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Health Care
  • Barack Obama Is Destroying the American Pizza Industry

    What would you like on your pizza? You can get pepperoni, sausage, peppers, mushrooms, pineapples, meatballs, asparagus, grapefruit, bacon, buckwheat, Lego blocks, broccoli… Look, you can pretty much get anything you want on your pizza. Except one thing: affordable health care.

    That's because affordable health care — like anchovies – utterly destroys the entire pizza. Or, at any rate, makes it a tiny bit more expensive

    On a conference call last week, [Papa John's] CEO and founder John Schnatter (a Mitt Romney supporter and fundraiser) said the health care law's changes — set to go into effect in 2014 — will result in higher costs for the company — which they vowed to pass onto consumers.

    "Our best estimate is that the Obamacare will cost 11 to 14 cents per pizza, or 15 to 20 cents per order from a corporate basis," Schnatter said… "If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders best interests," Schnatter vowed.

    An extra 11 to 20 cents per counterfeit corporatized cardboard-flavored pizza?! But I'm already paying but I'm already paying at least three dollars too much for my counterfeit corporatized cardboard-flavored pizza! This will not stand. Screw that! I'm gonna get a falafel and hummus sandwich from the Middle Eastern place down the– Wait a minute! Could it be? I think it is. Barack Obama's long-term plan! Suddenly it's all so clear!

    Oh my God, he is truly the evil genius conservatives have been telling us he is.

    Photo by Lppa/Wikimedia Commons

    Tags: Barack Obama, Food, Health Care
  • Obama Being All Braggy and Whatnot About New Health Care Benefits

    You may have noticed this infographic — from the Women for Obama Facebook page (which I suspect to be a subsidiary of the Obama for Obama Facebook page) — popping up in your newsfeed a lot lately…

    Yeah, but do you know what's not covered?

    Your soul.

    Think about it.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Health Care, Men and Women
  • Rep. Mike Kelly Makes the Pearl Harbor of 9/11 References

    Thanks to Obamacare, beginning yesterday new institutional insurance plans are required to cover birth control and other women's preventative health care services without a copay, which means it's time for another installment of Things That Aren't Like 9/11 Being Compared to 9/11.

    Today's example comes courtesy of Pennsylvania Representative Mike Kelly…

    "I know in your mind you can think of times when America was attacked. One is December 7th, that's Pearl Harbor day. The other is September 11th, and that's the day of the terrorist attack. I want you to remember August the 1st, 2012, the attack on our religious freedom. That is a day that will live in infamy, along with those other dates."

    This explains why vaginas seem to be on the terrorist watch list of grope-y TSA agents. Or, it could be part of a broader problem that can be fixed if elected officials and their staffs took two minutes to study this chart…

    Read More »

    Tags: 9/11, Contraception, Health Care, Pennsylvania, Women's Rights
  • Mitt Romney Hearts Israeli Socialism

    Following the British leg of his foreign trip in which he did everything to annoy the British except ask if the scones came from a local 7-11, many wondered how we he would manage to taunt the Israelis.

    Would he serve bacon wrapped shellfish at a fundraiser for Jews for Jesus? Or posthumously retroactively convert somebody's grandma?

    Alas, Romney chose to go in a different direction, offering praise for various aspects of Israeli life. It's still too early to tell whether actually being diplomatic is a more or less effective way of conducting diplomacy than insulting your hosts, but it's clear that Romney has fully dedicated him to this "say nice things" strategy, even at the cost of endorsing a healthcare system much more socialistic than Obamacare…

    "Do you realize what health care spending is as a percentage of the GDP in Israel? eight percent," Romney told donors at a fundraiser at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem, speaking of a health care system that is compulsory for Israelis and funded by the government. "You spend eight percent of GDP on health care. You're a pretty healthy nation. We spend 18% of our GDP on health care. Ten percentage points more. That gap, that 10 percent cost, compare that with the size of our military — our military which is four percent — four percent. Our gap with Israel is 10 points of GDP. We have to find ways — not just to provide health care to more people, but to find ways to find and manage our health care costs."

    Israel actually goes beyond an "individual mandate" and is more akin to single-payer, since the government collects taxes to fund the healthcare system and then divvies up the revenue among four non-profit HMOs. Mitt-hog looked at this and saw his own Romneycare, which I think means we get 6 more weeks of pandering.

    Photo by Uriel Sinai/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Health Care, Israel, Mitt Romney
  • Maine Gov. Paul LePage Sorry If His Nazi Comparison Offended You

    It all began innocently enough when, in his weekly radio address, Maine Governor Paul LePage compared the Internal Revenue Service to the Gestapo, saying, "We the people have been told there is no choice, you must buy health insurance or pay the new Gestapo — the IRS."

    As a Jew raised with stories of Nazi atrocities, as passed down by relatives who had personal experience with World War II in Europe, I was heartened by LePage's fanning of the historical flame. The plan by Nazi Germany's secret police to round up Jews, gays and political opponents, hand them health insurance cards and provide them with subsidized coverage is surely one of the 20th century's lesser known atrocities, but LePage is right that we must never forget.

    Unfortunately, LePage couldn't leave well enough alone and offered clarification of his original remarks…

    Said LePage: "What I am trying to say is the Holocaust was a horrific crime against humanity and, frankly, I would never want to see that repeated. Maybe the IRS is not quite as bad — yet."

    A reporter asked, "But they're headed in that direction?"

    LePage responded, "They're headed in that direction."

    The governor was then asked if he thought the IRS was going to kill a lot of people like the Nazis and he responded, "Yeah."

    Apparently, that wasn't good enough for some people. So today, LePage formally apologized. "Millions of innocent people were murdered and I apologize for my insensitivity to the word and the offense some took to my comparison of the IRS and the Gestapo," he said in another radio address. There. He's sorry you were offended.

    Photo by Diane Bondareff/NBC — NBCU Photo Bank/Getty Images

    Tags: Health Care, IRS, Jewish, Maine, Nazis, Paul LePage