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  • Barack Obama Indulges His Asian Fetish at G-20

    Nobody parties like the G-20 parties and the G-20 parties don't stop! Yes, it's time for a big celebration of being rich and staying that way, by hook or by crook. Canada has the honor of hosting this bloated retinue of government bureaucrats.

    But don't get your hopes up, Other Countries; Barack Obama is going through a serious Sailor Moon phase, and he's got priorities

    Mr. Obama will have at least six one-on-one meetings with other leaders. But except for Mr. Cameron, all of the confirmed bilateral meetings so far are with Asian leaders — Mr. Kan of Japan, Hu Jintao of China, Manmohan Singh of India, Lee Myung-bak of South Korea and Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono of Indonesia — in a reflection of Asia’s role in leading the global economic recovery.

    Suck on that, round-eyes! Our Man in Ontario could give two shits if you've got an epithelial fold above your big Euro peepers. Obama's got a craving for Asian fusion, and all y'all Occidental motherfuckers best back the fuck off, ya heard?

    Tags: Barack Obama, Canada, China, G-20, India, Indonesia, Japan, South Korea
  • Daily Show: Tea Partiers Advise G20 Protesters

    If you're like me, you thought the protesters at the G20 Summit were just gathering in Pittsburgh for the free tear gas. But it turns out they're there on behalf of some real issues, dozens of them in fact. And, as John Oliver reported on last night's Daily Show, that seems to be their problem. If they could just be like the Teabaggers and focus on one cause, say the plight of patchouli farmers or government subsidized Che t-shirts, their efforts would be a lot more effective.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

    Tags: Anarchists, G-20, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Protesters, Tea Party, The Daily Show, Video
  • John Oliver Outside the G20 Summit

    From The CC Insider

    The New York Times has a slide-show up with pictures of the protests outside this weekend's G20 Summit in Pittsburgh. And among the photos was this one featuring The Daily Show's John Oliver talking to a gentleman who I assume was there to protest the deleterious effects of globalization on the plaid forests of Micronesia.

    john oliver g20

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

    Tags: G-20, John Oliver, Pennsylvania, Protesters, The Daily Show
  • Fun with Obama Photos: International Lampoon's European Vacation

    Everybody knows that body language is more important than real language. Whereas real language is tricky to am get worded correct-like, body language is direct and clear in its message. A few days ago, I analyzed photos of Obama in order to evaluate his hidden messages, and I came up with astoundingly insightful evaluations. I also took cheap shots about Barack Obama farting in public and fingering Michelle.

    Anyway, this week, I take a look at Obama's European vacation (here's a phrase not heard in a while: Chevy Chase did it better) and his speech for the G-20 summit. And guess what? I make really intelligent analysis of Obama's body language…

    "We might be nerds, but we just made an oath to lose our virginity by the end of the high school."

    Oops, so this is going to be stupid and sophomoric. Click after the jump if you want to go down this rabbit hole of stupidity…

    "Nope, nothing symbolic about this picture. The chandelier doesn't resemble anything at all that might comment on my often mocked Messiah image."

    "What did the five fingers say to the face? 'Waaah, we're just five fingers and we're pouting.' That's what the fingers said."

    Why does Obama pout in so many of his photos? I feel like he's disappointed in us all for not being as Obamariffic as he is.

    "Finally, I think I see a solution to our economic woes. Just kidding, folks. April Fools. But what I do see in our future are some more bailouts for huge companies."

    "I swear to God, the Queen's boobies were this big!"

    "And her penis was even bigger!"

    "No, of course I'm not a socialist. *wink wink*"

    "Hahaha. I'm your boss now and you have to do what I say! Hilarious!"
    Hillary: "Great. I stayed married to Bill Clinton all these years for this?"

    "The last one to touch their nose has to deal with GM. Not it!"

    "I bet you were all hoping I'd do an amazing speech, but I'm good at other things besides giving speeches. For example, I do a  bitchin' robot…"

    That's not the only time Obama's been caught dancing in public.

    "I'm not bowing. I'm dancing just to show off how much better we are at dancing."

    "At first I thought you French guys were kinda snooty, but anyone who helps me recreate the dance scene from Big is alright with me."

    Seriously, our president loves dancing. If only our economy ran on smooth moves, instead of, you know… What does it run on again? It's definitely not money whatever it is.

    Read More »

    Tags: Barack Obama, G-20
  • Secretary of State Hillary Clinton Is Probably Not a Sex Worker

    This is kind of embarrassing

    The White House has accidentally published a sex line number on a press release, directing reporters to call for details on the G20 meeting of world leaders.

    Journalists who dialed expecting a word with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National security Adviser Jim Jones were greeted with an unfamiliar female voice requesting a credit card number if they "feel like getting nasty."

    Obviously, that number supposed to direct callers to Hillary's husband Bill.

    Tags: Bill Clinton, G-20, Hillary Clinton, Sex