Latest Posts
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Tweet Untweet: Relax and Reinvigorate
Obama campaign raised $181 million in September. They plan to buy chill pills for all supporters and a triple espresso for the president.
— John Moe (@johnmoe) October 6, 2012
Tags: Barack Obama, Fundraising, Tweet Untweet, Twitter -
Uncle Joe Biden Got America's Nose
Ever since President Obama was replaced by Invisible Obama just in time for the first presidential debate, Obama supporters have pinned their hopes on Joe Biden and his ability to re-energize the Democratic base.
In some ways, Biden is an under appreciated secret weapon of the Obama re-elect. Not only are Biden's constant gaffes the last word in expectations management, invaluable ahead of Thursday's VP debate, but he's a gifted campaigner outside the debate setting. For the past few weeks Biden has been busy reaching out to working-class voters that Obama has so much trouble reaching. And he's done so by literally — not Joe Biden literally, but literally literally — reaching out to them…
Outside the Airport Diner here on Saturday, Mr. Biden shook Samantha Mullin's hand while stroking her left forearm. He placed a hand on one shoulder. He put his other hand on her other shoulder. As he looked into her eyes, he touched her cheek.
And holding their hands…
Tags: Fundraising, Joe Biden -
Barack Obama Gets Clingy
Dear Mr. President,
It's not you, it's me.
Things are just moving too fast. I was happy to put the bumper sticker you gave me on my car. I even have a poster of you up in my room. But asking me to write supportive messages on my hands? And sending you selfies, just so you could post them on the Internet? I'm sorry, that's just a tad creepy. I need my space.
Mostly, we're just at very different points in our lives right now. I'm focused on my career. You're focused on me. I don't want to hold you back from reaching your full potential — stopping the rise of the oceans, healing the planet, bringing peace to the world's trouble spots — but to do that, we need to see other people. You, especially, need to see other people. You may have heard there's an election in less than 40 days.
I'm sorry I wasn't ready for this kind of relationship. I hope we can remain friends.
Yours,
Ilya
Tags: Barack Obama, Fundraising -
Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing, Week 4
Welcome to week 4 of RAAL (Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing). We took last week off to do some fundraising in the Hamptons, but this week we're back and ready to elect a new jokester-in-chief. Congratulations to lefty @BorowitzReport for getting the best of liberals in week 3.
Our jokes this week come in the form of comics. Take a look at both and then vote in the comments section. You'll have to do a little more work for the right-wing comic (by clicking the link), but on the bright side, you get to write it off on your taxes.
Week 4:
IN THE LEFT CORNER
A favorite from our #cartoonistoftheweek @laloalcaraz on VP Ryan and #Medicare #GCLiberal twitter.com/GoComicsLibera…
— GoComics Liberal (@GoComicsLiberal) September 21, 2012
IN THE RIGHT CORNER
Obama's #ForeignPolicy strategy. Something is not right here. #topicoftheweek ow.ly/dRk0P #Politics
— GoComics Conserv (@GoComicsConserv) September 21, 2012
Tags: Andy Borowitz, Conservatives, Democrats, Fundraising, Liberals, RAAL, Republicans -
PORN! And 6 Other Fundraising Suggestions for Mitt Romney
Let's get right to it, Mitt: your fundraising efforts are lagging. Due to Obama's revitalized base and your determination to be yourself, you're losing steam right when it matters most.
Which is why you might take a lesson from Mirad Hadziahmetovic, a Bosnian mayoral candidate who's using porn to encourage traffic to his campaign's website. And if that doesn't work, here are six more suggestions…
1. Paul Ryan's mother. Gotta put her in the spotlight more. Not only does she help soften Democratic attacks over Medicare, but people are beginning to suspect that Ann is the only woman who supports your candidacy.
2. All brownface, all the time.
Tags: Fundraising, Mitt Romney, Sex
