Jon Stewart Declares War on Christmas

The Daily Show will now be joining Fox News's coalition of the willing and amassing its troops along the Yuletide border to bring down this heinous and festive enemy.

Coverage continues after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: Christianity, Christmas, Founding Fathers, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, Jon Stewart, Laura Ingraham, Lincoln Chafee, Music, Religion, Rhode Island, Steve Doocy, The Daily Show, Video, War on Christmas

Mitt Romney Says He Will Not Attend Donald Trump's Debate

Mitt Romney is definitively stating that he won't be attending Donald Trump's debate…

"No, I'm not participating in that," Romney said, when asked by [Fox News host] Cavuto. "We have two debates in December that I've agreed to participate in. The rest of the month is gonna be spent campaigning, doing the political work that you've got to do, to get the support of people in Iowa and New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida.

"So we'll be hitting the trail, I spoke with Donald Trump earlier today, indicated that we just can't make this debate, we're gonna focus on the other two we've got, and on some campaigning."

I suppose this means Mitt Romney will most likely be attending Donald Trump's debate.

Good for him.

Photo by Richard Ellis/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Debates, Donald Trump, Fox, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans

Fox News Unearths Communist Muppet Conspiracy

As the "Rainbow Connection" taught us, the Muppets have always been powerful exponents — puppets, if you will — of the gay agenda. But did you know they’re also vicious, godless communists?

Last week, on the network's "Follow the Money" program, host Eric Bolling went McCarthy on the new, Disney-released film, "The Muppets," insisting that its storyline featuring an evil oil baron made it the latest example of Hollywood's so-called liberal agenda.

Bolling, who took issue with the baron's name, Tex Richman, was joined by Dan Gainor of the conservative Media Research Center, who was uninhibited with his criticism.

"It's amazing how far the left will go just to manipulate your kids, to convince them, give the anti-corporate message," he said.

It’s about time someone brought this left-wing conspiracy to light. I mean, didn’t you ever wonder why these things are called Muppets? "Muppet" is clearly an abbreviation of "Marxist puppet."

As Friedrich Engels wrote, “Communism is the doctrine of the conditions of the liberation of the proletariat. Mahna Mahna. What is the proletariat? The proletariat is that class in society… whose sole existence depends on the demand for labor. Mahna Mahna.”

Liberals have tried to cover their tracks, but it's painfully obvious that the Muppets took Manhattan in order to gain control of the means of production and bring capitalism to its knees. The House should immediately resurrect its Un-American Activities Committee to probe congressmen for adorable songs, felt skin, and great capers.

Tags: Communism, Corporations, Energy & Oil, Fox, The Muppets

Jon Stewart on Mitt Romney's Anti-Mitt Romney Campaign Strategy

If Mitt Romney really wants to distance himself from Mitt Romney, he should consider changing his name to something conservatives would find more appealing, like Barack Obama II or Welfare King.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Books, Bret Baier, Fox, George W. Bush, Jon Stewart, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, The Daily Show, Video

Fox News's War on Christmas

I want you to brace yourselves, everybody, because this is some supremely troubling news: No sooner did we, as a nation of descent Christmas-loving God-fearing Americans, declare "Mission Accomplished" in our harrowing nearly-decade-long War on Christmas than we discover a brand new front opening up.

And this new front is behind our own lines…

Et tu, Fox News? How could you? I thought you were a true Fox and Friend to the Christmas cause.

And don't go trying to pretend like this was a one time "Oops!" kind of thing, because News Hounds has collected multiple offenses. You know, "multiple" as in how many pieces my heart is broken into right now.

Don't you realize that every time you use the word "holiday" instead of "Christmas," you drive the the nails deeper into our Founding Fathers' wrists?

Tags: Christianity, Christmas, Fox, Religion, War on Christmas