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  • Mitt Romney Knows Where the Jobs Are Hiding Because He Hid Them

    Over the course of his career at Bain Capital, Mitt Romney was responsible for the creation of thousands of jobs. Mostly in the midwest. Of Guangdong province

    Mitt Romney's financial company, Bain Capital, invested in a series of firms that specialized in relocating jobs done by American workers to new facilities in low-wage countries like China and India.

    During the nearly 15 years that Romney was actively involved in running Bain, a private equity firm that he founded, it owned companies that were pioneers in the practice of shipping work from the United States to overseas call centers and factories making computer components, according to filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

    The morality and economics of outsourcing are a bit murky. After all, the improvement in the livelihood of millions of Chinese and Indians has to count as one of the biggest success stories in economic history. And the lives of American consumers are improved by access to inexpensive foreign-made goods.

    But the politics aren't complicated at all…

    Speaking at a metalworking factory in Cincinnati last week, Romney cited his experience as a businessman, saying he knows what it would take to bring employers back to the United States. "For me it's all about good jobs for the American people and a bright and prosperous future," he said.

    He knows how to bring back jobs because he's the one who sent them away.

    And if the barrage of attack ads unleashed by the Obama campaign does manage to paint Romney as a job-destroying plutocrat, at least Bain Capital will be responsible for destroying a rich guy's career for once.

    Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Bain Capital, China, Economy, India, Mitt Romney
  • Set the "Days Without a Joe Biden Gaffe" Counter Back to Zero

    It's not really in Vice President Joe Biden's nature to let a nice-sized captive audience go to waste. So, earlier today, when he found himself standing before a group of fired-up Democratic voters in Rochester, N.H., he just had to show off his spot on "call center" voice.

    Yes, you know what those quotes around "call center" are there for. Unfortunately

    My favorite part is how even he gets frustrated and annoyed with himself about midway through the impression. You can almost see him thinking "Goddamnit, Joe!"

    Just like the rest of us.

    Tags: India, Joe Biden, New Hampshire
  • From the Pork Barrel: Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?

    * An embittered snake charmer released a sack full of cobras and other poisonous snakes into an office full of Indian bureaucrats. The ones that weren't safely removed were given medium-wage jobs with decent benefit packages.

    * Remember what a bummer it was the day you caught your mom humming, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"? Well, I'm sorry to break this to you but the New York Times just caught on to the "Mitt Romney is a robot" joke. So much for that one.

    * Grover Norquist has good news for all! Turns out raising taxes on non-millionaire people doesn't actually count as raising taxes. That's probably because non-millionaire people don't actually count as people.

    Tags: Animals, Grover Norquist, India, Mitt Romney, Music, Pork Barrel, Robots Are Dope!, Taxes
  • Europe and Uncool Places Vie for Top IMF Spot

    God, international political leaders are so bitchy. Instead of mourning the tragic retirement of sophisticated, irresistible former International Monetary Fund leader Dominique Strauss-Kahn, they’re all jockeying to fill his place!

    It's as if capitalism's head cheerleader fell off the top of the pyramid, and all the other spirit queens are sniping and backbiting their way to what they hope is the rulership of the squad

    Now that Dominique Strauss-Kahn has resigned as the chief of the International Monetary Fund, the choice of his successor is quickly turning into a competition between Europeans determined to keep the job for one of their own and leaders of emerging economic powers like China, India and South Africa that hope to break Europe’s established grip on the post.

    Who the hell do these second- and third-world jerks think they are? Tell 'em, European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso!

    "It should be a European," he said at a business conference in Brussels on Wednesday. Taken together, European members "are the biggest stakeholders in the I.M.F. Why now choose someone because he is not European? That makes no sense."

    Yes, these less-pale nations should assume the position Europe has forced upon them in the past, which incidentally is not unlike the position Dominique Strauss-Kahn is alleged to have forced an African immigrant maid to assume at the Sofitel in New York City earlier this week.

    Until these brown people learn to do as Europe tells them to do, there will be no peace and happiness in this world.

    Tags: China, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Europe, France, India, Money, South Africa
  • Colbert on Obama's Expensive Trip to India

    Have you heard about President Obama's trip to India? They say it's costing taxpayers $200 millions per day and the use of 34 Navy warships. And even though those figures are completely fabricated, they're still outrageous, so people are naturally furious. When will the President learn that the American people want fiscal responsibility and would never approve of going to a foreign land and spending that kind of money and military resources without getting a bloody never-ending quagmire or two out of the deal?

    For more on the President's trip to India, check out The Daily Show's coverage after the jump.

    The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

    Read More »

    Tags: Aasif Mandvi, Fox, Glenn Beck, India, Jon Stewart, Michele Bachmann, Military, Sean Hannity, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Video