Osama bin Laden giving himself handies or Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee pulling out prematurely. That's a hard one…
Coverage continues after the jump.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.
Tags: Common, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Donald Trump, Fox, France, Mike Huckabee, Money, Music, Osama bin Laden, Porn, Primaries, Republicans, Ted Nugent, The Daily Show
Here's the best news-related tweets of the week that you won't wanna Passover.
Ha! I knew the government wasn't going to shut down! Nice try you Red Commie Soviet bastards!
Donald Trump still maybe sorta definitely not kind of running for President.
Tags: Abortion, Alcohol, Ayn Rand, Babies, Donald Trump, France, Guns, House of Representatives, Islam, Jon Kyl, Michele Bachmann, Movies, Planned Parenthood, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Taxes, Texas, Twitter, Tworld News
One day, you'll be able to tell your grandkids that you remember a time when the world wasn't falling to pieces from every possible direction.
That is, assuming you can have grandkids by next Thursday. Odds aren't great that there'll be a next Friday…
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.
Tags: Barack Obama, France, Japan, Libya, Mike Mullen, Military, Muammar Qaddafi, Natural Disasters, Ronald Reagan, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, United Kingdom, United Nations
The forces of evil have set upon former French president Jacques Chirac. Though Chirac’s attorneys are appealing, the gent in question may be forced to stand the indignity of a trial for "corruption," which is a stupid word meaning “seriously no big deal.” Porquoi, you ask?
Well, if you must know, he's been accused of maybe making some kinda not-so-ethical moves when he was the mayor of Paris…
The 78-year-old former president is accused of embezzling public money to fund his political party while he was mayor of Paris between 1977 and 1995, the year he was elected to his first term as president. Specific allegations are that Chirac used city money to pay 28 phantom employees for his own political purposes.
Chirac has denied any wrongdoing, saying that France had no clear laws on party financing at the time.
Does there really need to be a law that says you can't use public funds to pay people for doing jobs that don't actually exist? This and other pertinent questions may never be answered, as the trial has been delayed on appeal.
So, to Jacques Chirac, we offer a hearty congratulations on probably never being prosecuted for something you probably totally did! In the words of our nation's own drunken, party-hearty descendants of the French, "Laissez les bontemps rouler!"
Tags: Corruption, France, Jacques Chirac