Anyway, I suppose that, in theory, I'm not opposed to this plan. (I have this tendency to lose sympathy for people who try to kill hundreds of innocent civilians.) However, aren't Miranda Rights traditionally read to people suspected of a crime? I'm not a hundred percent sure, because I've only seen them read aloud in a million different movies and TV shows, but I don't think they're read to people who have already been convicted. (Those people, I'm pretty sure, just get butt-raped by neo-Nazis and that guy from Law & Order.)

    So, if this law were to work the way that Lieberman seems to want it to work, you could effectively strip a U.S. citizen of his or her citizenship simply by accusing them of being a conspiring terrorist.

    I don't know why the idea of this gives me pause. Situations like this generally tend to not ever, ever be abused.


    Tags: Bill of Rights, Constitution, Faisal Shahzad, Joe Lieberman, Senate, Terrorism
  • Jon Stewart: Glenn Beck Is More Reasonable than John McCain

    If you had told me ten years ago that Glenn Beck would have a more reasonable position on Miranda rights than John McCain, I would have said, "Who's Glenn Beck. Hey, you wanna come over and play Sega Dreamcast, download music on Napster and talk about how George Harrison is still alive?" And yet here we are. What a difference a decade makes.

    Stephen Colbert's take on the arrest of the Faisal Shahzad can be found below.

    The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

    Read More »


    Tags: Bill of Rights, Faisal Shahzad, Fox, Glenn Beck, John McCain, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Terrorism, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Video