U.S. Government Keeps Dropping Dead Poisoned Mice on Guam

If this story doesn't lift your spirits for the weekend, I don't know what will:

Dead mice laced with painkillers are about to rain down on Guam's jungle canopy. They are scientists' prescription for a headache that has caused the tiny U.S. territory misery for more than 60 years: the brown tree snake.

Most of Guam's native bird species are extinct because of the snake, which reached the island's thick jungles by hitching rides from the South Pacific on U.S. military ships shortly after World War II. There may be 2 million of the reptiles on Guam now, decimating wildlife, biting residents and even knocking out electricity by slithering onto power lines.

How polite! We terrorize Guam's ecosystem by introducing these horrible snakes, then we try to remove the horrible snakes by airbombing them with dead mice.

The best part is, we've done this before. Twice.

But this time, the strategy can't fail. Even if the snakes don't die off, Guam's residents will eventually just move away.

Problem solved.

Previously
Indecision Delegates: Guam at the RNC [VIDEO]

Photo by Karl Gehring – Contributor/Denver Post/Getty Images

Tags: Animals, Guam

Indecision Delegates: Arianna Huffington [VIDEO]

As their time in Tampa came to a close, Jared and Jordan sat down with Arianna Huffington to talk Mitt Romney, the Book of Revelation and what it's like to be in bed with Al Franken.

Some trips you just never want to end…

Related: Indecision Delegates: Guam at the RNC

Tags: Guam, Indecision Delegates, Republican National Convention

Indecision Delegates: Guam at the RNC [VIDEO]

Jared Logan and Jordan Carlos talk with the governor of Guam to figure out what exactly he's doing at the RNC. Plus, can anybody in Tampa find it on a map?

Posted with the AT&T HTC One X

Related: Indecision Delegates: Victoria Jackson

Tags: Guam, Indecision Delegates, Republican National Convention

Some of Mitt Romney's Best Friends Are Remote Islands

"I think Mitt Romney is in a terrific position to win the nomination, but I'm deeply concerned about his strength among the Pacific Islander demographic," said absolutely nobody, ahead of Saturday's contests in Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands and tomorrow's primary in American Samoa.

However, if someone were to have such concerns, they were allayed by Romney's strong performances over the weekend, which offset Rick Santorum's near-sweep of the Kansas caucuses…

The campaign's tally shows Romney taking a total of 38 delegates on Saturday — nine each in Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands, seven in the Virgin Islands, seven in Kansas and at least six in Wyoming, where the final delegate count has yet to be determined.

Santorum, according to the Romney camp's numbers, took 33 delegates in Kansas and at least one in Wyoming, but zero in the three U.S. territories, giving the former senator from Pennsylvania a total of 34 delegates for the day.

Unlike tomorrow's vote in American Samoa, which Mitt Romney is expected to dominate thanks to the island's large LDS population, Romney doesn't have any personal connection to Guam, the Northern Marianas or the U.S. Virgin Islands. Other factors did work in his favor. He may not be an islander himself, but some of his friends no doubt own an atoll or two. He sends some of his favorite possessions on island vacations. And no doubt, the palm trees are just the right height.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Guam, Kansas, Mitt Romney, Northern Mariana Islands, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Virgin Islands