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Jeremiah Wright
  • Barack Obama, Our First Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln President

    barack obamaBefore Newsweek proclaimed Barack Obama "The First Gay President," thanks to his support for marriage equality and the parallels between the President's biracial background and the search for belonging common among gays, Obama was also our "first Jewish president" according to New York Magazine and "the first female president" according to the Washington Post's Kathleen Parker.

    All categorically false, according to a Super PAC funded by conservative billionaire Tom Ricketts, founder of TD Ameritrade and occasional suckler of the federal teat on behalf of his Chicago Cubs…

    The $10 million plan, one of several being studied by Mr. Ricketts, includes preparations for how to respond to the charges of race-baiting it envisions if it highlights Mr. Obama's former ties to Mr. Wright, who espouses what is known as "black liberation theology."

    The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an "extremely literate conservative African-American" who can argue that Mr. Obama misled the nation by presenting himself as what the proposal calls a "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln."

    Unlike a bi-curious Grover Cleveland or a femme Andrew Johnson, a metrosexual black Abe Lincoln is actually an appealing description of a president, which is why Ricketts may be blowing $10 million of his fortune to inform Americans that Obama is not the metrosexual black Abe Lincoln they had expected.

    Instead, like a racist Phoenix rising from the fevered swamps of the right-wing id, "The Defeat of Barack Hussein Obama: The Ricketts Plan to End His Spending for Good" will reprise Obama's relationship with Reverend Jeremiah Wright

    "Our plan is to do exactly what John McCain would not let us do: Show the world how Barack Obama's opinions of America and the world were formed," the proposal says. "And why the influence of that misguided mentor and our president's formative years among left-wing intellectuals has brought our country to its knees."

    With any luck, Ricketts will go forward with a campaign to do "exactly what John McCain would not let us do" just to find out exactly why McCain didn't do it.

    Related: Birthers Divided on Whether or Not to Get Behind Ridiculous Nonsense

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Jeremiah Wright, John McCain, Super PACs
  • Barack Obama Is a Radical Christian Anti-Christian Muslim

    You know what really annoys me about liberals? On the one hand, they're constantly complaining about people like Glenn Beck holding massive hate rallies under the guise of patriotism and religion, but then on the other, they're always going on an on about how we need more scientific research.

    Excuse me, Mr. Hypocrite, but can you possibly even imagine a better opportunity to study the habits and social rituals of the North American primates who have overpopulated the continent? I mean, Hello!

    Like, take for example this footage that The Young Turks collected on their recent expedition to Beck 8/28 Restoring Honor rally in Washinton DC…

    Interviewer: What woke you up?

    Teabagger: Reverend Wright. You can't convince me that you can go to church with someone for twenty years and not share the same ideology. You can't convince me of that.

    Interviewer: So, you think Obama is a Christian.

    Teabagger: Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Do you? No, I do not believe he is a Christian at all. I think he has bowed down to the Muslim faith. I think he was raised as a child Muslim.

    Just look at this specimen's eyes when she's expressing herself. It's almost human. Like, you can almost imagine that there's a thinking brain in there. Truly spectacular.

    (via Dan Savage)

    Tags: 8/28 Rally, Barack Obama, Birthers, Christianity, Glenn Beck, Islam, Jeremiah Wright, Religion, Tea Party
  • Somebody's Trying to Hide Incredibly Well Known Pseudo-Scandals About Barack Obama from Wikipedia

    Uh oh. Looks like Chairman Obama has been siccing his Ministry of Information agents on Wikipedia to scrub his page clean of all the important, completely-not-conspiratory information about him…

    The brewing scandal was first reported by WorldNetDaily reporter Aaron Klein, who noticed that edits adding references to [William] Ayers and [Jeremiah] Wright, among other things, were quickly being undone by Wikipedia volunteers.

    Klein found it particularly alarming that a Wikipedia user called "Jerusalem21" was recently hit with a three-day wiki-suspension after twice posting the neutral and encyclopedic fact that there are "some doubts about whether Obama was born in the U.S. "

    That was Sunday. Fox picked up Klein's explosive scoop today, noting in the first paragraph that — in contrast to Obama's entry — the Wikipedia "pages for Ayers and Wright are heavily peppered with references to the president."

    What?! You mean the Wiki pages for Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright — two men who are talked about today solely because of their relationships with Barack Obama — mention their relationships with Barack Obama. But the page about Barack Obama doesn't mention them?

    What can they possibly write about on his page if not about Jeremiah Wright or William Ayers? Has he done anything else of importance besides know them?

    Well, I mean, besides the presidency thing.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Fox, Jeremiah Wright, Wikipedia, William Ayers, WorldNetDaily
  • Safely Elected, Barack Obama Can Start Skipping Church Again

    Presidential elections in our country tend to put greater emphasis on church attendance than, say, international nuclear proliferation. And this year was no exception, with pastors like Jeremiah Wright and John Hagee getting far more press exposure than actual presidential candidates like Tom Vilsack and Jim Gilmore.

    No one knew this better than Barack Obama, whose campaign nearly collapsed under the weight of Wright's controversial sermons and God-awful JFK impersonation. The Illinois Senator felt forced to drop out of Wright's church and bounce between a number of other ones between late April and Election Day.

    But now that he won, he can finally drop that whole act

    President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

    On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

    Indeed, there are few place you're more likely to find Obama than not in church. Recall, if you will, the controversy surrounding Wright's "God damn America" sermon. Obama claims to have never heard Wright utter those words. Why?

    Because he didn't attend church that day.

    And where was Obama when Hagee declared that Hitler was sent by God to herd the Jews to Israel? Hypocritically playing basketball perhaps.

    Come to think of it, Obama has also been neglecting his obligations to secretly attend a mosque and secretly pray toward Mecca five times per day ever since the day he was born!

    What a disappointment.  Doesn't Obama realize that religious zealots make by far the most entertaining presidents?  The man hasn't even taken office, and already he's making Dick Cheney look like Jimmy Swaggart at a pentacostal tent revival.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Christianity, Dick Cheney, Jeremiah Wright, Jim Gilmore, John Hagee, Tom Vilsack