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George Will
  • George Will Hates Voting Like He Hates Jeans

    At some point, Washington Post columnist and popular-in-the-'80s pundit George Will began performing the real-life equivalent of Peter Griffin's  "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?" routine. Many say we arrived at this moment when Will dedicated an entire column to his displeasure at seeing men wearing jeans.

    (George, look at the picture at right. Do you realize that by characterizing denim as " symptomatic of deep disorders in the national psyche," you're insulting the Ronald Reagan, hallowed be his name? Think about your life, think about your choices.)

    Not convinced that Will is an insufferable crank whose love affair with baseball is his last tenuous connection to normal humanity? His latest column is dedicated to arguing against mandatory voting in federal elections, a policy that precisely zero people in the Obama Administration have proposed. And it's just as well, says Will, because you know who else liked high turnout elections?

    Those who think high voter turnout indicates civic health should note that in three German elections, 1932-33, turnout averaged more than 86 percent, reflecting the terrible stakes: The elections decided which mobs would rule the streets and who would inhabit concentration camps.

    What that has to do with Attorney General Eric Holder's suggestion that election procedures be federalized isn't clear. I think this is what happens when the bow tie gets too tight.

    Photo by Tim Graham/Tim Graham Collection/Getty Images

    Tags: Eric Holder, George Will, Nazis, Ronald Reagan, Washington Post
  • George Will and Donald Trump Elevate Our Political Discourse

    Donald TrumpFor anyone who followed Indecision's coverage of this Sunday's episode of This Week on our Election Companion App, the highlight of the morning was George Will referring to Donald Trump as a "bloviating ignoramus." Biology majors may know it as the Latin name for the critter that doubles as Trump's hairpiece.

    "I do not understand the cost benefit here," Will said. "The costs are clear. The benefit — what voter is going to vote for him because he is seen with Donald Trump? The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your IQ can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics."

    To which Trump responded, via Twitter, with all the grace we've come to know and love: "George Will may be the dumbest (and most overrated) political commentator of all time. If the Republicans listen to him, they will lose."

    For those who don't have the wherewithal to follow this cat fight to its natural conclusion, we can rest assured that follow-up remarks will involve the phrase, "I know you are, but what am I?" and Will's riposte about the cooties in Trump's hairpiece.

    Look, I know I said they're "elevating" our debate even as it looks like they're taking it to whatever circle of Dante's Inferno is reserved for pundits, but I stand by the remark. Any world in which we're still paying attention to Donald Trump is clearly upside down.

    Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

    Tags: ABC, Donald Trump, George Will
  • Stephen Colbert on the Fun Funness of Rick Santorum

    Here's two words for you: "sweat" and "vest!" Here's three more words: "man," "on" and "dog."

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

    Tags: Alcohol, George Will, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
  • Michele Bachmann Maybe Has One or Two Electability Issues

    Famous 1980s conservative person George F. Will has written a thing about who the Republicans will nominate to lose to Barack Obama in 2012. Our purpose here is not to mock this smart WaPo columnist or his often-nuanced and interesting ideas (who knew conservatives had these?) but to provide additional illuminating commentary on his work.

    See if you can tell where the Pulitzer Prize-winning commentary leaves off and the Webby Award-winning commentary begins…

    Bachmann has been propelled by three strengths: Her natural aptitude [and hateful insanity], honed by considerable practice [in equating gay people with child molesters], has made her formidable at the presentational side of politics. She has perfect pitch for the nominating electorate's passions [which include homophobia, fly-fishing, and aggressive ignorance -- Hi, MN-6!]. And she has substantive private- and public-sector experience, as a tax lawyer [her J.D. is from psycho televangelical cult compound Oral Roberts University, where they actually, seriously speak in tongues] and as a legislator on, among others, the House Intelligence Committee.

    But she also has a deficiency — indiscipline [and inherent evil] — that can, if not promptly corrected, vitiate her assets [and reveal her as a blathering lunatic]… she plunges into peripheral and utterly optional subjects she has not mastered (e.g., the Founding Fathers and slavery) [and also: everything else in the world]. Her staff, which is not ready for prime time [neither were the Moonies], is not serving as a filter to protect her from eager but misinformed supporters, and from herself.

    Because our interjections are nearly indistinguishable from Will's opinions, it is the determination of the Indecision Forever Executive Editorial Council that George F. Will should be our new superstar blogger!

    We await your W-2 form with baited breath, Sir George.

    Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Christianity, Conservatives, George Will, House of Representatives, LGBT, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Washington Post
  • Palinphobia Speading in Conservative Circles

    Sure. Tossing an aluminum bat over to an escaped mental patient and them letting her loose in your house may seem like a fun way to chase all the unwanted guests away from your birthday party, but the problem with it is that some of the guests you actually like are going to end up with broken heads, too.

    Plus, how do you get the mental patient to leave at the end of the night?

    These guys know what I'm talking about

    Palin’s flamboyant rhetoric always has thrilled supporters, but lately it is coming at a new cost: a backlash, not from liberals but from some of the country’s most influential conservative commentators and intellectuals…

    This year, the conservative intelligentsia doesn’t just tend to dislike Palin — many fear that her rise would represent the triumph of an intellectually empty brand of populism and the death of ideas as an engine of the right.

    "This is a problem for the movement," said [conservative columnist George] Will about what Palin represents. "For conservatism, because it is a creedal movement, this is a disease to which it is susceptible."

    Do you know what you could do is just let a bigger crazier escaped mental patient into your home, and that should fix that problem. Of course, then you'd need an even bigger and even crazier escaped mental patient to fix that one. And then you'd need, um… well…

    But, hey, this is the Republican Party we're talking about. There's practically an infinite supply of escaped mental patients.

    Tags: George Will, Primaries, Republicans, Sarah Palin