Latest Posts

  • Bill Clinton Can Only Be President of Your Heart

    There have to be less onerous ways to atone for one's sins than appearing on CNN's Piers Morgan — Jews manage to get away with just a daylong fast — but there Bill Clinton was, speaking to Morgan at the Clinton Global Initiative and considering a return to presidential politics

    There are only two countries I'm eligible to run for the leadership position is if I move to Ireland and buy a house, I can — I can run for president of Ireland, because of my Irish heritage.

    And because I was born in Arkansas, which is part of the Louisiana Purchase, any person anywhere in the world that was born in a place that ever was part of the French empire, if you move to — if you live in France for six months and speak French, you can run for president.

    As with many things that come out of Clinton's mouth, this has the distinction of being  both utterly charming and complete bullshit.

    Irish law requires that at least one parent or grandparent be an Irish citizen at the time of your birth to generate a claim of citizenship through "heritage." As for the electoral chances of President of the French Republic Le Bubba, residents of former French territories are no longer eligible to apply for citizenship without going through the regular naturalization process.

    For better or worse, the closest Clinton will come to a presidency is Barack Obama's ongoing campaign to convince voters he's running Clinton's third term.


    Related: Romney's Tax Issues Linked to Bill Clinton's Underwear, Obviously

    Photo by Johannes Simon/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Bill Clinton, CNN, France, Ireland, Piers Morgan
  • Rep. Peter King on Terrorism Outside the U.S. (A.K.A. Not Real Terrorism)

    In Peter King's defense, none of the terror plots enacted by the I.R.A. directly effected me. In fact, I feel like those things happened in a whole other country in some totally different place in the world. So, whatever…

    Coverage continues after the jump with Senior British Correspondent John Oliver.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Read More »

    Tags: House of Representatives, Ireland, Islam, New York, Peter King, Religion, Terrorism, United Kingdom
  • Rep. Peter King Has Love-Hate Relationship with Terrorism

    Rep. Peter King has been catching a lot of flak for hearings about whether or not Muslim-Americans are doing their fair-share to stop all the terrorist attacks that are constantly happening in our country that he'll be holding later this week. But what people fail to realize is that he knows from whence he speaks.

    The man happens to be personally acquainting with the type of mind that will help terrorism take root in a society

    For Representative Peter T. King, as he seizes the national spotlight this week with a hearing on the radicalization of American Muslims, it is the most awkward of résumé entries. Long before he became an outspoken voice in Congress about the threat from terrorism, he was a fervent supporter of a terrorist group, the Irish Republican Army.

    "We must pledge ourselves to support those brave men and women who this very moment are carrying forth the struggle against British imperialism in the streets of Belfast and Derry," Mr. King told a pro-I.R.A. rally on Long Island, where he was serving as Nassau County comptroller, in 1982. Three years later he declared, "If civilians are killed in an attack on a military installation, it is certainly regrettable, but I will not morally blame the I.R.A. for it."

    Oh, come on! This is like comparing apples to Muslims.

    The people who Rep. King was supporting were patriots who killed civilians as a means of bringing about a political end. And the people who Rep. King is investigating are brown-skinned U.S. citizens who eat a bunch of weird-smelling food and don't even believe in the right version of an Abrahamic God.

    Clearly, there is no comparison.

    Tags: House of Representatives, Ireland, Islam, New York, Peter King, Terrorism
  • England vs. Great Britain vs. The United Kingdom

    Ever wonder why that Welsh guy on your Ultimate Frisbee team always gets pissed (annoyed, not drunk) when you're all out getting pissed (drunk, not annoyed) and you say something like, "Ah, Welsh, English… whatever. You all live in England"? Or what the Queen of England is doing on that money you brought back from that weird creepy strip club across the border in Canada? Or why — when you went into hiding after that business deal gone awry and you woke up in the hull of a schooner just off the South Sandwich Islands — the city in which you pulled yourself bleeding from the freezing cold south Atlantic Ocean was named after King Edward?

    Well, this video should clear things up for you…

    (via The Daily What)

    Tags: Australia, Canada, Europe, Ireland, New Zealand, Queen Elizabeth, Religion, United Kingdom
  • Ireland Is Totally Over Its Government

    Did you know that in Foreign Lands, the government is something you can just dissolve in the manner of an Alka-Seltzer tablet? It’s true! In fact, the Irish are doing it as we speak, prompting our Indecision Tweeter to make a culturally insensitive Tweet, because that is what bad people do when confronted with significant structural changes within the government apparatus.

    But whatever, let’s see what the New York Times has to say about these shenanigans

    Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen resisted calls for his resignation on Monday, vowing to stay in power long enough to pass an austerity budget needed for an EU/IMF bailout package, and then call an early election.

    Cowen came under acute pressure after the Green Party said it would quit the coalition after the budget if a January election was not called and opposition parties demanded a snap election be held even before the budget.

    Okay, first, apparently dissolving a government just means holding elections earlier than expected. Evs, boring.

    Second, HAHAHA, Ireland has a GREEN PARTY?! AHAHAHAHHAHA! Of COURSE it does! All the Green Party politicians’ speeches go like this: "Tweedley deedly deedly doo, tweedley deedly deedle!" and are set to a rousing jam featuring a 110-year-old man playing the spoons and a beautiful young Titian-haired lass playing the harp. Or maybe Ralph Nader is involved? Who knows? These filthy savages, with their illuminated manuscripts and their complex native language, are impossible to figure out!

    Tags: Ireland