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Newt Gingrich Campaign Continues to Be Amusingly Unsuccessful
Hey, do you remember a few months back when Newt Gingrich pompously proclaimed "I'm going to be the nominee. It's very hard not to look at the recent polls and think that the odds are very high I’m going to be the nominee." Well, that doesn't have much to do with this post. I just like reminding people of it, because I think it's funny.Oh, and, just in case you were wondering, after 32 out of 34 loses, it doesn't look so much like he's gonna be the nominee these days…
Calls for Gingrich to end his campaign are bound to increase after his last-place showing in Illinois, where he was able to muster only 8 percent of the vote. He made his usual pledge on the Hannity show to stay in the race, but his fundraising is drying up, his schedule is lightening, and Republican National Committee rules raise questions about what he could accomplish by pressing on to the August convention in Tampa.
Also, his campaign is broke. Or, no, what's the opposite of broke? No, not not broke. The other opposite. Oh, right, highly in debt…
Tags: Illinois, Money, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans -
Illinois Results: Mitt Romney Wins and Congress Remains Ilya-free
Mitt Romney easily won the Illinois primary yesterday, taking 46.7 percent of the vote to Santorum's 35 percent, with Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich finishing third and fourth, respectively. Santorum put a positive spin on Romney's strong performance in places where people actually live…"If you look at what's going to happen tonight, we're going to win Downstate, we're going to win central Illinois, we're going to (win) western Illinois," [Rick Santorum] said. "We won the areas that conservatives and Republicans populate. We're very happy about that. We're happy about the delegates we're going to get too."
I'm going to assume those posthumous baptisms are finally beginning to pay off and Cook county's cemeteries provided Romney's large margin of victory, though the more likely explanation is that most Illinois Republicans like condoms and porn and having a chance of beating Barack Obama in November.
In any case, the real story last night involved the perpetuation of our long-running national nightmare of not having anyone named Ilya in the U.S. Congress…
Despite furious pressure from progressive groups, businessman Brad Schneider has defeated former MoveOn.org organizer Ilya Sheyman for the Democratic nomination in Illinois's 10th Congressional District. Schneider will take on Republican Rep. Robert Dold in the general election.
Let me explain, in table form, why I take this somewhat personally…
Ilya Sheyman, Congressional Candidate Ilya Gerner, Your Indecision Blogger Name Ilya! Ilya! Birthplace Moscow, USSR Moscow, USSR Age 25 26 Religion/Cultural Mood Affiliation Jewish Jew-ish Youthful Political Activities Staffer to a Suburban Democratic Party Staffer to a Suburban Democratic Party Relationship to Moveon.org Former National Mobilization Director Frequent Deleter of its Emails And now neither of us will be in Congress. Hope you're happy, America!
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Illinois, Ilya Sheyman, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum -
Illinois Exit Polls: Republican Excitement at All Time Meh
I'm not used to seeing this level of excitement going into a primary election. Look at that! Nearly half of all voters actually like the candidate they're voting for…More than four in ten of the people who voted for Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum in Tuesday's GOP primary in Illinois "have reservations" about their choice, according to early CBS News exit polls.
Forty-seven percent of Romney voters "strongly" favor their candidate, as do 44 percent of Santorum voters. But 41 percent of Romney voters and 44 percent of Santorum voters say they have concerns about their choice. Another one in ten supporters of each candidate say they dislike the other candidates.
This reminds me of the time that old Mr. Hucker's cat got caught up in a tree, and all the townsfolk couldn't decide if it's be better to use a 20 foot aluminum ladder or a 30 foot zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
What happened? Did Romney win yet? Please don't tell me I missed Newt Gingrich's victory speech.
Photo by Don Emmert/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Illinois, Mitt Romney, Polls, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum -
Evidence of "Man on Dog" Action in Illinois
And in my own back yard on the north side of Chicago no less!
This might be just the scandal Rick Santorum was counting on to fire up his base. But is it coming out too late?
Tags: Animals, Illinois, Primaries, Puppies!, Republicans, Rick Santorum
