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Iowa
  • Conservatives Acknowledge Rand Paul Couldn't Get Any Dumber

    Speaking at a Faith & Freedom Coalition dinner in Waukee, Iowa, Senator Rand Paul tried to make a funny as part of his campaign to reconcile mainstream Republican activists to the influx Ron Paul supporters who have emerged as a powerful force in Republican caucuses and conventions…

    "The president recently weighed in on marriage and you know he said his views were evolving on marriage. Call me cynical, but I wasn't sure his views on marriage could get any gayer," he said, drawing laughter from the audience.

    Though Paul is widely seen as positioning himself as a socially conservative candidate primed to win the 2016 Republican Iowa Caucuses, such comments are still surprising given the support his father engenders among increasingly tolerant young people. It's not as if gay Americans and supporters of Rand Paul's father are so different. For one thing, the former are often closeted, the latter are typically basemented.

    Even more surprising was the reaction from Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus and social conservative activist Tony Perkins…

    Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, appearing on CBS' "Face the Nation," strongly disagreed with the Kentucky Republican's choice of words.

    "I don't think this is something we should joke about," Perkins said. "We are talking about individuals who feel very strongly one way or the other, and I think we should be civil, respectful, allowing all sides to have the debate…. I think this is not something to laugh about. It's not something to poke fun at other people about. This is a very serious issue."

    This is the same Tony Perkins who recently blamed the Secret Service prostitution scandal on the repeal of the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Tony "the organization I head is considered a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center" Perkins. When that Tony Perkins thinks you've gone too far, maybe you need a more Ayn Randian approach to quips: everyone in the audience comes up with their own jokes and there's absolutely no sharing.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Iowa, LGBT, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Rand Paul, Tony Perkins
  • All of Obama's Official Trips Just So Happen to Be to Swing States

    Look, as the President of the United States, sometimes you're gonna have to travel. You're going to have to get in a plane and fly to another state and say some presidential stuff in front of a bunch of out-of-work factory workers. It's just the way it is. It's a simple fact of life.

    And if, by chance, those some –or most, or maybe all — of those places to which you simply have to go happen to be in swing states that you will need to carry in November to win reelection, is that your fault?

    Some Republican legislators seem to think so

    In a letter to the Government Accountability Office from RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, the committee requested an investigation into Obama's recent travel – including trips this week to Iowa and North Carolina – alleging those trips were more political than official.

    The White House and Obama For America, the president's reelection campaign, go to great lengths to distinguish between official and campaign activities, as do elected officials and their reelection efforts at various levels of government.

    But Obama's recent speeches, the RNC said in the letter, were "events widely reported to be equivalent to campaign rallies." The committee's case sees supporting evidence in a list of the states Obama has visited this month, including the general election battlegrounds of Florida, Iowa, Michigan, North Carolina and Ohio.

    Hey, I'm not saying that the president's recent schedule seems somewhat fishy, because it's totally not. I'm just saying that somebody totally else might be tempted to say that the president's recent schedule seems somewhat fishy.

    But, I'm certain that Obama's spokespeople have immaculate explanations for anything that anybody might be tempted to maybe think…

    (via Washington Free Beacon)

    .
    Related: Global Warming No Longer a Problem, According to President Obama

    Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Colorado, Corruption, Florida, Iowa, Jay Carney, Michigan, Money, North Carolina, Ohio
  • Ron Paul Scares GOP With Novel Strategy of Knowing Election Rules

    Ron PaulMitt Romney swept the East Coast primaries last night, leaving us with the crushing realization that we're going to be stuck with seven months worth of retreaded jokes about Romney's lack of human touch, like dogs stuck a top Mitt's car. At this point, the last interesting subplot in the Republican primary involves the potential  influence America's most intelligent and ideologically consistent lawn gnome, Ron Paul, may exert on the convention in Tampa.

    Judging by his performance in Rhode Island and Pennsylvania, where he finished ahead of Newt Gingrich and is likely to garner several delegates, it will be some time before Paul is forced to return to his former profession of yelling at squirrels while handing out poorly mimeographed newsletters at the local park. Paul's relative success — he's generally improved on his 2008 performance — is a result of a novel strategy known as "study the fucking delegates selection rules and follow through after each caucus."

    Not everyone in the GOP is happy with the Paul campaign's organizational strength. At a county caucus in Washington State, a Republican official tried to shut down a meeting after a Paul supporter had been elected to chair the gathering.

    It's such nefarious rule-learning and organization that will allow Paul to control the Minnesota delegation to the Republican National Convention…

    Paul took home 20 of the 24 possible delegates and nearly all the alternative delegates Saturday during the Minnesota congressional district conventions….

    Thirteen more at-large delegates will be chosen at the Minnesota state convention, but the delegation demographics there will be very similar to those in the congressional districts, and Paul appears poised to come away with even more delegates after the May 4 convention.

    Similarly, Paul is on track to win a majority of Iowa's delegates, despite coming in third place in the unofficial statewide tally. This means the Iowa Caucuses have now had three winners over the past few months, which begs the question — who do these indecisive Iowa voters think they are, Mitt Romney?

    Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Iowa, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Primaries, Republican National Convention, Republicans, Rhode Island, Ron Paul
  • Stephen Colbert on the Liberal Sliming of Pink Slime

    "Our beef now has so many hormones, it's a member of the transgender community." — Stephen Colbert

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    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.


    Tags: Food, Iowa, Kansas, Liberals, Rick Perry, Sam Brownback, Stephen Colbert, Terry Branstad, Texas, The Colbert Report, Video
  • Sen. Chuck Grassley Increasingly Annoyed by The "History" Channel

    Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley shares many of the same concerns as other Americans in these troubling times. Not the least of which, obviously, is What the fuck is going on with The History Channel lately?

    "No history," Grassley tweeted on Feb. 19. "I used to get history. Why do we h[a]v[e] such a channel when it doesn’t do history."

    A week later, the senator turned to the History Channel and found, not black and white footage of Nazis, but "Mud Cats." Again Grassley took to Twitter to express his displeasure. "When wi[ll] they put history back on the channel," he tweeted…

    "I love history," Grassley wrote. "A better understanding is going to strengthen our country. It's going to strengthen patriotism." Plus this non-history programming represents an unfulfilled promise by the network. "When I signed up for the History Channel on my satellite service, I expected to get history," he said. "Instead, all I see are people chopping wood or driving trucks on an icy road."

    I doubt that Sen. Grassley fully understands the forces he's dealing with here. Somebody needs to shut him up now, or he's going to wake up one of these nights, strapped to a cold metal table as the latest subject of a History Channel "in-depth investigation."

    By which I mean, alien anal probe.

    But, you knew that, right. Well, if you've been watching The History Channel you did, at any rate.


    Tags: Chuck Grassley, Iowa, Senate, Television