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Foreign Policy
  • Romney Adviser: Obama Doesn't Appreciate "Anglo-Saxon Heritage"

    Just prior to Mitt Romney's arrival in London, one of his advisers has revealed the shocking secret that President Obama is a black guy, telling the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph that Romney would have a better grasp of the relationship between Britain and the United States because, "We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special. The White House didn't fully appreciate the shared history we have."

    The advisers spoke on the condition of anonymity because "Romney's campaign requested that they not criticise the President to foreign media" and also because even the dimmest surrogate must be embarrassed at having said "the special relationship is special," a tautology that is tautological.

    Since the advisers never explain how Romney's policy towards Britain would differ from Obama's, most have interpreted this remark as a racist "dogge hwistle," just a tad more subtle than a World Net Daily feature. But in an era when politicians are falling over themselves to warn about the dangers of Iran and China, it's nice that someone has the courage to stand up to the Jutes and the Frisians. Wait till the Romney administration is done with you, smug Danes, with your pickled herring and low Gini coefficient. I'm also looking forward to domestic policy improvements, such as a decline in incarceration rates when weregild replaces imprisonment.

    Alternatively, maybe this is part of a ploy to downplay Romney's Otherness. After all, the President's mother, Ann Dunham, descends from a "seventeenth-century Pilgrim settler who emigrated from England to America as one of the founding fathers of the colony of Plymouth, Massachusetts." Makes Romney's Mexican-Cyborg heritage seem all the more foreign.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Mitt Romney, Racism, United Kingdom
  • Barack Obama's June Gloom

    Barack Obama

    If May was gray for President Obama, June has been doom and gloom. After the slew of bad mojo last week, White House press secretary Jay Carney was thrown to the media dingos to answer some uncomfortable questions during Monday’s briefing

    The AP asked about the president’s unfortunate private-sector-is-fine remark. The Reuters correspondent asked about the economic "head winds" from Europe. Ed Henry of Fox News Channel asked about the looming contempt-of-Congress vote against Attorney General Eric Holder. Margaret Talev of Bloomberg News asked about the Supreme Court striking down Obamacare. Norah O'Donnell of CBS News asked about calls for a special prosecutor to probe leaks. Victoria Jones of Talk Radio News asked about the stalled talks with Pakistan.

    Carney sought relief by calling on TV correspondents from swing states, but the one from Wisconsin asked about the failed attempt to recall Republican Gov. Scott Walker and the one from Nevada asked about her state’s unemployment rate, the nation’s highest.

    Talk then headed back to commerce secretary John Bryson's hit-and-run felony citation, the only remotely feel-good story of the week. It turns out a medical condition and not "going Lohan" was to blame for Bryson's erratic driving.

    That was a close call, but maybe it's time for President Obama to put an ankle monitor on all his cabinet members. Keep everyone on lock down until November. Nobody wants to see a picture of David Axelrod climbing into his car after a night of clubbing with his thong showing. Also, no more Fast and Furious for Eric Holder.

    And, for God's sake, nobody let the economy take the Porsche out for a spin.

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Department of Justice, Economy, Eric Holder, Foreign Policy, Health Care, House of Representatives, John Bryson, Nevada, Pakistan, Recall, Scott Walker, Supreme Court, Unemployment, Wisconsin
  • Barack Obama Accused of Campaigning in Swing State of Afghanistan

    Barack ObamaSome political analysts argue the 2012 election will be settled by Angry White Men, the non-college educated, economically vulnerable males who have been voting for the Republican Party in increasing numbers. Others contend that Soccer Moms hold the key to either enlarging or mitigating the all important gender gap.

    But Senator James Inhofe knows the decisive slice of the electorate isn't Security Moms, Waitress Moms, Joe-Six Packs, or Left Handed Vegan Family Farmers, but Pashtun Dads

    "Clearly this trip is campaign-related," he said. "We've seen recently that President Obama has visited college campuses in an attempt to win back the support of that age group since he has lost it over the last three years. Similarly, this trip to Afghanistan is an attempt to shore up his national security credentials, because he has spent the past three years gutting our military."

    Okay, Inhofe's point isn't quite as daft as I made it out to be. Indeed, Barack Obama's Afghanistan speech, delivered from Bagram Airfield last night, was the first time a sitting U.S. President had addressed the American people from inside a war zone, and with the trip coming on the one year of anniversary of bin Laden's killing, it was difficult not to notice campaign overtones.

    But even though not quite as crass in politicizing national security as the Bush administration should be an easy threshold for Obama to clear, we shouldn't blame the president for taking his campaign to Bagram. After 9/11, we took a detour to Iraq. And after finding Osama in Pakistan, we're still roaming around Afghanistan. With this being emblematic of the state of American geography learning, do we really expect our leaders to find their way to swing states in the Midwest without getting lost in Central Asian and the Middle East?

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    Related: All of Obama's Official Trips Just So Happen to Be to Swing States

    Photo by Kevin Lamarque-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, James Inhofe
  • Mitt Romney's Foreign Policy Guy Forced to Quit Because of Gay

    Oh man, don't you just hate it when people try to tell you that being gay and being Republican somehow doesn't make a whole lot of sense? I mean, okay, sure, the party is currently being driven by a hardcore base of people who publicly despise your way of life and want to keep you from having the same rights as anyone else, but that doesn't mean you have to set yourself apart from those people, does it? No! Totally not!

    Like, what's to stop a homosexual fellow from advising a Republican presidential candidate on foreign policy matters completely unrelated to LGBT issues? Nothing! Case closed.

    In completely unrelated news, a foreign policy advisor to Mitt Romney was forced to resign because he is gay

    Richard Grenell, the openly gay spokesman recently hired to sharpen the foreign policy message of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign, has resigned in the wake of a full-court press by anti-gay conservatives.

    In a statement obtained by Right Turn, Grenell says: "I have decided to resign from the Romney campaign as the Foreign Policy and National Security Spokesman. While I welcomed the challenge to confront President Obama’s foreign policy failures and weak leadership on the world stage, my ability to speak clearly and forcefully on the issues has been greatly diminished by the hyper-partisan discussion of personal issues that sometimes comes from a presidential campaign."

    Now, some people may say that the first half of this post doesn't really fit in with the second half. But I say that's just a bunch of divisive liberal spin.

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    Related: Romney Staffer Loves Making Fun of People on Twitter

    Photo by Stephen Hilger/Bloomberg/Getty Images


    Tags: Conservatives, Foreign Policy, Homophobia, LGBT, Mitt Romney
  • Joe Biden Out-Bidens Himself with "Big Stick" Remark

    While some New York University students were disappointed to see Joe Biden speak at their school sans rat-tail and Trans Am, the Vice President definitely didn't disappoint in the gaffe department

    Speaking at a campaign event in New York on Thursday, Vice President Joe Biden attacked Mitt Romney over his foreign policy, and praised President Obama for his handling of foreign relations.

    "I promise you, the president has a big stick," Biden said, "I promise you."

    Biden was citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."

    Upon hearing Biden's suggestive "big stick" comment, the Internet promptly exploded. Daily Intel even compiled a photo gallery of President Obama holding actual big sticks.

    Strangely, there are no photos of Mitt Romney with a big stick. Well, except the one firmly planted up his ass.

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    Related: Osama bin Laden Sought to Cripple U.S. with Joe Biden Presidency

    Photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Education, Foreign Policy, Joe Biden, New York, Sex, vice president