The Middle East: apparently people are sensitive about some things over there. Despite — or perhaps because of — this, many comedians feel compelled to make jokes about the region.
National Security Adviser James Jones recently joined their ranks, and boy, are his arms tired (from being sorry)…
National Security Adviser Gen. James Jones (Ret.) apologized Monday for a two-minute joke he told before a pro-Israel think tank last week.
The joke, which Jones told in front of the Washington Institute for Near East Policy, involved a Taliban fighter who was lost in the desert in Afghanistan and stumbled upon a small store owned by a "Jewish merchant."
"Your brother tells me I need a tie to get in the restaurant."
Yeah, no wonder he had to apologize.
Two minutes is way too long.
Tags: James Jones, Middle East
Over the weekend, National Security Adviser James Jones said President Obama will repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell after he gets some other stuff off his desk. One has to assume among the biggest priorities on Obama's desk are the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, where we desperately need gay translators who were discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. So, hopefully the wars will end soon, and the President will be able to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, so we can end the wars and repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It's sort of like that Joseph Heller book, Good as Gold.
Here are the best DADT-related clips from The Colbert Report.
The Word: Stonewalling
The list continues below.
Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, DADT, Iraq, James Jones, LGBT, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
Is the Obama administration actually succeeding in making it so there's less terrorists out there trying to kill us with their radical plan of not actively trying to make more terrorists out there trying to kill us?
Yes, according to a guy who has absolutely no vested interest in the answer to that question…
Responding to criticism from former Vice President Cheney that President Obama is making the nation more vulnerable to terrorism, the president’s National Security Adviser, Gen. Jim Jones (Ret.), told ABC News in an exclusive interview that actually the reverse is true: President Obama's greater success with international relations has meant more terrorists put out of commission.
Yeah, but that's just because he's giving them jobs in the administration.
But, hey, ya know. Whatever works.
Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, James Jones, Terrorism
Well, Barack Obama just gave his (by my count) 413th press conference since being elected as the next president. This time around, it was to introduce his national security team.
The rundown goes like this…
* Attorney General: Eric Holder – AKA black guy with moustache
* National Security Advisor: Gen. James L. Jones – AKA clean-cut, avuncular white guy
* Secretary of Homeland Security: Janey Napolitano – AKA Hobbit woman
* Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates – AKA token Republican
* Ambassador to the United Nations: Susan Rice – AKA pixie woman
And, of course, the big surprise was his choice for Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton. Wow! What a shocker! I never, ever in a billion years would have guessed that one. Amazing, how they managed to keep a lid on that choice for all these weeks, with no leaks to the press or anything!
Man, you'd think a choice like Hillary Clinton would have dominated the news cycle for the past three weeks, rendering the actual announcement as little more than a boring bit of extra news that just gets stuck at the end of a really not all that funny post that most people probably aren't even going to read till the end.
Yep. Exciting news.
Tags: Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Hillary Clinton, Homeland Security, James Jones, Janet Napolitano, Obama Administration, Robert Gates, Susan Rice