From the Pork Barrel: 2 Legit 2 Not at Least Attempt to Try for a Full Term

* San Francisco interim Mayor Ed Lee nabs the all important Hammer endorsement.

* Looks like Haggard's Law is being enforced in New Jersey.

* In honor of Herman Cain's recently released nouvelle vague soon-to-be-classic, The Fix runs down the top ten strangest campaign ads ever fever-dreamed up.

* A new smart-phone app informs friends, family and legal representation that you are a dirty hippy who is currently being arrested by some fascist pig on a power trip.

* Meghan McCain got near some protesters.

* Charlie Rose, Chris Hedges and Amy Goodman discuss Occupy Wall Street in a sea of darkness representing the growing vacuum of justice in our increasingly oligarchic society.

Tags: Haggard's Law, LGBT, Pork Barrel, Republicans

From the Pork Barrel: Debt and Taxes

* Newly announced senatorial candidate Elizabeth Warren makes a somewhat simple but overlooked point: "There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody!" That's the problem with this country — even the capitalists are socialists!

* Warren currently leads incumbent Republican Scott Brown by two points in a recent poll. But don't worry; Brown should regain the advantage once we get to the swimsuit competition.

* Anti-government intervention, free-market Republicans ask Harvard to stop paying Elizabeth Warren's salary.

* Barack Obama patiently explains to United Nations why United Nations is kind of useless. Wasn't quite as well received you might expect.

* Ted Haggard is supposedly going to be on ABC's Celebrity Wife Swap. Somebody has told him that in the whole swapping business, he ends up with another wife, right?

Tags: ABC, Barack Obama, Education, Elizabeth Warren, Haggard's Law, Israel, Massachusetts, Palestine, Polls, Pork Barrel, Scott Brown, Senate, Ted Haggard, Television, United Nations

From the Pork Barrel: Live Free or Un-Die!

* Tea Party unhappy with video game that insinuates that some its members might covet brains.

* Gayhomophobe.com: Your one stop shopping site for hypocritical bigotry.

* Rush Limbaugh rails against the evils of moderation, swallows 27 roasted chickens whole.

* Two advisers heroically escape from Bachmann campaign, now resting comfortably in safe house.

Tags: Haggard's Law, LGBT, Michele Bachmann, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Tea Party, Video Games

From the Pork Barrel: Once a Geek…

* So, Jon Huntsman apparently "dropped out of high school to join a prog rock band called Wizard." That, however, made him feel like too much of an outcast, so he instead decided to run for president as a pro-science Republican.

* Turns out Michele Bachmann's God is talking to us through earthquakes and hurricanes comment from this past weekend was just a hilarious totally characteristic joke. Also, everything she has ever said ever was just a joke.

* For the first time in 112 years, nobody from the White House will be attending the Veterans of Foreign Wars national convention, possibly due to scheduling conflicts, but probably because Obama hates America.

* Totally straight Republican senator turns out to be gay in shocking twist!

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Haggard's Law, Jon Huntsman, LGBT, Michele Bachmann, Music, Natural Disasters, Pork Barrel, Puerto Rico, Religion, Republicans, Senate, Veterans

From the Pork Barrel: The Rick Man Cometh

* I agree with Rick Perry 100 percent! If the Founding Fathers had wanted Medicare and Social Security, they wouldn't have invented Skid Row and bargain bin cat food.

* While we're on the subject, is Rick Perry gonna make Mitt Romney actually have to work for the GOP nomination? Not cool, man. Not cool.

* Looks like congressional Democrats are gonna have to work extra hard in order in order to close this weird popularity lead they inexplicably find themselves in.

* Another day, another anti-gay Republican caught trying to pick up a male prostitute. Yawn!

* Sometimes it seems like the only thing that Republicans are united in opposition to more than Barack Obama's center right-version of socialism is the observable universe.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Democrats, Haggard's Law, House of Representatives, Indiana, Iowa, LGBT, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Phillip Hinkle, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Social Security, State Legislature