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Howard Dean
  • BREAKING: Howard Dean on The Daily Show

    It's almost 11:00 here in Denver, and I just got a note on the Blackberry that tomorrow night's Daily Show guest will be none other than DNC Chair Howard Dean.  He'll be joining Jon Stewart via satellite in Denver tomorrow night.  Below is his last appearance on the show from May.

    Tags: Howard Dean, Jon Stewart, The Daily Show
  • Howard Dean is an Intolerant Bigot Against Whites

    Unable to land any significant punches against Barack Obama, the Republican Party has switched its focus to re-enacting their much more successful 2004 presidential campaign… And what could be more 2004 than taking shots at Howard Dean?

    The GOP is chiding Dean for referring to them as "the white party" in an NPR interview last week, after which he stopped himself and laughed at his gaffe…

    "Our party has been a no-majority party for a long time. The fact is that the Democratic Party is made up of lots of different people," Dean said. "If you look at folks of color, even women, they're more successful in the Democratic Party than they are in the white — excuse me — in the Republican Party." Dean laughed as he stumbled over the correction.

    Unfortunately for the GOP, their time-honored tradition of upbraiding Howard Dean (now four years and running) is eclipsed by an even longer tradition of sending no black Republicans to Congress, which now stands at 5 years, 229 days.

    That said, Howard Dean is an obvious racist who refuses to acknowledge the "big tent" that Rush Limbaugh, Trent Lott and George Allen are pitching on the Twin Cities' front lawn next month.

    I mean hasn't he heard that Cowboy Troy will be playing the convention?

    Tags: Barack Obama, George Allen, Howard Dean, Rush Limbaugh, Trent Lott
  • New John McCain Ad Outs All Democrats as Secret Republicans

    Hey, here's a thing…

    Okay then. That settles that. If a Democrat ever in the history of ever said a nice thing about John McCain while sitting in front of a television camera, then they must be supporting John McCain's campaign for president.

    Even Barack Obama.

    Too bad that it would be completely impossible for somebody to string together sixty seconds of similar clips about Republicans speaking well of Barack Obama.

    Tick, tick, tick, tick…

    Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, John Kerry, John McCain, Tom Daschle
  • Which Political Figures Are Really Like Paris Hilton?

    John McCain implicitly compared Barack Obama to Paris Hilton in his latest attack ad. But is that really a fair comparison? We thought long and hard about Paris Hilton's…qualities…to see if any of them really match up with Obama's, or those of any other politician. And here's what we came up with:

    Statuesque blonde

    Joe Lieberman

    Larry Craig
    Relentlessly self-promoting
    Barack Obama
    Attempted acting

    Fred Thompson
    Wears too much makeup

    Chris Dodd

    Attempted singing

    Trent Lott, John Ashcroft, Larry Craig, Jim Jeffords
    Won the Nickelodeon Teen Choice Award for "Best Scream"

    Howard Dean

    Spent time as a prisoner

    John McCain
    Dog wrote a memoir
    George W. Bush

    Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Dodd, Fred Thompson, George W. Bush, Howard Dean, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Paris Hilton
  • Barack Obama to Speak in Front of 75,000 Annoying Jagoffs at Convention

    If you were hoping for a nice little intimate Obama speech in front of a couple thousand delegates, reporters and secret service agents at the upcoming Democratic convention in Denver this August, you're out of luck

    Breaking the mold of traditional political Conventions, the Democratic National Convention Committee (DNCC) today announced that Senator Barack Obama will accept the Democratic nomination for President of the United States at Denver's INVESCO Field at Mile High.

    INVESCO Field can accommodate more than 75,000 people and will be the site of the 2008 Democratic Convention’s final day of programming on Thursday, August 28, 2008.

    "The Democratic Party is nominating a true change candidate this August, and it is only fitting that we make some big changes in how we put on the Convention," said Governor Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee (DNC).

    "Senator Obama's candidacy has generated an enormous amount of excitement and interest, not only in the Democratic Party but also in the 2008 Convention. By bringing the last night of the Convention out to the people, we will be able to showcase Barack Obama's positive, people-centered vision for our country in a big way."

    Man! Used to be you could catch one of your favorite politicians at a small venue while they were touring across country sleeping on friends' couches. Those were the days; you could just chill out with a beer in the back of the place and maybe even talk to girl or something.

    Now, it's all corporate and shit in places with names like INVESCO Field. You gotta circle the place for hours looking for parking and then fight your way through a bunch of assholes who only started liking the politician after they appeared on MTV's Choose or Lose. The beers taste like shit and cost $7. And then there's always a group of assholes in white hats who ate shrooms screaming the words to the speeches at the tops of their lungs right behind you.

    This is why I stopped going to political rallies after college.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Colorado, Democratic National Convention, Denver, Howard Dean