Quote Unqote: WTF

Sarah Palin, speaking to Fox News' Greta Van Susteren, gives her thoughts on the President's SOTU address…

"His theme last night was WTF, winning the future. I thought, okay, that acronym – spot on. There were a lot of WTF moments throughout that speech."

Not bad. Not bad at all. Though, it's not the most un-obvious joke ever. "Winning the future" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like some kind of a… tongue rolling off thing. (Whatever.) You'd think someone on Obama's staff would have read that phrase and said, "Um, Barry… WTF?"

Plus, it sounds like "Fight the Future," which was the name of the first X-Files movie, which was an acceptable film, but not great. Still, I guess it was a better theme choice than "I Want to Believe."

Hey, so does this mean that Obama really is an alien?

Tags: Barack Obama, Greta Van Susteren, Quote Unquote, Sarah Palin, State of the Union

Jon Stewart Checks In With RNC Chairmibble Michael Steele

Against all odds, Michael Steele has announced he will in fact run for reelection as RNC Chair. Though, looking at his track record, you have to think his chances are pretty slim. After all, the GOP doesn't need a clownish self-parody as the face of their party. It's time for someone more serious and less fallible. You know, like Sarah Palin or Carrot Top.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Fox, Greta Van Susteren, Jon Stewart, Michael Steele, Republicans, Rick Santorum, RNC, The Daily Show, Video, Wyatt Cenac

Charlie Crist Determined to Solve the Case of Marco Rubio's $130 Back Wax

In case you haven't heard this incredibly world-shattering news yet, please brace yourself. (I wouldn't want you dying from a heart attack or anything.) Former Florida representative Marco Rubio one time charged $130 to his Republican Party credit card for what may have been a haircut.

That is, unless the $130 was actually for something much more insidious than a haircut. Like, perhaps, a back wax?

Perhaps Rubio's opponent for Florida's GOP senatorial nomination current Gov. Charlie Crist can get to the bottom of this very important mystery during an interview on Fox News…

"And yet just in recent weeks, two weeks ago it has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax," he said. "We are not sure what all he got at that place."

Host Greta Van Sustern interrupted. "Wait a second, stop. A back wax? Wait a second."

"I don't know what it was, you know," Crist continued.

Van Sustern responded, "I know, but was there a suggestion it was for a back wax? Or a haircut? Or are you being flip?"

"I don't know what it was," Crist replied. "Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn't a haircut."

Yeah, he said it wasn't a haircut, so it totally could have been a back wax. You can't prove that it wasn't, can you? I mean, back waxes are among the things that people could possibly have done in those places in theory. That's normal and pertinent speculation. Hey, it could have been something else. Something grosser. Like a pube perm. Or an anal bleaching. Or a toe hair grooming. Who knows what these Italians do with all that hair of theirs. (Am I right, mildly racist conservative voters of Florida?)

But, you know what? Crist didn't bring up any of those perfectly reasonable speculations. Because he's too classy for that.

That Charlie Crist, one hundred percent class.

Tags: Charlie Crist, Fashion, Florida, Fox, Greta Van Susteren, Marco Rubio, Senate

John Boehner Will Not Participate in a Televised Health Care Talk Until He Sees the Set

John Boehner isn't just annoyed that President Obama's televised bipartisan health care summit will be bipartisan. He's also miffed that it will be televised, as he explained to Greta Van Susteren on Fox News the other day…

VAN SUSTEREN: What do you make of the fact that it's televised? The American people are probably delighted that we're getting this televised.

BOEHNER: I think that's fine, but you know, is this a political event or is this going to be a real conversation?

VAN SUSTEREN: Well, except that we've been hammering them about the transparency.

BOEHNER: I don't…

VAN SUSTEREN: The president said, you know, he was going to put everything on C-Span, so we can't criticize him now for when he finally does put it on C-Span.

BOEHNER: Well, that's fine, but I want to make sure that we're going to have an honest conversation, you know, an honest, bipartisan conversation about how we can approach this. I don't want to walk into some set-up. I don't know who's going to be there. I don't know how big the room's going to be. I don't know — what the set-up is going to be.

Exactly! I mean, will there be bottled water on the table? Glasses of water? One American flag in the background, or two?

You can't expect to have an honest, bipartisan conversation unless people know these things beforehand.

Tags: Barack Obama, Fox, Greta Van Susteren, Health Care, John Boehner, Republicans, Television

Colbert Protects His Assets from the Senate's Healthcare Bill

According to the newly released Senate healthcare bill, Democrats want to pay for reform by taxing so-called "Cadillac insurance plans." Which sounds good, until you remember GM filed for bankruptcy this year. "Cadillac" doesn't exactly mean what it used to. In fact, I'm pretty sure this means they're paying for healthcare reform by taxing Medicaid. Either way, Stephen Colbert has a fool-proof plan to protect his money from the socialist taxocrats.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Fox, Greta Van Susteren, Health Care, Stephen Colbert, Taxes, The Colbert Report, Video