Friday's Links: Colbert and Fallon Tickle the Ivories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6qaHBzn9U3M

* Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon, living in perfect harmony.

* Politicians just don't understand poor people.

* Abraham Lincoln gets dolled up for the Oscars.

* From last month's comedy issue, but in case you slept on it: Vanity Fair profiled the incomparable Tig Notaro.

* Here is a picture of President President Obama hanging with Wilco.

* The worst football stadiums named by corporate sponsors.

* Celebrate Purim with four hilarious stories fron Vox Tablet.

Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Daily Links, FBI, Jewish, Jimmy Fallon, Poverty, Stephen Colbert, Tig Notaro

Special Agent Johnson Will Sext You Now

According to internal reports, the FBI has been competing with the Secret Service for title of most embarrassing law enforcement agency.

The reports catalog all sorts of naughty behavior: nude photos sent to coworkers, bugging the boss's office, dating a known drug dealer and a "lot of sexting" on government-issued BlackBerries.

Alas, we will never know the content of these sexy sexts, because of silly "privacy regulations." It's safe to assume they probably went something like this:

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Tags: FBI, Sex

Tweet Roundup: Pimp My Petraeus

This Petraeus scandal is becoming a real "Who-done-her"

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 13, 2012

This could be the first time in hundreds of years that two generals have crossed swords.

— Brendan McLaughlin (@btmclaughlin) November 13, 2012

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Tags: CIA, David Petraeus, FBI, Lizz Winstead

Tweet Untweet: Covert Operations

It seems that David Petraeus should've worked for the FBI. You know, as a Female Body Inspector.

— David Clifford (@cliffoda) November 12, 2012

Tags: CIA, David Petraeus, FBI, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

Nudist Lobby Bares Support for Skinny-Dipping Congressman

Rather than capping off their Birthright experience with awkward sexual advances like good Jewish teens, Republican congressmen on a fact-finding trip to Israel tea-bagged the Sea of Galilee, finding the fact that this will get them reprimanded by Republican leaders and ridiculed by the media. Rep. Kevin Yoder received the most criticism for his decision to baptize his balls in the lake.

As it turns out, the subsequent FBI probe of the junket wasn't due to skinny dipping, but related to the investigation of another congressman for failure to properly file paperwork disclosing another foreign trip, explaining why no one interviewed Yoder's bare staff.

Now, the American Association for Nude Recreation, a group "serving more than 52 million individuals who enjoy skinny-dipping and clothing optional recreation throughout North America" also known as "nakationing," has come to Yoder's defense.

According to an AANR press release[pdf]/answer to the question of "What do Herman Melville and George W. Bush have in common?," Yoder joins the illustrious ranks of John Quincy Adams, Teddy Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Benjamin Franklin, Walt Whitman, Mark Twain, Norman Rockwell and the aforementioned Bush and Melville in letting their Moby Dicks soak in the cool evening water…

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Tags: FBI, House of Representatives, Israel, Kevin Yoder, Nudity