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Our Endorsements: The Queen of Green
* Roseanne Barr announced her presidential bid last night on The Tonight Show, from LaughSpin.
* E. B. White's 1951 letter to the ASPCA about the dog tax.
* National Lampoon details Newt Gingrich's lesser-known marriages.
* HuffPo Comedy thought of 10 things more inconsequential than a Trump endorsement.
* What Gingrich regrets not doing in Florida, from The Onion.
Tags: Dan Quayle, Donald Trump, Florida, Green Party, Jay Leno, National Lampoon, Newt Gingrich, Our Endorsements, Roseanne Barr, The Onion -
This Week's Top Five Hot State Legislative Actions
Federalism is among America' s most fundamental practices. Unfortunately, when someone says "leave it to the states," it means we have to leave it to these states…1. A New Hampshire bill that would have required all new legislation addressing individual rights to quote its authority from the Magna Carta was killed in committee by an 11-1 vote, leaving residents bereft of regulatory reforms based on dictates such as, "If a man dies owing money to Jews, his wife may have her dower and pay nothing towards the debt from it." Should have gone with the Code of Hammurabi or just mandate that all legislation be drafted using only the letters R-O-N-A-L-D R-E-A-G-A-N.
2. Creeping Sharia, which also happens to be the name of my favorite garden vine, is crawling into South Dakota where the state Senate Judiciary Committee voted 5-2 against a bill to regulate the use of foreign law in South Dakota courts.
3. The Virginia legislature is set to repeal a 19-year-old state law that forced residents into dangerous, illicit, back-alley gun purchases by preventing residents from purchasing more than one handgun a month. They also defended the 2nd Amendment right to carelessly leave guns in any damn place…
Tags: Education, Florida, Guns, LGBT, Marriage, Marriage Equality, New Hampshire, Religion, South Dakota, State Legislature, States' Rights, Virginia, Washington -
Some of Mitt Romney's Delegates Are Belong to Newt
On Tuesday night, Mitt Romney picked up 50 delegates, while Newt Gingrich picked up zero, which seems unfair. Because Newt Gingrich is Newt Gingrich and he wanted some of those delegates. He wanted them, and he is Newt Gingrich. So, you know, this needs to happen.Or we will all pay…
Newt Gingrich's campaign said Thursday they were requesting the Republican National Committee award delegates from Florida based on a proportion of the vote rather than allocating all of the state's delegates to Mitt Romney, who won Tuesday's primary…
Under RNC rules, Florida was stripped of half its delegates when it moved up its primary date to January 31, early in the nominating calendar. The RNC also stipulates any state holding a primary before April 1 must allocate delegates proportionally, rather than a winner-take-all scenario.
Makes perfect sense, right? Newt Gingrich gets some delegates like he wanted. Everybody wins, right? Totally right! Except actually wrong…
Florida is already in violation of RNC rules because it moved its primary into January. And the RNC, which has already docked Florida half of its delegates for moving its primary up, says it cannot punish a state twice. Therefore, the states that are already in violation of RNC rules for setting their primaries too early (Florida, Arizona and Michigan) were allowed to go winner-take-all.
Okay, Newt doesn't actually get any of those delegates.
But what he does get is the opportunity to spend the next seven months complaining about how persecuted he is for not getting those delegates. So, again, everybody wins!
Except for everybody.
Except for Newt.
Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Florida, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, RNC -
The Daily Show on Mitt Romney's Big Win in Florida
I think we all learned something very valuable on Tuesday. If a bunch of elderly Jews, rollerblading gay dudes and crocodile-wrestling mulleteers can put aside their differences and settle for the tasteless inevitability of Mitt Romney, I think we all can.
Coverage continues with Jason Jones and John Oliver on the very rich and the very poor after the jump.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: Florida, Jason Jones, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Poverty, Primaries, Republicans, The Daily Show, Video -
Our Endorsements: Rick Santorum Knows a Few Asian Guys
* Bad Lip Reading finally adds Rick Santorum to its pantheon.
* Via Buzzfeed, Twitter suggestions for Romney's Secret Service nickname.
* Funny or Die makes Gingrich's moon plans seem almost, well, sweet.
* In Florida, Romney also outspent Gingrich on gettin' crunk till the break of dawn.
* "Eye of the Tiger" is out for Newt, but here are some other options, from HuffPo Comedy.
* President Obama's Google+ Hangout sesh gets a surprise guest, from Conan O'Brien.
Tags: Barack Obama, Conan O'Brien, Florida, Funny or Die, Google, Huffington Post, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Our Endorsements, Primaries, Rick Santorum, Secret Service, The Onion, Twitter
