Latest Posts

  • Quote Unquote: Spicoli v. Fugee

    Sean Penn — co-founder of the J/P Haitian Relief Organizationresponds to Wyclef Jean's announcement that he's "being drafted by the youth of Haiti" to be their nation's president…

    "I'm not accusing Wyclef Jean of being an opportunist; I don't know the man… One of the reasons I don't know very much about Wyclef Jean is that I haven't seen or heard anything of him in these last six months that I've been in Haiti."

    I wonder what part of the country Wyclef will choose for his presidential mansion. I'm guessing Florida.

    Video after the jump.

    (via Reddit)

    Read More »

    Tags: Haiti, Natural Disasters, Quote Unquote, Sean Penn, Wyclef Jean
  • Wyclef Jean Officially Announces He's Being Kidnapped by Haitian Youths and Forced to Serve as President

    Won't somebody please save Wyclef Jean?! Can we send in the Marines to protect this political prisoner? He clearly has no desire to run for President of Haiti, but he's "being drafted" by "the youth" of the country, which — as he tells Wolf Blitzer seventeen times — is more than 50 percent of the population somehow…

    "I don't even say I'm trying to be President. I'm being drafted by the youth of Haiti."

    Man, that is a tough culture they have down there. You'd think that a high-profile adult American citizen living in his million dollar home in New Jersey would be safe from a kids on an impoverished Caribbean island. Do you think maybe they're summoning him with The Voodoo?

    Oh, and I think I found the perfect campaign poster for soon-to-kidnapped-President Wyclef's presidential run. Sums up my feelings exactly.

    Tags: CNN, Haiti, Music, Wolf Blitzer, Wyclef Jean
  • Wyclef Jean Will* Be Gone Till November 28th, Which Is the Day of the Presidential Elections in Haiti

    Poor Haiti. Just can't catch a break. First there was the whole slavery at the hands of European colonialists thing. And then the crippling poverty and pestilence. Not to mention the recent earthquake and accompanying infestation of Scientologists and celebrities.

    And now this?

    There are reports that the musician [Wyclef Jean] is mulling a run for the top office in Haiti. Reached by phone, Jean told CNN that talk of a campaign is a bit premature as he is still mulling it over.

    "I can't sing forever," Jean said.

    Man, they really got the losing end of that deal with the devil, didn't they?


    * Maybe?

    Tags: Haiti, Music, Wyclef Jean
  • George W. Bush Wipes Poor People Germs onto Bill Clinton's Shirt

    So, best buds forevs George W. Bush and Bill Clinton just recently traveled to earthquake-devastated Haiti (Oh, yeah! Haiti! Do we still care about that?) to remind people that Haiti exists, and to add a small bit of joy to the locals otherwise impoverished and non-American lives.

    Unfortunately, that meant that Bush couldn't just fly over the country in a helicopter and had to actually interact with (and, at times, touch) some poor people. But, don't worry about him. He was prepared for that eventuality, and he put his brilliant plan into action at around the 0:11 minute mark of this video…

    George Bush! What a guy!

    (via The Daily What)

    Tags: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Haiti
  • Scott Brown Still Wants to Be the Woody Harrelson to Barack Obama's Wesley Snipes

    Scott Brown was totally not kidding about that whole basketball game thing with the President

    Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) and his daughter, Ayla, say they're serious about their proposal to play hoops with President Barack Obama at the White House.

    And now the father-daughter team is taking it a step further: They'd like the option of opening the game up to the public in order to raise money for Haiti.

    "I think it'd be really fun… I was thinking why not charge admission. It'd be a really good game knowing me and my dad — we're very competitive — and give all the proceeds to Haiti," Ayla Brown said Monday in an interview with ABC News.

    I think this is a great idea for Brown, but not such a great one for Obama. Scott Brown already effectively unseated Obama from the Oval Office by beating Martha Coakley for a Senate seat in Massachusetts. If he and his daughter beat him on the court as well, I don't see how Obama's would ever be able to come back from that kind of humiliation.

    I mean, he'd have to leave Washington in disgrace, take up a drinking habit and spend his days puking up his esophagus in some seedy Illinois motel bathroom, until the day that he falls so deeply into a Wild Turkey-induced stupor that he wakes up on a b-ball court surrounded by a darkened void and finds Ted Kennedy standing at the other end of the court. The deceased statesman from Massachusetts — his voice distant and echoey at first, though increasingly close and warm — would of course challenge the confused and unshaven president to a game of H.O.R.S.E. And, through playing that game, Obama would re-find his political mojo.

    Upon waking in his vomit-encrusted motel bathroom, he would immediately pour the dregs of his whiskey bottle down the sink, hop into a Stevie Wonder musical montage and begin training for his return to the Capitol.

    Upon returning to the garbage-strewn, dilapidated halls of the White House, he would discover that, in his absence, Dick Cheney and his horde of reanimated Republican corpses had taken over the country.

    And that's when it's time to kick some zombie ass!

    So, yeah, I'm not really sure that accepting Sen. Brown's challenge is such a wise decision, politically speaking.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Basketball, Haiti, Martha Coakley, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Senate, Sports, Ted Kennedy