The Daily Show on the End of the War in Iraq

I'm not exactly sure why Republicans are so upset about the long-overdue end of the war in Iraq. Don't they realize that this frees up all the resources President Bachmann will need for sending troops into Iran?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Hamid Karzai, Iraq, John McCain, Jon Stewart, Libya, Lindsey Graham, Michele Bachmann, Military, Muammar Qaddafi, The Daily Show, Video

Hillary Clinton and Hamid Karzai Laugh at Herman Cain's Laughableness

Under normal circumstances, I'd say that it is unacceptable for a U.S. Secretary of State like Hillary Clinton to engage to openly mock an American presidential candidate like Herman Cain with the head of a foreign state Afghani-ghani-ghani-stan-stan President Hamid Karzai. But I'm not sure these are normal circumstances.

I think once you go on television and brag about how little know — or even care to know — about foreign countries, you're kind of setting yourself up to be a worldwide joke…

Tags: Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai, Herman Cain, Hillary Clinton, Obama Administration

Tworld News: Week of July 15, 2011

News and comedy, comedy and news: we're keeping you on the edge of your tweet all week long.

Confused about the debt ceiling? Don't be! Picture the American economy as a house. The debt ceiling is the creepy guy hiding in the shrubbery with a gallon of gasoline and a book of matches.

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Debt, Eric Cantor, Google, Hamid Karzai, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Roger Clemens, Rupert Murdoch, Twitter, Tworld News

Afghan Quagmire to Remain Quagmire for Pretty Much Ever

The concept of pullout is an iffy one, whether we’re talking about a condomless one-night stand or, um, the war in Afghanistan. In both situations, there are matters of safety, etiquette, and timing to be considered.

And ultimately, someone’s going to have a lot of cleaning up to do…

President Obama’s national security team is contemplating troop reductions in Afghanistan that would be steeper than those discussed even a few weeks ago, with some officials arguing that such a change is justified by the rising cost of the war and the death of Osama bin Laden, which they called new "strategic considerations"…

The cost of the war and [Afghani President Hamid] Karzai’s uneven progress in getting his forces prepared have been latent issues since Mr. Obama took office. But in recent weeks they have gained greater political potency as Mr. Obama’s newly refashioned national security team takes up the crucial decision of the size and the pace of American troop cuts, administration and military officials said.

To sum up: President George W. Bush launched a futile war, installed a Big Oil puppet in Kabul, and spent 8 years trying to kill a bad guy. After less than 2.5 years in office, President Barack Obama nailed the aforementioned villain in question, who wasn't even in the country where we're fighting the aforementioned futile war. Obama thinks maybe some more of our troops should go home, and the puppet should start to actually be in charge of its own country, maybe, kinda, possibly? But probably that will not happen, and we'll be stuck in Afghanistan for another 10 worthless years, and more soldiers will die, and way more civilians than that will die, and everything will go to shit as history repeats itself.

Good times! Excuse us while we put our heads on our desks and cry now. Carry on!

Photo by Massoud Hossaini/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Hamid Karzai, Military, Osama bin Laden

Afghanistan Hasn't Quite Figured Out Democracy Just Yet

Prepare yourself for the shock of your life: Some people think the last spate of elections in Afghanistan was corrupt, tainted, and all-around broken. Yes, even in the country of renowned populist hero Hamid Karzai, there is major distrust of the ethics and transparency of the voting process. Imagine Florida in 2000, only without Mickey Mouse, Miami Beach or freedom of speech. Or indoor plumbing.

In order to address hundreds of complaints over the September elections (who has elections in September, anyway? weirdos), the Afghanistan Supreme Court has set up a five-judge panel…

The panel is the latest player in the tug of war lasting months over the vote, which was widely perceived as being seriously tainted by fraud and skewed by rampant insecurity that kept large numbers of people from the polls. The outcome left Pashtuns — Mr. Karzai’s ethnic group, as well as the Taliban’s main base — largely underrepresented, and the Karzai government has mounted repeated efforts to alter the official results, pushing the country toward a constitutional crisis.

“The high court does have the authority to cancel the entire process in light of the national Constitution,” said the head of the special panel, Sediqullah Haqiq, at a news conference on Monday.

In a country ruled in name by a U.S.-installed puppet government and ruled in fact by medieval-minded tribal warlords and misogynistic fundamentalist fascists, it should only take, oh, FOREVER to institute a reliable system of electing representatives.

And so Afghanistan's adorable and inspiring Cinderella story continues. Uncle Sam hasn't looked this fabulous in his fairy godmother get-up since the days of the Shah in Iran!

Tags: Afghanistan, Corruption, Hamid Karzai