Georgia City to Make Gun Ownership Mandatory Because Freedom

Every freedom-loving American knows the only defense against a big, overreaching government is guns. Lots and lots of guns.*

There's just one problem. It turns out that some free Americans don't like owning guns. Enter Nelson, Georgia, a small community north of Atlanta that could soon require every "head of household residing in the city limits" to "maintain a firearm, together with ammunition therefore."

To recap, governments that force you to purchase deadly weapons are fine. It's only a problem if they start jamming health care down your throat.

Next, this town will try changing the state motto to "Georgia: Come for the Peaches, Stay for the Irony."

And you better do what they say. They all have guns.

^{* Or voting, if you're lame.}

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Georgia, Guns

Georgia Democrat Wants to Ban Lewd Photoshops

Georgia state Rep. Earnest Smith (D-Can't Take a Joke) found himself the "victim" of a photo manipulation recently when an Atlanta blogger pasted the politician's face onto the body of a male porn star. And instead of taking the compliment, Smith is cosponsoring a House bill to make "obscene" photo manipulations subject to a $1,000 fine:

"No one has a right to make fun of anyone. You have a right to speak, but no one has a right to disparage another person. It's not a First Amendment right," [Smith] said.

First of all, though there are plenty of constitutional limits on free speech, obnoxious Photoshops of politicians have been around much longer than even Photoshop (and Lincoln in a dress is supposed to be a pro-Lincoln cartoon!).

Second, I doubt that's the real Rep. Smith in the blogger's photo. The real life Smith seems to have skin so thin, it's see-through.

Previously
The New York Subway's New Anti-Islam Ads
Tyrant Barack Obama Removes Herp-a-Derp Secession Petition

Photo via Keen Collection/Getty Images

Tags: Crime, First Amendment, Georgia, State Legislature

Best Write-In Votes of 2012 National Tournament

From Jesus Christ to Ron Paul to Your Mom, thousands of not-on-the-ballot candidates received votes in this year's election. Some of the most creative entries came from Georgia's 10th Congressional District, where evolution-denying doctor Paul Broun faced no Democratic opponent but had to fend-off a write-in challenge from the ghost Charles Darwin.

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Tags: Animals, Georgia, History, Paul Broun, Pennsylvania, Television

GOP Briefed on Barack Obama's Mind Control Plans

Barack Obama's second term hasn't even started, but every sign points to the next four years being completely awesome…

President Obama is using a Cold War-era mind-control technique known as "Delphi" to coerce Americans into accepting his plan for a United Nations-run communist dictatorship in which suburbanites will be forcibly relocated to cities. That's according to a four-hour briefing delivered to Republican state senators at the Georgia state Capitol last month….

The event — captured on tape by a member of the Athens-based watchdog Better Georgia (who was removed from the room after 52 minutes) — had been billed as an information session on Agenda 21, a nonbinding UN agreement that commits member nations to promote sustainable development.

What these people don't realize is that Obama's mind control techniques have already borne fruit. By making the GOP believe embarrassing things, he's managed to build a national Democratic majority.

Somehow, Republicans have been convinced that workers receiving the Earned Income Tax Credit are "moochers," while defense contractors are "makers." That an expansion of health insurance for the near-poor is a "gift," while tax preferences for investors are just "pro-growth policy." That the right of a factory to pollute a neighbor's property is "freedom," but the right to marry who you love is perversion.

If that's not evidence of "Delphi" wreaking havoc on the GOP coalition, I'm not sure what is.

Tags: Barack Obama, Georgia, Republicans, Tea Party, United Nations

From the Pork Barrel: The Empty Chair

* Oh, man! I wish we had an empty chair up there on stage Wednesday night. Just look at the charisma oozing from that empty chair. Besides, a chair sits. It doesn't just lie down.

* The actual truth behind Mitt Romney's handkerchief have finally been revealed!

* "You see! I told you! We've all been falling right into Obama's plans all along!" – your uncle who likes forwarding emails

* Rep. Paul Broun explains that evolution and the Big Bang are "lies straight from the pit of Hell," by which I'm pretty sure he means "a classroom."

* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as we watch CNN's State of the Union Sunday morning at 9 am (EST).

Tags: Barack Obama, Debates, Evolution, Georgia, House of Representatives, Mitt Romney, New Yorker, Paul Broun, Pork Barrel, Science & Technology, Unemployment