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Harry Reid
  • Thanks to Senate, Donors Won't Even Get Receipt for Purchased Elections

    harry reidLate last night, Senate Republicans blocked legislation that would have forced corporations, unions and nonprofits groups to reveal the biggest donors behind their political ads. 51 Senators voted in favor of ending debate on the DISCLOSE Act and moving toward a final vote, while 44 Senate Republicans stood in opposition, leaving the measure 9 votes short of passage, according to anachronistic Senate math.

    DISCLOSE, which stands for Democracy Is Strengthened by Casting Light On Spending in Elections because our legislative process is built on acrostic poetry, would have required politicians to dress like NASCAR drivers, their suits emblazoned with the logos of corporations who support them corporations and unions to report any campaign-related spending over $10,000 within 24 hours and to name donors who give $10,000 or more for political purposes.

    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid voiced the obvious complaint

    "Perhaps Republicans want to shield a handful of billionaires willing to contribute nine figures to sway a close presidential election… If this flood of outside money continues, the day after the election 17 angry old white men will wake up and realize they just bought the country. That's a sad commentary."

    Hollywood studios are deep into sequels these days, but 17 Angry Old White Men does not sound like a promising followup to the Sidney Lumet/Henry Ford classic.

    Yet Reid makes a perceptive point. What if the policies purchased by major donors fail to provide an appropriate return on investment. How are Sheldon Adelson and Foster Friess supposed to return their politicians for a refund without a paper trail?

    Photo by Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Tags: Harry Reid, Money, Senate, Super PACs
  • Harry Reid Calls for Bonfire of U.S. Olympic Uniforms

    harry reidWhat should we be burning today in a massive pyre of ignorance? Books with controversial messages? Witches? No! According to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, we should be burning Team USA Olympic uniforms because they were manufactured in China

    "I think the Olympic Committee should be ashamed," Reid told reporters on Capitol Hill. He said they should "burn" the current uniforms, and would rather America's athletes wear shirts with "USA" hand-painted on them.

    Yes, that's exactly the image we want to project to the world! But where are we going to find American-made plain white shirts and paint, anyway? Following the Reid standard, American athletes will just parade nakedly through London shouting, "U-S-A! U-S-A!," which granted is probably the plan for many American Olympians, but not before they get good and drunk after winning a few medals, damnit.

    Also, do you know what else is made in China? Every goddamned thing that doesn't require huge capital investment or technological know-how to manufacture. Chinese textile mills are what free up Americans to work at better jobs like being an accountant or Senator or a writer of snarky blog posts.

    Fourth of July fireworks are in made in China. The flag pins Mitt Romney ordered for the 2002 Olympics were made in China. Most baseballs are made in China (though the ones used by Major League Baseball are made in Costa Rica).

    In fact, I'm pretty sure Reid just implicitly called for a mass torching of American flags, which if nothing else, is a unique approach to populist campaigning. $3.3 million worth of U.S. flags were imported from China last year.

    Photo by Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Tags: China, Harry Reid, Olympics, Senate, Sports
  • Quote Unquote: Secretary of Dog Catching

    In the wake of recent Bain Capital revelations, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid speculates on Mitt Romney's theoretical ability to be theoretically confirmed to a theoretical cabinet position by the Senate


    "He not only couldn't be confirmed as a cabinet secretary, he couldn't be confirmed as dog catcher."


    Be that as it may, I don't think either of these two presidential candidates should placed in any kind of position of authority over dogs.

    Tags: Animals, Bain Capital, Harry Reid, Mitt Romney, Puppies!, Quote Unquote
  • Three Political Signs of Impending Apocalypse

    Mushroom CloudPlenty of analysts are bearish on the Mayan forecasting model due to its inability to accurately predict the arrival of the Spanish, but is it really any worse than formal predictive modeling? Well, yes, it is. Nevertheless, consider these data points suggesting humanity will not see the dawn of 2013…

    1. Jeff Fortenberry, a Republican representing Nebraska's First Congressional District has recently forsaken the one oath no Republican dare break by refusing to swear fealty to Grover Norquist and the Americans for Tax Reform pledge never to vote for a tax increase, saying…

    "My responsibility is to make judgments about hard, complex issues that I believe to be right. Simply looking at the status quo and suggesting that the tax code is sacrosanct and can never change, and that decisions made in the '80s and '90s can never change, is absurd."

    2. Politico has discovered a rarer species than a Tinman who has found a heart or Scarecrow who has found a brain. They discovered a Democrat who found a spine

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    Tags: Grover Norquist, Harry Reid, Senate, Taxes
  • The Daily Show on the Mormon-ness of Mitt Romney's Religion

    I'd have to say that my biggest concern about Mitt Romney's religion is that I don't want a Commander-in-Chief who breaks into songs every time he has something important to say. However, I should note that everything I know about the Book of Mormon comes from the Broadway musical. (Also, I've heard him sing.)

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    Coverage continues with discussion of Romney's still-gay, now-former foreign policy advisor after the jump.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Read More »

    Tags: Barack Obama, Brian Schweitzer, Christianity, CNN, Conservatives, Democrats, Harry Reid, Jon Stewart, Lawrence O'Donnell, LGBT, Martin Bashir, Mitt Romney, Mormon, MSNBC, Religion, Republicans, Richard Grenell, The Daily Show, Video