Jon Stewart on the Perpetual Victims at Fox News

Sorry, I don't have time to write a lengthy intro for this clip from last night's Daily Show. I've got to run and do some volunteer work at a shelter for oppressed and downtrodden conservative pundits.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Ann Coulter, Beck, Bernie Goldberg, Bill O'Reilly, Brian Kilmeade, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, Jon Stewart, Michelle Malkin, Sean Hannity, Steve Doocy, The Daily Show, Video

Anthony Weiner Sexes People Up During the Daily Show?

Alright, granted. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are not optimal background noise for creating the proper mood during coital exercise. Though they do have that Trapped in the Closet soul singer guy from time to time. And that's not bad.

The biggest issue, I think, is that you have to make sure you finish your business well before Stephen's interview segment ends. Otherwise, you risk climaxing during something like Tosh.0. Have you seen what they put on that show? You could end up with a debilitating wizard fetish. And that's no way to live a life…

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner's Penis, Bill Clinton, Brian Kilmeade, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, House of Representatives, Huma Abedin, Jon Stewart, New York, Scandalgate, Sex, The Daily Show, Tosh.0, Twitter, Video

Jon Stewart Covers the Latest Battle in The War on Christmas

It's December, which means it's time once again for The War on Christmas, or as it's now known, The Global Struggle Against Yuletide Celebrationism. I'd love to be out on the front-lines fighting it myself, but as you know, I've got candy canes where my hands used to be after my sleigh came under heavy tinsel fire last year. Anyway, here's what Jon Stewart had to say about the bloody affair on last night's Daily Show.

Meanwhile, Jon's interview with former Joint Chiefs Chairman Hugh Shelton went long last night, but you can see the entire unedited segment after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Christmas, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, James Inhofe, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Julian Assange, The Daily Show, Video, WikiLeaks

Fake News Network Mocked by Cowardly News Network for Covering Make-Believe News Story

CNN on Fox News on Weekly World News' big scoop…

))<>((

Very, very ))<>((

(via Reddit)

Tags: Brian Kilmeade, CNN, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocy

Fox & Friends Scared That Maybe Not Enough People Will Come to See Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and Then They'll Get Sad

This is very, very sweet. Somebody needs to send these guys a rum cake or something.

Obviously, I'm referring to how oh-so-very concerned Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade and Gretchen Carlson of Fox & Friends are for the well being of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Because what if their highly-anticipated upcoming dueling rallies aren't able to outdraw Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally from last month? Oh no!

After playing a clip of Stewart on O’Reilly last night, host Steve Doocy said, "Ok and Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are going to have a big rally in our nation’s capitol, at the end of October and when asked last night on the O’Reilly’s show whether or not they have a permit or something like that, Jon Stewart said probably not."

Brian Kilmeade then delivered the Foxaganda, "I believe they do, and they are heavily on the line on this, but can you possibly outdraw Glenn Beck? They are putting themselves totally out there."

Gretchen Carlson chimed in with, "That’s what we were discussing yesterday. I don't know if it's a such a smart P.R. move, but you never know how many people will show up. Lots of people watch their shows."

Let's hope so, Gretchen! For everyone concerned, am I right? Hahahahahahaha!

But seriously, if the Stewart/Colbert rallies do prove to be two giant busts, we are are certain that nobody will be feeling the pain more than you three kindhearted so-and-so's. But we will be there for you. We'll all get through this together. Like the true blue Fox & Friends and friends that we are.

Tags: 8/28 Rally, Brian Kilmeade, Fox, Glenn Beck, Gretchen Carlson, Jon Stewart, March to Keep Fear Alive, Rally to Restore Sanity, Stephen Colbert, Steve Doocy