Monday's Links: SNL's Hot Sequester Cuts Cold Open

* Saturday Night Live explains the budget cuts with disco.

* It probably took a village to build Abraham Lincoln's log cabin.

* John Oliver's "The Bugle" podcast covers Mali, the Pope and Mars.

* The next time John Boehner gets mouthy, Joe Biden should pull this prank.

* The Suffrage Parade of 1913 is 100 years old today and still looks amazing.

* "Bill Clinton is a red blooded American. He likes guns, burgers, and women."

* The great new idea to shout at people online who have different opinions than you do.

* A hidden camera show goes to Texas to see how a red state stands up to intolerance.

* NASA brags about how it has the largest indoor pool in the world. Suck it, Donald Trump!

Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Budget, Daily Links, John Oliver, LGBT, Marriage Equality, NASA, Pope Benedict XVI, Sequester, Texas, Women's Rights

Laura Bush Asks to be Taken Out of Pro-Gay Marriage Ad [VIDEO]

The Respect for Marriage Coalition recently released a TV ad featuring Laura Bush, Colin Powell and Dick Cheney speaking in favor of gay marriage.

Yes, that Laura Bush, Colin Powell and Dick Cheney:

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Tags: Laura Bush, Marriage, Marriage Equality

Thursday's Links: Kid President Sings of Love

* Kid President gets executive on the laws of love.

* A pragmatic approach to affairs of the heart, from Aziz Ansari.

* Team Coco is bowled over by Marco Rubio's gaffe.

* Some Valentine's Day cards that are as funny as they are sad.

* Jen Kirkman as Abbie Hoffman on the Dead Authors Podcast.

* If dating worked like college applications, it would be pretty helpful.

* Thankfully, the origin of "wearing your heart on your sleeve" isn't literal.

* Barenaked Ladies beat me to it: The first ever space-to-earth musical collaboration.

Tags: Abbie Hoffman, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Jen Kirkman, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Men and Women, Paul F Tompkins, Space, Valentine's Day

Illinois Senate Passes Marriage Equality on Valentine's Day

Someone forgot to tell the Illinois General Assembly the real meaning of Valentine's Day: spending too much money at the behest of the faux-emotion industry, gnawing on chocolate and whittling away at single people's self-esteems.

Instead of doing any of those things, the Illinois State Senate passed a marriage equality bill with 34 in favor, 21 opposed and 2 present. How dare they do something so meaningful? It's like no one respects the commercialism of the holiday any more!

The debate was dominated by questions about protections for religious institutions, because the sanctity of old codgers whining about the fabric of society is still very much secure. In the end, however, a majority of Illinois state senators decided that if you can't trust fabric to the gays, you can't trust anyone. The bill now moves to the Illinois House, which is expected to pass the measure, right after it polishes off this box of Russell Stovers.

Previously
Shocking Scenes of the Gay Threat in Washington State

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Illinois, LGBT, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Valentine's Day

Tuesday's Links: Science and Sex with Neil deGrasse Tyson

* Neil deGrasse Tyson talks to Kristin Schaal and Dr. Ruth about sexy science.

* This train guy really loves trains.

* If you don't love meat, you don't love America.

* Walter Cronkite accurately predicts the future.

* Heterosexual couples stick it out for gay rights.

* Conan O'Brien's Produce Bowl pits apple against orange.

* California is… broke, and other unfortunate autocompletes.

* Donald Trump is suing Bill Maher for insinuating he has orangutan blood.

Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Mahr, California, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Donald Trump, Dr. Ruth, Guns, Kristin Schaal, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Nazis, Neil, Patriotism, Science & Technology, Sex, The Onion, Walter Cronkite