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WINNER Caption Challenge: Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano
Submitted by flasunbum.
Tags: Caption Challenge, Games and Challenges, Health Care, Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano -
White House Official: Don't Be Afraid of the Terrorists or They Will Kill You
Oh, good! I was wondering when the new administration was going to start embracing yet another of the least attractive aspects of the Bush administration…In an oped in USA Today, John Brennan — Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism — responds to critics of the Obama administration's counterterrorism policies by saying "Politically motivated criticism and unfounded fear-mongering only serve the goals of al-Qaeda."
Yeah, because anybody who would use "politically motivated" rhetoric to show a rival in an unfavorable light is an obvious terrorist. In fact, that's one of the main weapon of the terrorists: politically motivated criticism and dirty bombs.
Brennan writes that, "Terrorists are not 100-feet tall. Nor do they deserve the abject fear they seek to instill."
Actually, I kind of wish they were 100-feet tall. It'd be a lot easier to spot them in airport security.
Although, that would probably open up a big debate about dimensional profiling.
Tags: Homeland Security, John Brennan, Terrorism -
Jon Stewart on the Underwear Bomber
It's been said that big news often uncannily happens when The Daily Show is off the air. For example, the Hindenburg conspicuously crashed sixty years before the show even premiered. Well, as you know, this recent holiday hiatus was no different; The Daily Show went on vacation, and a dude tried to blow up a plane with a chode-bomb. So last night, the show returned (in HD!) and Jon Stewart made up for lost time, taking on the story from all angles.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: CIA, Dan Burton, Homeland Security, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Pete Hoekstra, Peter King, Richard Reid, Terrorism, The Daily Show, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, Video, Yemen -
Explosive Underwear Is No Match for Janet Napolitano's Anti-Terror System
Because 2009 is determined to end this sucky decade on the suckiest note possible, Americans celebrated Christmas with a jolly old blizzard and a festive centerpiece of attempted terrorism. The latter was handcrafted by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, using nothing but a Northwest Airlines plane and a stash of pentaerythritol tetranitrate sewn in his underwear…Usually, a shock wave from a blasting cap or an exploding wire detonator is needed to set off PETN. Mr. Abdulmutallab was reported to have used a syringe to try to inject a liquid into the explosive.
"It sounds like he was trying to cause a chemical reaction that would initiate it, and that didn’t work out so well," said Jimmie C. Oxley, an explosives expert and professor of chemistry at the University of Rhode Island.
Meanwhile, homeland security secretary Janet Napolitano spent the holiday weekend singing damage control carols on CNN…
NAPOLITANO: What we are focused on is making sure that the air environment remains safe, that people are confident when they travel. And one thing I'd like to point out is that the system worked. Everybody played an important role here.
Apparently Napolitano is referring to a sophisticated two-part safety system: the first part requires airplane terrorists who forgot to take notes during chem. The second part involves having a Dutch filmmaker on board to put out the flaming explosives with his hands. Wow! I sure feel confident about traveling, now that I know this system's in place.
Of course, to be fair, it hasn't failed yet.
Update: Now Janet Napolitano is saying the system did fail. You may return to your regularly scheduled panic attack.
Tags: Christmas, Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, Terrorism, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab
