27% of Americans Think God Has Nothing Better to Do Than Decide the Super Bowl

Ask the three people nearest you if they think God is responsible for determining the winner of the Super Bowl this Sunday.

If they answer in the negative, statistically speaking, you are the doofus who believes God has a surprisingly lax schedule:

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Guide to the Silliest Super Bowl Bets

Americans are rabid sports fans, and if the books of Vegas odds-makers are any indicator, we are also degenerate gamblers. Forget who wins the game–every single aspect of the Super Bowl is available to be bet on.

Here's a look at some of the oddest culled from the full list of Super Bowl XLVII prop bets:

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Modern-Day Gladiator Not Cool with Gay Discrimination

It pains Fox News to report on this, but…

For Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo and his quest to promote gay marriage, there's no bigger stage than Super Bowl XLVII.

You've got to admire the guy. It's not every football player who can stand up for a group that's historically been subjected to extreme, completely unjustified acts of violence simply because such violence is culturally acceptable due to a deeply-felt sense of tradition.

Irony rules.

Photo by Donald Miralle – Stringer/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

How to Convince Your Friends You're Not a Manti Te'o

Deadspin's reporting on the life and death of Lennay Kekua, the girlfriend of Notre Dame star Manti Te'o, revealed some interesting facts. Namely, that she's not dead, wasn't Te'o's girlfriend and has never existed. The two did not meet in Hawaii. They did not speak to each other every night on the telephone. Kekua did not suffer a car accident in California, nor did she die of leukemia.

In simpler times, this story never would have emerged and we'd have one less dead fictional girl on our consciences. Imaginary Kekua would live forever, just another my-girlfriend-who-lives-Canada who retreats to rural British Columbia whenever a boy works up the courage to ask a real girl out on a date.

But in today's world, this story has real victims. Think of all the people in actual long-distance relationships. How are they ever going to convince their friends and colleagues they're not pulling an elaborate Manti Te'o style hoax? With this guide, that's how.

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Scab NFL Referees Ignite Conservative Civil War

If you're unfamiliar with the outlines of the NFL farce that culminated in the "Inaccurate Reception" during last night's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers, here's a summary of how the sales team from your local Foot Locker came to officiate the most watched sport in America:

In a move that would make 19th century robber barons blush,  the NFL owners and Commissioner Roger Goodell decided to make the most profitable professional sports league slightly more profitable by gutting the pensions of the regular referees, locking them out until the union agreed to the demanded concessions. As it happens, the cost of accepting the referees's bargaining position comes to a very modest additional $100,000 per team per year, but NFL owners have never been willing to put a price tag on their desire to snuff out any whiff of unionism beneath the heel of the Job Creators.

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