Stephen Colbert Reviews Everyone's Favorite New Show, "Grainy Footage of Leaking Underwater Oil Pipe"

Ugh! Summertime television, am I right? You know what I'm talking about. Why is it usually so hard during these sultry months for the networks to find a show that's compels us to watch, can keep us on the edge of our seats, and is maybe even capable of tugging on our heartstrings a little?

Well, this year, they found one. All the networks did! And it's the same show, so you can watch it on whatever channel your television happens to be tuned to right now. And the best part is it looks like it should be renewed at least through August!

The Daily Show also has a few choice words about the show, after the jump.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Energy & Oil, George Stephanopoulos, Gulf Coast, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Wyatt Cenac

Barack Obama Admits to Being Unaware of Sarah Palin's Expertise in Matters of Nuclear Proliferation and Physics

Oh my God! How embarrassing for President Obama! And on Good Morning America of all places! Jeeze!

Check out how he totally outs himself as an uninformed ignoramus starting at the 1:12 minute mark…

Here's that quote again, in case you missed it…

"The last I checked, Sarah Palin's not much of an expert on nuclear issues… [I]f the secretary of defense and the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff are comfortable with it, I'm probably going to take my advice from them and not from Sarah Palin."

Hahahahahaha! Oh man! What a maroon! He obviously has no idea of Palin's impeccable credentials on nuclear proliferation or the definitive paper on the Tolman–Oppenheimer–Volkoff limit that she wrote for the International Journal of Modern Physics. What an Looks like Obama's trying to make a play for Joe Biden's Gold Medal in the Gaffe-lympics!

If he keeps this kind of nonsense up, the 2012 presidential debates should turn out to be pretty hilarious.

Tags: Barack Obama, George Stephanopoulos, Good Morning America, Nuclear, Russia, Sarah Palin, WMDs

The Daily Show and Colbert on Obama's Death Panels

If you're alive enough to read this, consider yourself among the lucky ones. Somehow, President Obama's death panels haven't gotten to you yet. But don't think you're safe. None of us are safe from the death panels. Soylent Healthcare is people!

The Daily Show's coverage of Obama's death panels continues after the jump followed by Stephen Colbert's take.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday beginning at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, George Stephanopoulos, Health Care, Newt Gingrich, Samantha Bee, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Socialism, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show

John Edwards' Own Staff Members Were Prepared to Take Him Down

According to ABC News' George Stephanopoulos, a bunch of staffers inside the only white man's political campaign in the history of space-time to run third behind a woman and a black guy were planning on hitting the emergency brake if it looked like their guy might win the Democratic nomination in 2008.

Not really because John Edwards was a white guy — which was just soooo 2004 — but because of that whole cheating on his wife thing — which was soooo 1999…

Basically, if it looked like Edwards was going to win the Democratic Party nomination, they were going to sabotage his campaign, several former Edwards' staffers have told me.

They said they were Democrats first, and if it looked like Edwards was going to become the nominee, they were going to bring down the campaign.

Thank god somebody was prepared to do the scuzzy thing if it came down to it. I guess that's what makes them good cogs in the D.C. machine.

Tags: ABC, George Stephanopoulos, John Edwards

Twitter Is Our Future Evil Overlord

Did anyone consume the bizarre interview between ABC’s wonk hunk George Stephanopoulos and Senator John McCain via Twitter?

Here’s a scintillating sample of their in-depth interview about important topics concerning politics, technology, and national security, in 140 characters or less…

STEPHANOPOULOS: @SenJohnMcCain What worries you more: Pakistan or Iran?

MCCAIN: @GStephanopoulos both. the challenges are different but both significant.

I’m not a Twitter hater. Why, just the other day I twitted about how I added margarine to my Easy Mac to make it extra, super creamy. But the surprisingly fast paced adoption of the popular, personalized press release social networking system by the media and politicians is creepy and worrisome. Twitter gleefully devalues language, reducing words to their bare, passionless essentials. This is fine when you’re trying to tell your peeps what is up, where you at, but it is a slippery slope when it comes to meaningful conversation, especially between those in power, and those speaking to truth to that power. Or whisper it. Or wink, and kind of suggest the truth.

In George Orwell’s classic, hilarious bodice ripper 1984, the fascist, dystopian regime of the future controls the populace partially with cynically packaged media. The mass language spoke is called "Newspeak," and Orwell describes it as: "The only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year."

In Orwell's world, Big Brother destroys words, and meaningful conversation, in order to oppress. Of course, in our very real world, we're allowing ourselves to destroy the words, instead of waiting for evil overlords with rat cages to do it.

Here’s a sample of the same interview, in the very near future…

STEPHANOPOULOS @SenJohnMcCain Big Brother info req, make truth. Always at war with Oceania?

MCCAIN @GStephanopoulos Thoughtcrime. Oceania ungood. Confirm truth. Info req end.

Tags: George Stephanopoulos, John McCain, Science & Technology, Twitter