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Ginger White
  • New Allegations May Rob America of Its Herman Cain Candidacy

    Herman Cain's roller coaster presidential campaign — which has somehow managed to weather Herman Cain as a presidential candidate for several months now — may actually be brought down by brand new allegations of sexual misconduct.

    According to Cain — in a conference call this morning with the media that is trying to destroy him — a bunch of women accusing him of stuff is acceptable. But a bunch of women plus one accusing him of stuff… Well, that might be a little bit of an issue

    "Obviously, you're all aware of this recent firestorm that hit the news yesterday," Cain began, his voice somber. "First thing I want to do is say to you what I have said publicly: I deny those charges, unequivocally… [I]t was a just a friendship relationship."

    "That being said, obviously, this is cause for reassessment," he continued. "As you know, during the summer we had to make some reassessments based upon our financial situation. We were able to hang in there; we reassessed the situation and kept on going…"

    "Now, with this latest one, we have to do an assessment as to whether or not this is going to create too much of a cloud, in some people's minds, as to whether or not they would be able to support us going forth," Cain said."

    He might not be able to go forth? Might not be able to go forth?! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

    Please don't let this be happening! Please don't let this be happening! Please don't let this be happening!

    We already lost one Sarah Palin. Can we really afford to lose a second one?

    Tags: Ginger White, Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex
  • Woman Claims to Have Had 13-Year Affair with Herman Cain

    Man, I'll tell you what. People really like making up stories about sexual stuff involving Herman Cain. Why do people keep doing this? Herman Cain is just trying to run a good clean presidential campaign, and all people want to do is write sexual fan fiction about a former pizza CEO. It's so crazy! What has he done to deserve this?!

    Now, some woman from Georgia is going on television with an Atlanta Fox affiliate to break the news that she and Cain engaged in a 13-year sexual affair

    "I was aware that he was married, and I was also aware that I was involved in a very inappropriate situation — relationship," Ginger White told Atlanta television station WAGA.

    White said that affair ended about eight months ago, as Cain prepared to announce his presidential bid. But she pointed to mobile-phone records she said showed Cain was calling her as late as September, including one as early as 4:26 a.m.

    Well, I mean, she tried to break the news. In actuality, Herman Cain managed to run to a TV station faster so he could break the news first to Wolf Blitzer on CNN…

    Cain, who lives in suburban Atlanta, upstaged the report by going on CNN a few minutes before the station broadcast its interview with White. He told CNN's "The Situation Room" that her assertion was coming and would be false.

    "It is someone that I know who is an acquaintance that I thought was a friend," Cain said. But he added, "I did not have an affair."

    "I acknowledge that I knew the woman," he said. "I acknowledge that I have known her for about that period of time. But the accusation that I had a 13-year affair with her, no."

    Everybody knows, when you're a high-profile politician and people make up potentially-damaging stories about you, the best thing to do is get to the loudest megaphone available on the double and pre-announce the lies just to make certain that as many people as possible pay attention to them when they come out. That's politics 101 right there.

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Ginger White, Herman Cain, Primaries, Republicans, Scandalgate, Sex