The Bad News: Federal Peeping Toms, Cruel Irony and Dead Horses

Feds Peep Suspicious, Underage Hotties: The FBI is has eyes everywhere. Specifically, two members of the Bureau who were secretly taping teenage girls undressing and trying on prom dresses at a mall. Big Brother is watching, licking his lips. [newser.com]

Two Buses Send Man Into Wheelchair, Then Grave: A man who had recently been hit by a bus and confined to a motorized wheelchair, was hit by a bus and killed.  Ironic, yes. But moreso, just ridiculously tragic. [philly.com]

Mystery Plague Kills 21 Horses: An unknown illness swept through a stable of polo horses, killing an unbelievable 21 of the animals, whose collective worth was valued at $2 million.  [sun-sentinel.com]

Stupid Prank Backfires Horribly, Hilariously: A man pretends to fall off a bridge, and in the process, accidentally falls of a bridge. The man is alive, possibly repeating the word "Dude," unaware of Darwin's various theories.  Sadly, there is no YouTube clip. [twincities.com]

Tags: FBI, Great News/Bad News

Alaskan Congressman Don Young Gets Off Way Too Easily

Lost in the frenzy of news coming out of Alaska — namely that Ted Stevens lost and Sarah Palin is getting a better agent than Joe the Plumber– was the confirmation that the state's lone Congressman, Don Young (R), will be back for a 19th term…

The winner of the race for Alaska's sole House seat wasn't really in doubt after Election Day, when longtime incumbent Rep. Don Young led Democratic challenger Ethan Berkowitz by more than 16,000 votes.

It still took Berkowitz until Tuesday afternoon, with the counting of nearly all the outstanding ballots, to concede defeat to Republican Young…

Pollsters had counted Young out but they were wrong.

Wonder why those pollsters were so down on Don Young?

Could it have anything to do with the fact that…

* He's raised/spent over $1 million in legal fees amid charges that he's tied up with the same oil company that Ted Stevens has been feloniously porking.

* He used his jurisdiction as Alaska Congressman to steer $10 million to a fundraiser's construction project in Florida.

* If he were any more tied to Jack Abramoff, he'd own an Indian casino.

* Even the Club for Growth campaigned against him.

* He swung a walrus penis bone at the former U.S. Fish and Wildlife director.

* His wife is a tyrannical, computer-hating, pumpkin seed-devouring bitch.

The list goes on, but I should probably let the FBI conclude their investigation against Young before commenting any further.

Needless to say, if the G-Men decide to proceed with an arrest, they won't have a hard time finding Young.

Whether they come searching tomorrow, next year or in 2022, he'll be in his Capitol Hill office — right where the people of Alaska want him.

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Tags: Alaska, Don Young, FBI, House of Representatives, Jack Abramoff, Sarah Palin, Ted Stevens

Countdown to Electiony: 87 Days

Remember David Koresh and the Branch Davidian splinter sect the Seventh-Day Adventist Church in Waco, Texas back in the 90's? You know, the one that was living in a commune and practicing a lot of weird sexual exchange relationships and talking about the coming Apocalypse. What ever happened to them?

Oh, that's right: They found their Apocalypse. Or, at any rate, it was handed to them at the end of a 51-day siege on by ATF and FBI agents, when a ranging fire consumed their compound, resulting in 87 deaths (including Koresh).

Just more proof that our federal government knows what it's doing when it comes to taking care of long-haired hippy freaks. Always has.

Go back to Day 88.

Tags: ATF, Election Countdown, FBI, Texas