Quote Unquote: On Dogs

Scott Crider — founder of Dogs Against Romney — on the recent "revelation" that Barack Obama had written in his autobiography that he was fed dog meat as a young boy while living in Indonesia…
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"If President Obama had made the conscious decision to eat dog meat as a 36-year old adult, in America, claimed the dog liked being eaten, and still claimed he didn't think there was anything wrong with it, the Romney campaign would have a point…"

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I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Mitt Romney is not super excited about the prospect of this meme blowing up in the media.

Tags: Barack Obama, Food, Indonesia, Mitt Romney, Puppies!, Quote Unquote

U.S.-Pakistani Relations Requires a Good Osama bin Laden Conspiracy Theory

Is there any problem that a halfway decent conspiracy theory can't fix? Probably not. Just ask the cryogenically frozen brains of founding fathers George Washington and Ronald Reagan. (Oh, you doubt that Reagan was present at our nation's founding? Then what did he use his time machine for, smart guy?)

Coverage continues with Resident Expert John Hodgman and his big brain after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: al Qaeda, CIA, Conspiracies, Indonesia, John Hodgman, John Kerry, Jon Stewart, Military, Osama bin Laden, Pakistan, Spying, The Daily Show, Video

Growing Up Obama

There's an awesome article in this Sunday's New York Times magazine about Barack Obama's mom, Stanley Ann Dunham. Because we are veteran political analysts and not soft, pliable narrative junkies, we're going to focus on the bits of information we gleaned about American Jesus rather than his mother.

Here are the most important things you need to know about this article…

1. It contains amazing photographs, the most fabulous of which was previously detailed on this site.

2. Little racist-ass punk kids in Indonesia used to throw rocks at little Barack and hurl racial epithets at him, and everyone thought this was perfectly normal and acted like this was okay. He apparently ignored it. At the age of, like, seven. We would speculate on what that does to a child and how it forges a person's character, but we're just bloggers in our underpants.

3. He is the secret crown prince of Kenya, where the locals drink the blood of white Christian NASCAR fans for funsies.

 

Tags: Barack Obama, Hawaii, Indonesia, Racism, Stanley Ann Dunham

Colbert Offers Hand Greeting Advice to Michelle Obama

As you may have heard, Michelle Obama caused an international stir recently when she shook hands with Indonesia's information minister. I'm telling you, this lady is nothing but trouble. Why can't she just stick to normal First Lady stuff like making her kids drive her around with jarred fetuses?

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Indonesia, Michelle Obama, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

Quote Unquote: The Indonesian Touch

Indonesian conservative Muslim politician Tifatul Sembiring, in defense of his scandalous handshake with American First Lady Michelle Obama, an admitted and unrepentant female…

"I tried to prevent (being touched) with my hands but Mrs. Michelle held her hands too far toward me (so) we touched."

What the hell?! That guy just plagiarized the first line of my unpublished romance novel, "Dalliance with an Indonesian Minister Beneath the Gibbous Moon." (I knew I shouldn't have posted the manuscript on that online forum.)

Tags: Indonesia, Islam, Michelle Obama, Quote Unquote, Religion