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Homeland Security
  • TSA Hired Alleged Molester Priest to Make Us Safer

    One rare locus of agreement between congressional Democrats and Republicans concerns the Department of Homeland Security's Transportation Safety Administration. Yes, it's a corrupt boondoggle that does little to keep Americans safe, but it's our  bipartisan corrupt boondoggle that does little to keep Americans safe, so long may it grope.

    Fortunately, the TSA has redeeming features. Americans looking for career advice are always being told to "do what you love," and in the case of one alleged pedophile, the TSA made dreams come true

    About four months after being defrocked by the Diocese of Camden in 2002, Thomas Harkins had a new job as a security officer, including patting down passengers, with the Transportation Security Administration at Philadelphia International Airport.

    The TSA hired the former priest before completing a background check, the agency recently confirmed. According to a church document, the diocese revealed to the TSA in 2003 as part of the background check that Harkins had been removed from ministry because of allegations he had molested two grade-school girls. Harkins was never criminally prosecuted, but the diocese settled civil lawsuits for $195,000.

    The TSA took no action as a result of the disclosure.

    Now, now, you say, "An organization that has a higher tolerance for child molestation than the Catholic Church is an institutional failure." I say, the government has finally discarded an outdated civil service system in favor of hiring people based on qualifications. No Al-Qaeda "grade-school girl" will be smuggling a bomb in "her" pants under the TSA's watch.

    Tags: Catholic Church, Crime, Homeland Security, Religion, Sex, TSA
  • Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Department of Homeland Security

    Four years ago, we were warned of the dystopian future upon the horizon, a nightmare landscape in which up is down, black is white, chocolate is vanilla and cats are dogs.

    Welcome, my friends, to the Bizarro World known as Obama's America, in which women are accused of sexually harassing men! Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????

    A blistering federal discrimination suit accuses agency honcho Janet Napolitano of turning the department into a female-run "frat house" where male staffers were banished to the bathrooms and routinely humiliated…

    First of all, that one phrase — "female-run frat house" — might confuse you. Such a thing would more commonly be described as a "female-run male-operated sorority" or possibly even as a "female-run male-operated female-run frat house."

    Does that clear things up at all? Good, let's continue with this strange Twilight Zone-esque story…

    Read More »

    Tags: Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, Judiciary, Men and Women, Scandalgate
  • Fake Fake Assassination Attempt on President Rocks Conservative World

    Oh my God! Did you hear about the assassination attempt on Barack Obama?!

    Well, not an actual assassination attempt. A make-believe one planned by the President himself.

    Also, not an actual make-believe assassination attempt planned by the President. A rumor about one that somebody supposedly heard tell of somehow and then posted about on some blog somewhere.

    Oh… My… God!

    A Republican member of the Tennessee state legislature emailed constituents Tuesday morning with a rumor circulating in conservative circles that President Barack Obama is planning to stage a fake assassination attempt in an effort to stop the 2012 election from happening.

    Stop right there! Stop reading, and consider something. These are adult people who are spreading this rumor. I only mention because because you might be inclined, midway through that last paragraph to forget that, and think that we're talking about 10-year-old children. But, no, they are in fact adults.

    And at least one of them is an elected official…

    Read More »

    Tags: Assassinations, Barack Obama, Homeland Security, State Legislature, Tennessee
  • Homeland Security to Let Arizona's Calls Go to Voice Mail

    You know that one friend of yours — and, to be honest, you're not even sure how you became friends, but now you are and there's no taking it back — who over-reacts about everything and calls you every fifteen minutes to tell you about the newest atrocity that he/she's experiencing? What do you do when you see their name pop up on your cell phone? You're not proud of it, but almost apologetically you whisper "Not now," to no one in particular and quickly slip the phone back into your pocket.

    With that in mind, you may now read this news blurb about the White House's plan for dealing with Arizona in the wake of yesterday's Supreme Court decision on immigration

    The Obama administration said Monday it is suspending existing agreements with Arizona police over enforcement of federal immigration laws, and said it has issued a directive telling federal authorities to decline many of the calls reporting illegal immigrants that the Homeland Security Department may get from Arizona police.

    Administration officials, speaking on condition they not be named, told reporters they expect to see an increase in the number of calls they get from Arizona police — but that won't change President Obama's decision to limit whom the government actually tries to detain and deport.

    "We will not be issuing detainers on individuals unless they clearly meet our defined priorities," one official said in a telephone briefing.

    I have a feeling Homeland Security's inbox is gonna get maxed out pretty quickly.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Homeland Security, Immigration, Judiciary, Obama Administration, Supreme Court
  • From the Pork Barrel: A Working Lunch

    * The White House just tweeted this photo, in an obvious attempt to show voters that the President is so dedicated to his job that he's taking his meals in the Oval Office.

    * Michele Bachmann unveils the liberal lamestream media's transparent scheme to win the health care battle by complimenting Anthony Kennedy for his dreamy transfixing eyes (or something not all that much less silly).

    * While we're on the subject of Enquirer-esque revelations from Rep. Bachmann, have you heard about all those Muslim Brotherhood agents who have infiltrated in the DOJ, Homeland Security and NIA?

    * A Politico reporter was suspended for making distasteful sensational remarks about a presidential candidate. Odd. Normally, they're given promotions.

    * Don't forget to download our Election Companion App for iPhone and iPad and follow along as we liveblog Sen. Marco Rubio on this Sunday's very special episode of Meet the Press on NBC.

    Tags: Anthony Kennedy, Barack Obama, Bo Obama, Department of Justice, Health Care, Homeland Security, Islam, Judiciary, Marco Rubio, Meet the Press, Michele Bachmann, NBC, NIA, Pork Barrel, Puppies!, Racism, Religion, Senate, Spying, Supreme Court