Petitioners Demand Ron Paul Meeting, Death Star Construction

It's been a while since we checked in on the civic-minded Americans who have flooded the White House "We the People" website with petitions to "punch Grover Norquist in the dick" or demand secession for the states in the wake of Barack Obama's re-election. The demand for a redress of grievances has not abated. Here are some of the best–not smartest, not most sensical, just best–recent petitions.

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How to Make a Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich

As Ilya reported earlier, Sad Mitt Romney has been wandering around his home(s), probably on the brink of starvation because "There's no aide to make his peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches."

Which begs the question, does Mitt Romney even know how to make peanut butter and honey sandwiches?

In case he doesn't, here's our favorite recipe. Feel free to forward it to him!

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Conservatives Blame Obama for Taking Away Twinkies

On hearing the news that Hostess Brands Inc., the maker of Twinkies and Wonder Bread, is shutting down operations — ostensibly due to an inability to resolve a bakers' strike — many Americans waxed nostalgic about pastries they hadn't eaten in years. Which may hint at the real reason why the business went down.

But more than a few Americans are directing their ire at something other than the free market…

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Hey Look, It's a Donklephant Cake

Fun fact: Indecision's official mascot (and our avatar @indecision) is the donklephant, a donkey-elephant hybrid that represents our mission as equal-opportunity comedymongers.

Tonight, while the Indecision team is holed up at HQ covering Election Day 2012, many of our friends, colleagues and accomplices are gathered at a viewing event uptown. And the folks at CityCakes made this amazing donklephant cake for the occasion.

(It's red velvet.)

(Save us some!)

Previously
5 Wacky Ways to Learn Who Won the Election
Those Who Won't Be President, We Salute You

OhioWatch 2012: Parsing the Jello

BREAKING: According to the Archbold Buckeye, students at the Four County School are being served "red fruited Jello" today.

Not blue fruited Jello.

Developing…