Stephen Colbert on the Biggest Fantasy Adventures of the Summer: Harry Potter and the Sarah Palin Documentary

Spoiler Alert!: The final horcrux that needs to be destroyed is the Bill of Rights.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Harry Potter, Movies, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

Tea Partiers, Republicans and Southerners More Likely to Sympathize with Confederacy

I find these numbers to be as depressing as I find them to be not-at-all surprising…

[Yesterday was] the 150th anniversary of the Civil War's beginning, when secessionists fired on Union troops at Fort Sumter, South Carolina. According to a new poll from CNN, the Civil War’s legacy remains unresolved. The poll finds that Republicans and Tea Party supporters are more likely to support the Confederacy and confederate leaders than Democrats or Independents.

According to the poll, nearly one in four Americans sympathize with the Confederacy more than with the Union. That number grows to nearly four-in-ten among white Southerners. Among Tea Party members, 26 percent sympathize with the Confederacy more than the Union, and that number grows to 28 percent among Republicans.

In other news, Southern Tea Party Republicans are 54 percent more likely to support the Empire while watching the original Star Wars trilogy, 63 percent more likely to root for the sorting hat to place Harry Potter in the House of Slytherin, and 76 percent more likely cry a little bit when Leatherface cuts himself with his own chainsaw and then does that weird sad dance at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Tags: Civil War, Harry Potter, Movies, Polls, Republicans, Star Wars, Tea Party

Quote Unquote: Helen Thomas on Barack Obama

Longtime White House correspondent — and admitted liberal — Helen Thomas gives her thoughts on President Obama and the job he's been doing thus far…

"He's only beginning to wake up to the power that he has to do the right thing. He should never worry about a second term. He should only understand he's got three more years to rise to the occasion."

Um, I don't want to call plagiarism, but I'm relatively certain that that's a direct quote from Harry Potter and the Cabinet of Obfuscation. (Is that the fourth or the fifth book? I always get them confused.)

Tags: Barack Obama, Books, Harry Potter, Helen Thomas, Quote Unquote, White House

Candidate Casting Couch: Harry Potter

Finally! This weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is available for all the world to read. But once you run your grubby little muggle eyes across the 17,000 pages of the book in one 12-hour reading marathon, then what?

Well, if you really need your Harry Potter fix, you can flip on the news, mute the sound, and pretend the candidates are your favorite Rowling characters. After quaffing several flagons of polyjuice potion, here's what we divined…

Al Gore = Hermione Granger
Loveable know-it-all; has grown noticeably "shapelier" over the years

John Edwards = Ron Weasley
Good sidekick, but can he win the quidditch tournament on his own?

Rudy Giuliani = Draco Malfoy
Has a hard time keeping his wand in its sheath

Mitt Romney = Severus Snape
Good or evil, no one knows — either way, could really use some sun

H.R. Clinton = J.K. Rowling
Zillionaire book author

Ralph Nader = Lord Voldemort
Just when you thought you'd seen the last of him…

And now for the final mystery: Who do you think is Harry Potter?

Tags: Al Gore, Candidate Casting Couch, Harry Potter, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Mitt Romney, Ralph Nader, Rudy Giuliani

That's Puzzling!: Candidate Anagrams

As millions of Potterphiles know, I am Lord Voldemort is an anagram for Tom Marvolo Riddle. We at Indecision (also known as Coin Inside) were wondering what other names could be made into oddly appropriate anagrams.

For example, an anagram for George Walker Bush is Gore grew bleak. And it turns out that Dick Cheney is just another way to spell Chick Needy.

Now it's your turn — pick a candidate and come up with a fitting anagram for his or her name.

Tags: Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Harry Potter, That's Puzzling!