From the Pork Barrel: Terror Babies? Terror Babies!

* The Center for Immigration Studies (whatever that is) publishes brand new spine-tingling Terror Baby fantasy fiction!

* Michele Bachmann doubles down on stupid.

* Why oh why won't you people let Meghan McCain's dad go to Las Vegas?!

* Hillary Clinton will not serve a 2nd term as Secretary of State, nor is she interested in challenging Obama. Which totally means she is challenging Obama! Am I right?!

* The only thing less interesting than the manufactured controversy over Obama's picks for the NCAA tournament are Obama's picks for the NCAA tournament.

* Rep. Jean Schmidt: A vagina and a pro-choice stance do not belong on the same person.

* Today's forecast: Mostly sunny, with a slight chance of skin-burning radioactive fallout.

Tags: 14th Amendment, Abortion, Babies, Basketball, Constitution, Environment, Hillary Clinton, House of Representatives, Immigration, Japan, Jean Schmidt, Michele Bachmann, Obama Administration, Pork Barrel, Sports, Terrorism

Rep. Jean Jean Schmidt Puts End to Birther Rumors by Confirming Them

God bless Ohio Congresswoman Jean Schmidt!

She's a Republican who's smart and reasonable enough (well, not smart or reasonable in a technical sense) to see through these rumors (or to see right at them) about Barack Obama's birthplace and dismiss them (or actually maybe believe them whole heartedly).

And she will hold no truck (I guess, maybe a little truck… or a lot of truck?) with people who propagate such slanders (alternative truths) against our Commander-in-Chief (the foreign guy who scammed his way into the White House).

Just take a look at this conversation she had with a a woman furious under the willful delusion that Barack Obama was born in Haiti or something this past weekend at a Teabagging Party in Cincinnati…

What a smart (moronic) and noble (horrible) woman.

Tags: Birthers, House of Representatives, Jean Schmidt, Ohio, Tea Party

Rep. Jean Schmidt Hit by Cut and Run Driver

Sure, U.S. Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-OH) can be pretty obnoxious, but is that really grounds to hit her with a car and speed off, leaving her with broken ribs and vertebrae?

Sounds like a case of a cut-and-run driver…

U.S. Rep. Jean Schmidt of Ohio suffered broken ribs and vertebrae when she was struck by a car while jogging last week, but the damage wasn't discovered until after she fainted from pain on an overseas trip, her spokesman said Monday.

The Republican congresswoman was heading to a weekend fact-finding visit to Afghanistan when severe pain caused her to pass out while the plane was landing at a U.S. Air Force Base in Germany…

The avid marathoner was struck by a car last week. Police still haven't found the driver.

Although almost anyone could be a suspect in this case, one thing we know is that it wasn't a Marine. Just ask U.S. Rep Jean Schmidt (R-OH), who, in recalling her conversation with a Marine colonel, stated…

"He asked me to send Congress a message — stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman [Jack] Murtha a message — that cowards cut and run, Marines never do," Schmidt said. Murtha is a 37-year Marine veteran and ranking Democrat on the defense appropriations subcommittee.

Democrats booed and shouted her down — causing the House to come to a standstill.

So clearly Marines are off the suspect list, but Jack Murtha is still on it. Also to be considered are fellow cut-and-run cowards Barack Obama, Joe Biden and John Kerry, as well as George W. Bush and Nouri al-Maliki.

One person who definitely did not hit Schmidt with his car: U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI). His license has been suspended since 2006.

Tags: House of Representatives, Jean Schmidt, Ohio, Patrick Kennedy, Rhode Island