* The only people who can help Greece are Greeks, from Jest.
* Legalize marijuana! Or else.
* Mitt Romney = Anchorman's Brick Tamland.
* News feed of the world for July, from College Humor.
* Tennessee Democrats have a very interesting sense of humor.
* How was this week for gays? Dave Holmes gives it to us straight.
* See if you can swallow the political opinions of other porn stars.
* Michelle Obama goes all Johnny Appleseed on America's backyards.
Tags: Daily Links, Europe, Greece, Michelle Obama, Mitt Romney, Steve Carell, The Onion
Liberals have tried everything to stop conservatives' ridiculous war on women. They've appealed to the public, drafted fake pre-Viagra screening laws and even forced advertisers into fleeing Rush Limbaugh's syndicated propaganda delivery system.
While the public is squarely on their side, Democrats haven't been able to get conservative lawmakers to back down. So they're hitting those dicks where it hurts – their dicks…
A group that supports health care coverage of contraception is calling for women to withhold sex from their partners between April 28 and May 5.
"This will help people understand that contraception is for women and men, because men enjoy the benefit of women making their own choices about when and if they want to get pregnant," Liberal Ladies who Lunch says on its website. "Once congress and insurance agencies agree to cover contraception, we will then resume having sex. Until then men will have to be content with their left hand."
On its Facebook page, the group charts a brief history of similar "strikes," starting with Aristophanes' ancient Greek play "Lysistrata," where women refuse to have sex until the end of the Peloponnesian War.
It's a fitting strategy since, like the Ancient Greeks, conservatives believe women should be at home all day tending the hearth.
Hopefully, this sex strike will change some politcians' minds. But if liberals can't turn red staters blue, then at least they can give them blue balls.
Tags: Greece, Liberals, Men and Women, Sex, Women's Rights
* Rick Santorum isn't crying, he's getting chopped up on The Onion.
* The Guardian gets wonderfully satirical in its self-promotion.
* President Obama has a favor to ask Betty White, on Conan.
* Adios to February, from College Humor's Facebook history of the world feed.
* If things get too bad, we can follow Greece's example, from McSweeney's.
* Jimmy Kimmel pokes fun at Bristol Palin's new show.
Tags: Bristol Palin, College Humor, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Greece, Jimmy Kimmel, Marriage Equality, The Guardian, The Onion, United Kingdom
Newt's boat was called the Odyssey. Because if there's anything the GOP contenders resemble, it's a group of battered Greek sailors trying to resist the Siren call of reason.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.
Tags: Greece, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video