Newt Gingrich May Sue TV Station for Slandering His Bad Name

Mitt Romney must really be rich, because he's still wasting money attacking Newt Gingrich. For those of you who've lost track of all the ups and downs in this bizarre primary, Newt's current poll numbers are so weak he's thinking about leaving them for younger, hotter ones.

But, unlike a fancy Mediterranean cocktail, Newt's not taking this lying down…

Newt Gingrich's campaign is threatening to sue TV stations in upcoming primary states that are airing or plan to broadcast an ad from a pro-Mitt Romney super PAC accusing the former House Speaker of supporting the "one-child" Chinese policy that has been criticized as inhumane.

The ad in question… asserts Gingrich "co-sponsored a bill with Nancy Pelosi that would have given $60 million a year to a U.N. program supporting China's brutal one-child policy."

A letter from a Gingrich campaign lawyer sent to every TV station in the states with upcoming contests in the GOP presidential primary calls the ad fundamentally NOT TRUE, or as PolitiFACT.org put it — a "Pants on Fire" lie.

If Newt Gingrich ever brings this case before a judge, he'll probably be held in contempt of court for reminding us all of the fire in his pants.

Of course, it's unlikely Newt actually supported China's one-child policy. First, the bill in question contained a provision prohitbiting funding for coerced family planning. And second, if each couple just had one kid, there wouldn't be nearly enough minors to fill all of Newt's proposed child-janitor jobs.

And let's be honest: Newt Gingrich has never supported one of anything, whether it's children, spouses or slices of cake. How could he favor a one-child policy when he doesn't even support a one-wife policy?

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Advertising, China, Georgia, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Television

Troy Davis Executed, Ann Coulter Still on the Loose

After a brief delay during which the US Supreme Court considered a stay, Troy Davis was executed by the state of Georgia at 11:08 last night. Davis, who was convicted of murdering a Savannah police officer 22 years ago, maintained his innocence to the end — a claim made credible made by a lack of physical evidence and the recantation of seven prosecution witnesses.

With hundreds of thousands of activists pleading for clemency, the outcome was in doubt even as the clock crept past the scheduled hour for Davis's execution…

The appeal to the Supreme Court was one of several last-ditch efforts by Mr. Davis on Wednesday. Earlier in the day, an official with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People said that the vote by the Georgia parole board to deny clemency to Mr. Davis was so close that he hoped there might be a chance to save him from execution.

The official, Edward O. DuBose, president of the Georgia chapter, said the group had "very reliable information from the board members directly that the board was split 3 to 2 on whether to grant clemency."

In such a controversial case, who could Americans turns to for an exegesis of the evidence and a moral examination of whether it's appropriate for man's life to hinge on a 3 to 2 vote? Ladies and gentlemen, Ann Coulter…

Oh, no! Someone's hacked into Coulter's Twitter account and impersonated a hyena cackling out morally questionable drivel! Luckily, the real Ann Coulter soon returned…

Oh… oh. Learning that this wasn't a parody account made me depressed enough that I thought about getting help from Rainbow Medical Associates and CorrectHealth, Inc., which sound like the kind of organizations that could help with my anguish. Unfortunately, they were busy helping the Georgia Department of Corrections provide execution services. A whole rainbow of execution services.

Photo by Jessica McGowan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Ann Coulter, Capital Punishment, Georgia, Judiciary, NAACP, Supreme Court

The United States of Unflattering Stereotypes

How long does it take to travel to every state in the nation and mock it right to its face? About two minutes…

I think it's really cool that Paul Jury traveled 19,000 miles in the service of writing his book States of Confusion, but you've got to wonder if it was really necessary. If he was really interested in seeing how everybody in the country really lives, couldn't he have just gone to a Wal-Mart in a Hoveround?

Tags: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Books, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming

From the Pork Barrel: The Loneliest Supporter

* Public Policy Polling discovers a Jon Huntsman supporter in the wilds of Iowa.

* Mitt Romney loves sparkling Mormon vampires.

* Sage advice for Anthony Weiner and his maybe-penis.

* Wondering why Weiner can't remember if that penis is his? Wonder no more.

* Fifty-eight percent of conservatives are Communists!

* What exactly is Glenn Beck planning to do at his Israeli rally?

* Rep. Paul Broun warns against dangerous strain of non-racism in TSA.

Tags: Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner's Penis, Books, Georgia, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Iowa, Israel, Jon Huntsman, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Paul Broun, Paul Ryan, Polls, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Transportation, TSA

Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal Takes Courageous Stand Against the Poors

Next time the devil goes down to Georgia, he’d better bring his papers with him. Gov. Nathan Deal don't cotton to any of them illegal alien types, of whom Satan is surely not even the most evil!

Yes, more heinous even then Lucifer himself is the average impoverished Central American migrant farmworker, who works 18-hour days in the Georgia heat with no health benefits to offset, say, the cancers caused by the toxic chemicals he inhales all the livelong day and night. Nor can this selfish brown person count on guaranteed housing, aside from the occasional squalid group of trailers reserved by the farmer for this purpose. Serves him right, for greedily demanding his $2.50/hour from the massa. Isn't there a Starbucks he can get work at back home in Quito, or perhaps one of them Taco Bell/McDonald's combo joints?

Anyhoo, let us reflect on what the brave, rich, conservative white man from Georgia did last week in order to protect his upstanding people from the gross browns…

The law is similar to measures in Arizona and Utah that have drawn legal challenges and economic boycotts. Mr. Deal, a Republican, said he would have preferred a comprehensive immigration overhaul from the federal government.

"Illegal immigration is a complex and troublesome issue, and no state alone can fix it," he said. "We will continue to have a broken system until we have a federal solution. In the meantime, states must act to defend their taxpayers."

Yes, protect them from the murderous abuelas who raise their children now that mammies are out of style, as well as from the busboys who clear away their fancy $20 plate of grits in their enlightened New South restaurants. Congratulations, Nate Deal. You are America’s latest and greatest hero.

Photo by Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly/Getty Images

Tags: Georgia, Immigration, Nathan Deal