Tweet Untweet: Supreme Suspense

OMG how do you think Scalia will vote on gay marriage? Can't stand the suspense.

— Erik Tanouye (@toyns) December 7, 2012

Shocking Scenes of the Gay Takeover in Washington State

Yesterday Washington State issued its first marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Naturally, chaos ensued, as militant degenerates–like these thuggish women here–descended upon town offices in an attempt to destroy America as we know it.

See more photos here, but only if you can handle it.

Americans Want to Get High at Gay Weddings

Just after midnight, Washington State's law legalizing same-sex marriage went into effect. Jane Abbott Lighty and Pete-e Petersen were given the first same-sex marriage license in King County, proving that social conservatives should focus more on the environmental impact of marriage equality, because damnit, it got real dusty in here all of a sudden.

Can you feel Lighty and Peterson's matrimony slowly boring into the foundation of your heterosexual relationship, undermining your family and uprooting civilized values? No? Neither can most Americans. According to yesterday's Gallup poll, 53%  favor legalized same-sex marriage, tying the previous record high. Meanwhile, a new Quinnipiac poll shows marriage equality favored 48 to 46%.

The same Q-Poll found 51-44% support for the legalization of marijuana, coming on the back of a PPP poll showing a 58% majority in favor of recreational weed. It's an impressive sea-change in Americans' political opinions, but I don't think people have considered how long these pot-filled gay weddings are going to take: "Woah, have you looked at this wedding ring? No, I mean really looked at it?"

Photo by David Ryder/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Morgan Freeman Narrates Ad for Marriage Equality [VIDEO]

For a group of people whose civil rights are often under assault by evangelical religious groups, the voice of God is a pretty big get…

Read More »

Our Endorsements: Lesbians Get Tough on Gay Marriage

* Gay women will marry your boyfriend (NSFW).

* Our boss writes about The Boss.

* Queen Elizabeth meets Swamp Thing.

* Uncle Sam has a spider in his tossed salad!

* Professor Blastoff sounds off on the elections.

* Here's a list of awesome stuff NASA wants to do.

* Cyber Monday may mean something else in the future.

* How is your black cyber buying orgy human sacrifice going?

Tags: Barack Obama, Black Friday, Daily Links, Election Day 2012, Funny or Die, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Mitt Romney, NASA, Thanksgiving