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Indecision Magazine
  • Lifestyle Choices: Indecision Magazine

    Once upon a time Fox News launched Fox News Magazine, "the official lifestyle magazine of Fox News." Approximately a few days later we launched Indecision Magazine, "the official lifestyle magazine of Comedy Central's Indecision."

    In case you missed it, you can read the whole thing here.

    ps. I really hope your therapist isn't hitting on you.

    pps. I also hope you're paying attention to your armpits.

    ppps. Have a salad pop.

    Photo by Lucas Lenci Photo/The Image Bank/Getty Images


    Tags: Indecision Magazine
  • Does Your Therapist Have a Crush on You?

    Your therapist listens to you, watches you cry about that one summer at fat camp and knows just how much you hate your parents. He also touches your hair when you talk about your first sexual experience. Wait — what? Does your therapist have a crush on you?

    Sadly, studies have shown that sharing your problems with a stranger makes them feel close to you, especially if you're attractive. Here are some ways to tell if your head shrinker is more interested in showing you than growing you…

    1. He asks a lot of personal questions. It's normal for your therapist to want to know what makes you uncomfortable, but asking you if your thong hurts is a little different.

    2. He can't stop talking about that one time in college. It was nothing. Just a little kiss with your best friend Stacy at a frat party. But for some reason your therapist thinks this event is worth spending a month discussing in detail while holding a notepad down on his lap.

    3. He offers to make house calls. You just settled down on the couch with a glass of wine to watch 9 1/2 Weeks when your therapist calls. After you tell him what you're doing, he says he loves that movie. A lot. In fact, he wants to see it again. But he's not sure if it's a good idea for you to watch it alone. It's a little intense. He would be willing to come over and help you through it. He even has a nice pinot he could bring.

    4. He asks you to lay down on the couch. The first time you went to see him there were just two chairs in his office. The next time, a sleek black leather chaise is in your chair's place. It cost several thousand dollars but you have to pay for quality, he tells you. It's a little awkward to lay on it in your skirt, but he says being horizontal increases the flow of blood to your brain, which is good for feelings.

    5. He wants to sleep with you again. Seducing the therapist your parents make you go to is what they deserve for never being around and flirting with your boyfriends. This "therapist" should know it didn't mean anything. Don't they teach them that in school?

    If you think your therapist has a crush on you, it's important to tell your parents. Especially your mother. Maybe she'll get competitive and take him off your hands. You've got more important things to deal with, like becoming a well-adjusted young woman.

    Photo by George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images


    Tags: Indecision Magazine
  • 4 Movie-Inspired Vacations

    We've all been there. You start planning a fun-filled getaway for you and your family — or a romantic one with that special somebody! — but it just feels like the same old, same old.

    Then it's time to take a tip from Hollywood! Jazz up your next vacation with a little inspiration from these big-screen classics…

    Fargo

    1. Fargo – Fargo, North Dakota

    Who says it's more fun in the sun? Follow the Coen brothers north and get a taste of the annual Winter Carnival (and maybe some Arby's), which dates back to 1928. We betcha you'll love it!

    (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images)

    2. Hoosiers – Milan, Indiana

    Don't let the small size fool you — this town's some 2,000 residents know how to party! Watch some hoops, shuck some corn and wonder why you didn't come sooner. (Just be careful of those farmers' daughters, boys — their dads aren't afraid to use pitchforks!)

    (Photo by Visions of America/Universal Images Group/Getty Images)

    Indiana

    3. The Hurt Locker – Baghdad, Iraq

    They didn't nickname this place the "Cradle of Civilization" for nothing! Featuring plenty of abandoned palaces where you can unwind in style, this is one vacation you won't want to cut and run from.

    (Photo by Ahmad Al-Rubaye/AFP/Getty Images)

    4. The Silence of the Lambs – Baltimore, Maryland

    Hannibal Lecter's asylum digs here may not suit your tastes (I know, I know…), but there's plenty more to check out! From beautiful oceanside views to first-class dining, this city is culturally rich — but you don't have to be!

    (Photo by Edwin Remsberg/The Image Bank/Getty Images)

    Baltimore

    Tags: Indecision Magazine
  • Facials You Can EAT

    Let's face it, the economy sucks. Women everywhere are finding it harder to justify spending thousands of dollars at the spa when some Americans can't even afford to eat the food on their plates. If you're one of those women who feels bad for poor people but still wants to be pretty, here's a beauty secret that will feed your hunger to save money: food facials.

    You probably don't know this, but the stuff that gets squirted onto your face during a professional facial is the same stuff that's in food, but like on a molecular level. Ancient women like Cleopatra and our moms knew the beauty benefits of food even before science was a thing. That's why they used to bathe in milk and wash their hair with egg yolks.  That's also why older women smell a little funny. But thanks to modern times, anyone can can make food facials that smell, look and taste delicious.

    With science in mind, we decided to conduct an experiment. Over a one-week period we had our interns put their faces where their mouths are! Kirstal, Ane, Devin and Chynuh were tasked with putting every meal they ate on their face for ten minutes to see what foods made their skin better.

    Some made their skin glow, some didn't do anything and one resulted in a skin graft (You're such a trooper, Devin!). Here are the exciting results…

    Kirstal: I'm a lacto-vegan. When my boss told me I had to do this experiment, I said, "OK. I'm a lacto-vegan." Then I told him what that was, which is a vegan who sometimes eats cheese. Because I'm a lacto-vegan, this challenge was pretty easy for me. BEST FOOD FACIAL: Fruits and vegetables (chew them up first!). WORST FOOD FACIAL: Brown rice with Braggs Liquid Aminos seasoning. It mostly just fell off of my face and stained my skin.

    Ane: I'm trying to lose weight for swimsuit season (Ugh!), so this assignment was perfect. I ended up losing 10 pounds in five days because it was so hard to eat the food off my face. I have a small tongue. On the last day, my boss told me I'd misunderstood and didn't only have to eat the food on my face. I was embarrassed at first, but now all the girls in the office are going on this diet. BEST FOOD FACIAL: The best food facial for tongue-challenged individuals is definitely Greek yogurt. WORST FOOD FACIAL: Diet coke.

    Devin: Being a man means eating a lot of meat. While I've heard that putting steak on a black eye helps heal it, I wasn't sure if the same was true for a cooked steak. Unfortunately it wasn't. I also shouldn't have ordered it with spicy peppercorn sauce. The waiter was pretty surprised to see me pick up the steak from the sizzle pan and put it directly on my face. It hurt, but you live and learn, you know? BEST FOOD FACIAL: Aloe, although it tastes gnarly. WORST FOOD FACIAL: Grilled meat.

    Chynuh: Food is especially important to me because I'm part Cherokee/African-American/Indonesian/Peruvian/Icelandic. Also, I guess I have perfect skin because one time I went to the dermatologist and he told me I had perfect skin? Anyways, my skin still looks perfect so I guess it worked. BEST FOOD FACIAL: Hákarl. WORST FOOD FACIAL: Sriracha hot wings.

    There you have it! Have fun finding your favorite "foocial".

    Photo by RubberBall Productions/The Agency Collection/Getty Images


    Tags: Indecision Magazine
  • 4 Quick and Healthy Substitutes for Mayo

    Sure, mayonnaise is delicious, but it can also add a lot of unnecessary calories to a meal. For example, did you know that just one jar of the creamy white condiment can contain up to 9,600 calories?! That's 2.7 extra pounds on your bathroom scale tomorrow morning.

    Why not try one of these more healthful alternatives?

    1. Hummus - Next time you're making a ham sandwich, mix things up by spreading a dollop of these exotic Mediterranean treat on your bread. Ciao, bella! 

    2. Less mayonnaise – Instead of stirring a whole bunch of mayo into your tuna salad, try using half as much. It's still delicious and has approximately half the calories!

    3. White paste – They say that presentation is half the experience of eating. If that's so, then is is sure to do the trick. White paste looks almost exactly like mayonnaise. In fact, maybe ultra-thin photographers use it as a mayo-substitute when shooting food on set.

    4. A banana – Bananas are super scrumptious and contain a mere fraction of the calories found in a 30 oz. container of store bought mayonnaise. Here's a hint: Throw it in the freezer for a frozen summertime treat!

    Photo by Glowimages/Getty Images


    Tags: Indecision Magazine